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  #1  
Old 20-12-2010, 03:34 PM
HalfaMan
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Hello from Chilly Sussex UK

Hi

I just joined and hope to seek and get some clarity.

My life was ripped apart in August last year when my wife, soul mate and reason to be passed away with cancer.
We had only a short 18 month fight before it took her.
All was going well when suddenly she became sick and within a week and a half she lay in my arms at the local hospice and passed to spirit, those unforgettable big brown eyes closing and lost to me.

To say I was devastated is a massive under statement, in a state of shock I saw to her funeral arrangements.
She was just 50 and I was 44 then.

However, the universe had not taken enough pleasure at my pain and boxing day 2009 saw my mothers cancer take a terrible turn for the worst after 24 years of fighting it.
Her bones were gradually dissolved by this evil thing and so in early May this year saw me holding my mum in my arms as she too passed to spirit, just 7 months after my wife.

So now I was left with both my much loved and needed ladies gone.

Here I am approaching another empty Xmas, lost as ever I could be.

So very confused about what is and will be.

My wife was a very spiritual lady, so very calming for me, she believed and long ago when we spoke of what would happen we both agreed to wait for the other.
It was our belief that we would be reunited and could carry on just as we had been but without the illnesses and the ever present ticking clock.

This is a strongly held belief, one that I was brought up with as mum & dad are spiritualists.

Dad is still here and I do have a sister but they live at some distance so I live alone apart from the little things that my wife and I knew.

I have had some readings but nothing beats hearing from my lady myself.

The more I read on what life in spirit is like the more I worry and fear that what awaits me is nothing but a sanitised existence with none of the comforts and simplicity that this life once afforded me.

So that is me.

I guess like so many, I arrive in need of kind assistance.

Oh and my name is Mike.
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  #2  
Old 20-12-2010, 03:54 PM
Native spirit Native spirit is online now
Administrator
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 11,138
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Hey Mike.


Welcome to spiritual forums, im sorry for your loss i too lost my husband to cancer at the age of 44,
things will never be the same for you , you need time to grieve firstly for your partner and them your mother, this will take time,
time is a great healer i know its what everyone says. but it is true,
you have to take one day at a time,
but speak to your partner and your mother they can hear you, they are just the other side of the veil.


Namaste
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  #3  
Old 20-12-2010, 04:22 PM
HalfaMan
Posts: n/a
 
Thanks, I know they are but feel so isolated and I know that my deep pain makes it harder for them to come to me.
I just wish I could have one bit of solid proof for me, not via anyone that would help no end.
I carry on to make my lady proud of me, to honour her.
But like you say, things can never be the same.... or can they? one day when I get home maybe?
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  #4  
Old 20-12-2010, 04:40 PM
Silver Silver is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 20,100
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Angel1

welcome again, HalfaMan.
I think I understand your name now...

I'm going through my first big holiday season without my son, who passed suddenly in his sleep on Valentine's Day this year. It affects me deeply to see so many having these Losses. Bless you.

I hope this forum will be a source of pleasure and enjoyment to you.
__________________

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  #5  
Old 20-12-2010, 04:42 PM
HalfaMan
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Bless you, I am so sorry for your loss also, it does on the face of it seem such a cruel life :-(
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  #6  
Old 20-12-2010, 05:32 PM
Jules
Posts: n/a
 
Hi Mike,
Welcome to SF, I'm so glad you have been guided here. Of that I have no doubt

My sincere condolances on the loss of your Wife and your Mum
I cant begin to say I understand how you feel as I've lost neither. However, I lost my childhood sweetheart who I married, and was together for 24 years who came home from work one day and decided he wanted a divorce, no explaination no nothing, so in that respect I can empathise as I went through a grieving process. And I lost my darlin dad at the age of 42 to a motorcycle accident. I was 21. It took me 17 years to get over that one, BUT it started my spiritual development properly and I talk to him more now than I ever did! He's firstly my dad and secondly my doorkeeper, my guide, my bestfriend.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is, don't give up hope. You've already got the grounding as you are believer's anyway. Through the grief keep your thoughts high. Talk to your wife and your mum either in your head or out loud. Nobody needs to know unless you want to tell people. The more you talk, the clearer it will become to hear them back. Not necessarily the way you expect though, it could be you see signs on billboards, songs on the radio, plots on tv programmes, an article in a magazine, something wrote on here. Listen to your dreams. If you wake up all fuzzy n warm, accept it, don't question, just KNOW that one of them-if not both- has been with you in the night. Start to trust yourself, that little thought that pops in your head out of nowhere, where did it come from? probably not you

