Who am I?...

Hi guys,

New here & already come across some lovely people, so nice to let go and be able to finally talk about all these experiences!

For those who might not have read my recent threads, i've been through a lot both in this life and spiritually in my short 24 years of life. The last year or so has been chaos, and I know something is happening, but I have just lost all direction...

Ever since birth, I remember thinking older than my years, and never like the other children. At 3 years old during many years of a life-threatening illness, I had my first brush with near death, was trying to be brought to the light by a Lady, but I refused to go upon hearing my mother's voice.
2 years later I had an OBE with a premonition, that a year later came true. This same Lady had always been with me until me and my family somehow (mysterious ways, hey..) ended up in the place where I saw her in my premonition, and then I wasn't sick anymore. Never saw her again..
Several years later around 11, another occurrance. After spending the day in tears trying to find solace in the local Church, I was walking out and something stopped me. I looked to an old, nice painting to the left of me above a font. I can't remember what it was but it was of a Lady, then a single teardrop fell down from her left eye and into the font below it - I even heard the water droplet, but it was like time was slowing down when it happened. I was terrified and rushed over to look in the font, but nothing there...




Throughout my life since then, I just 'knew' about people. I could meet someone and know all about them. This would happen also in new buildings i'd walk in, and I would pick up vibes really quick. I also picked up on spirit people who had passed, and for many years until this day, I still get spooked all the time - silly I know. All my life too i've been very sensitive, it upsets me seeing how the world is and sometimes I don't even understand my own feelings... if that makes sense? I always want to look to the past aswell, never the future. At university i've studied both health, medicine and psychology so far. Also some Reflexology, and i'm half way to becoming a Mental Health Nurse :)

My mother describes me as a loving Old Soul. But my life so far among having amazing experiences like these, has been tainted with a lot of sadness. There are many experiences that have left me feeling broken, and several times I have just tried to give up before
I guess a lot of you can sympathise with feeling like you're an 'outcast' and it's hard to feel like you always fit in with people today.
P.S - I also keep seeing the number 11 EVERYWHERE, it started 2 years ago. It's driving me crazy as I have no idea what something is trying to tell me. Any ideas on this?




Love to hear from you all and offer some guidance on where I can go rom here?

[CrystalSong]

welcome to the Mystery!
It's all pretty wonderful and amazing isn't it?

[Belle]

Without knowing too much - Old Souls are ones that have had many lives and therefore you can feel things deeply, the more timesi you have an experience the richer it gets and the more powerful. So, sadness is a natural experience I feel for old souls - at least for this old soul! Also, you build up wisdom - along with karma - which resonates very deeply.

Regards to fitting in, perversely the key is not to try to fit in as then you will end up being false. You have to be you, and the first step to that is just getting to know yourself a bit. What about writing a blog or a diary or something of that nature in order to be more familiar and therefore you can find out what makes you tick. Not always easy.

As for the number 11, have a look at the section on signs and synchronicities but in my mind it is a message from the angelic that you are being watched, that you are being taken care of and in those moments, reach out for your lady who stands with you and build a relationship with her. She sounds lovely to have around

Originally Posted by Inquistive_89

My mother describes me as a loving Old Soul. But my life so far among having amazing experiences like these, has been tainted with a lot of sadness. There are many experiences that have left me feeling broken, and several times I have just tried to give up before

I guess a lot of you can sympathise with feeling like you're an 'outcast' and it's hard to feel like you always fit in with people today.

P.S - I also keep seeing the number 11 EVERYWHERE, it started 2 years ago. It's driving me crazy as I have no idea what something is trying to tell me. Any ideas on this?

Love to hear from you all and offer some guidance on where I can go rom here

Well - first, 11 can mean many things but its considered to be the number of the adept in the practice of ceremonial high magick. The adept being a person who has embodied their full consciousness and whose intent and will are harmonious. A person who only does what they mean to do and nothing else - in simple words.

I have a resonance with 11 (as you can tell by my name) although I do not claim to be any adept. It does appear over and over again in my life and in small and big ways. I've always taken it to be one of the synchronicities that I use to guide myself - usually the more often I happen across personal symbols, the clearer my path. I think of it as, if our eternal self is connected to everything than its my eternal self talking to my temporal self through the symbolism of everyday life.

As far as not fitting in or feeling crazy - sure, often. When I was younger it was harder - one of my lessons in this life is the balance of independence and interdependence - and I let it hinder my path and color my view of myself. But, I've learned that the people who are meant to share my world love me for my crazy, encourage and support it, and those who don't aren't of much consequence. And of course I don't go around sharing everything with everyone. Embracing myself as I am and ignoring the pulls of society to be anything else has paid off in the long run. It gets easier to be comfortable in your own skin.

I understand feeling old - I've always felt as if I've been "here" before, several, several times before - since the beginning whatever that means. I also had a very difficult and full youth experiencing so many emotions and interactions it took most of my twenties to process them. I somewhat jest, but I'm also sort of serious. And also, I've been handed some very powerful yet tragic lessons - and I've tried to give up several times in my youth (when I still thought it was an option). But myself never let myself fully give in to that transitory despair.

But - I've always felt deeply - I do not see guides or get impressions of facts - my empathy and sight are difficult to discuss, its a bone deep knowing that comes from a part of me that is without words.

Where to go from here? *smiles* I found by believing that my eternal self is very much present within me and within my day to day experiences my path was made clear. I'd say follow your intuitions, listen to your guides, and remember that in every moment and every person you meet - the divine is speaking to you and giving you directions.

Be well!

Throughout my life since then, I just 'knew' about people. I could meet someone and know all about them.

All my life too i've been very sensitive, it upsets me seeing how the world is and sometimes I don't even understand my own feelings... if that makes sense?

I can totally relate to these feelings, I just posted very similar thoughts and questions myself.
When you say you 'knew' about people do you mean it as in you knew their story, or you just knew their true feelings?

I feel the latter with people, I have always been able to read people, be it their true thoughts, motives, or feelings but I have never had something obvious happen (that I recall) to me to trigger it.
So maybe it was something you always had but had never really paid much attention to before? Maybe it was always there and something or someone just gave you a nudge in the right direction?

I'm not sure, like i said, i have the same questions and I used to wonder if it was all just coincidence but its too accurate too often...

A lot of the time it takes being at your lowest to really find out who you are, embrace it and hopefully time will tell :)