Why are people masochistic (theory)

[Universal.Vibe]

This is just a theory but please have a gander at it:

So the other day I was just thinking that I have pretty much everything I could ever dream of but there was a sorrow in my heart that cuts really deep.
I found my self craving pain, wishing life was just way harder than it is, sounds like an easy task right? not for me.

and finally it dawned on me that masochism might be wanting pain because it covers up an ever deeper pain.

"Is masochism just an attempt to mask pain with pain?"

I remember reading stuff on the rich and powerful being drawn to masochism the like and I think maybe now I understand, perhaps having nothing much to suffer over just leads to that so called deeper pain I mentioned.


Ps.
This is totally unrelated back story absolutely nothing to do with the theory.

When I say I have everything I meant in a personal sense I still wish for things like world peace and such but in all honesty I cant do anything about those negative things as I am just one person and part of how I got to where I am is basically just cutting everybody out of my life that held me back in anyway because its just way easier to work on your self than relationships with other people. I know somebody might say that is probably what I am lacking in life but that is also something I cannot do anything about because I would never be fake with anybody and if I'm willing to cut people out of my life like that it means that I don't care and so being my self is the best thing I can do for them instead of attempting to force any sort of relationships or anything, In essence care enough about people not to be fake with them.

[Crystal Ambassador]

For me, when I sought self-harm there were a couple reasons. For the actual physical act, it first provided me with what I thought was the only way to silence the conflicting internal dialogue: a "natural" high, in a way, utilizing my body's natural painkiller response. It provided me a moment of peace, and it wasn't until later I realized two other reasons; first and foremost, I felt I needed it because I was a failure. I felt I could be good enough, yet the goal I sought was "better than I am", which made it so I could never actually accomplish it. But, I felt that if I could just try a little more, do a little better, and if I pushed hard enough - like a rider whipping their horse - I could finally reach that goal. And when I kept failing to reach it, I felt that I needed to hurt badly as motivation not to fail again.
And not just that, I felt that by causing physical harm I could finally see the emotional pain, and get a catharsis out of watching it heal, hoping that it would transfer to my emotional wounds. I didn't believe that my non-physical pain was valid. It wasn't until later that I realized what was happening, and not until recently that I realized that while I haven't done anything physically in years, I was still being self-harmful in my mind. I also realized that in many ways, I had adopted the belief that if I was to get anything worthwhile, or gain any life wisdom, I had to suffer. Anything else - anything easy - I believed I hadn't earned. It took many forms directed both inward and out, from putting down those I felt were wealthy "without having worked for it" to subconsciously sabotaging my health believing the only way anyone would care is if they felt obligated to help a sick person.

Others will feel they've done something bad and need to be punished, especially when they adhere to a strict set of rules about inherent, objective good/bad. It can feel cathartic and safer to do it themselves instead of having the shame and risk of someone else doing it. Others feel they need to protect loved ones by sacrificing and scapegoating themselves, or do similar acts as a way to be liked (think of self-deprecating humor and teens who do drugs to fit in). But behind all this, it comes down to a core issue of "I'm not good enough", and expresses as a need to punish that inadequate self, or pretend to be a different person so that when the failure is pointed out it's directed towards an invented character and not the core person underneath. So yes, masochism is opting for an "easier" suffering and a false sense of control as a means to try escaping an even more excruciating pain beneath it; the belief that you aren't good enough, that circumstances are out of your control. It's quite popular right now, and it's good that you're examining it philosophically.

[Universal.Vibe]

Maybe, I don't think self harm was what I was getting at.
Because as you said it's supposed to give some sort of natural high so it's not quite the same as the masochism I was talking about.

I was more thinking just genuine suffering like the wish you were dead kind?

[Crystal Ambassador]

Still the same source problem, just different forms of outlet. Why would someone wish themselves dead if they felt they were good enough for happiness and life?

[Sonolil]

Because you're indomitable if you love pain.
Just pray we don't forget to love peace