Ok Ive waffled enough. (as I'm want to do now and again!) Hope you're not TOOO snowed in down there. It's pretty bad up in snowy Tameside (nr Manchester). Keep warm

Namaste
Jue
xx
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  #7  
Old 20-12-2010, 06:32 PM
HalfaMan
Posts: n/a
 
Hi Jules

Thanks for the welcome.
That was very harsh on you!

I am a sceptical type by nature and that does not help now, my wife liked me like that as she said it kept her balanced :-)
We were perfect Ying.Yang :-)
Can't say she was my childhood sweetheart but I am sure she would have been had we met back in time.
What I can say is that she was my first serious relationship and the one I left home for.
So I have never had to be on my own until now.

Snow almost gone now, we have lots of rain but the temp is dropping fast so could be fun tomorrow!
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  #8  
Old 20-12-2010, 07:15 PM
Jules
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Lol I thought you said that was very harsh OF you!,. thought oh oh what'd I say wrong now? (I've been known to put foot in gobby before now lol-blonde mo's you see )- and you're very welcome for the welcome
I can't believe the snow is almost gone! we're down to around -9 atm and dropping to around -12 tonight. ah well see whether fred-the-weatherman is wrong again!
Quote:
I am a sceptical type by nature and that does not help now, my wife liked me like that as she said it kept her balanced :-)
We were perfect Ying.Yang :-)


Can't say she was my childhood sweetheart but I am sure she would have been had we met back in time.
What I can say is that she was my first serious relationship and the one I left home for.


So I have never had to be on my own until now.
Don't look on sceptical as being a negative because all you can do is build on that! .. all the years your mum and dad have been spiritualists, and then your wife have now come to the point whereby YOU can start to look for the signs yourself. I've already mentioned a few. You said in your initial post you'd seen mediums but had never had proof for yourself. Step out of your comfort zone and maybe try it for a bit. You could just well be surprised! Now you've found yourself in this horrendous position, you have to learn that you can have that balance for yourself. Not an easy road to follow. But you will get there in time, if you want to.

It doesn't matter how many years someone has been together. It could be 6months or 60 years, if that connection was there and they were the love of your life then no matter what, that pain you feel is going to be as strong. The other thing to remember, is we are all individuals with very personal needs, wants, goals, emotions, feelings etc and no two people will deal with grief the same way. However you cope with it, is going to simply be the best for YOU. Listen to advice along the way by all means, seek medical or professional help if it gets to the point where you CAN'T cope, but discard what opinions you don't need. Don't dwell on it, let it go... it's the other person's thought's that's all.

This is probably the hardest time of the year. You've already experienced that, and here you are again in the same boat. Life seems especially cruel doesn't it? But remember, you've still got Dad so focus on him and instead of mourning, try to celebrate both your wife and your mum's lives. Think of the joy they both brought to Christmas and what it stood for to them. Whilst you still have a heart beating in your chest your wife and mum are never very far from you. They are but a thought and a heartbeat away.

Jue xx
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  #9  
Old 23-12-2010, 07:22 PM
Darkest-Messiah
Posts: n/a
 
Post

Mike.....I wont presume to know your pain and the fullness of your questions.............let me give you something I have shared with but one or two others, that I myself experienced (in the wonder of the possibility that you will see that there is life pre-birth to forever beyond)

This Reality is one which few have the need or right to......read it or not, but life does come and go, and finding her will be at thy Wills (not some "god's" will, nor within a void of nothingness)

My best to you, and welcome to this site

Ronald

http://dagaz-1.livejournal.com/14203.html


By the way..........I am as chaotic as life is there
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