Descention into hell

Originally Posted by Colorado

I honestly think, I know....that if I would have stayed there, I wouldn't have made it. Not everyone is made for that kind of life, and not everybody can bounce back in a joyful act after being humiliated and lied about in public, bullied by dozens of family members over lies, sabotaged, and lives ruined for fun, ECT, ECT, ECT ....I know I wasn't.

Give yourself permission to be well and truly pis-sed and vent your spleen to your heart's content. Get it off your chest and have done with it but don't dwell on it too long, otherwise it'll just fester. When you've done all that ask yourself one question - "What did I gain from all that?"

You're here, you've been through some pretty bad cr-ap so what does that tell you? It tells you that you're strong, it tells you that although you've been to hell you didn't go all to hell. It means that somewhere down the line you'll be able to understand and empathise with people that have had similar experiences on so many levels. It means you're not a victim and that you survived, and perhaps will even thrive either because of or despite your experiences.

Are you coming off that cross now?

[hallow]

Originally Posted by Colorado

This posts is not for light fluffy air workers. This is a true, soul searching story....of ancestoral & demonic descention into hell.

My whole life has been wrought, from the beginning....of death, sickness, abuse, neglect, abandonment, betrayal, infidelity, sabotage, fraud, & lies.

As I've made my way through this world, alone & enemies from every corner & side, husband, son, father, mother, sister & brother...friends, neighbors, far and close....none of which, I can spiritually or humanly understand...other than my love for God, my compassion, forgiveness, and love.... how can a soul, accumulate so many enemies from love? Souls that I live, forgive And hold no judgement for.....hate and despise me so much? What the hell is going on....what has happened? Souls I am not mad at, souls I reach out to, souls that I love, souls that I have compassion for, souls that are my friends & family. How do they hate me....how do they blame, lie, sabotage, slander and betray another soul that has as so much love, compassion, forgiveness, and understanding for....how do they hate such a soul, yet love the very souls that lied, betrayed, sabotaged, and lead them to a descention of hell....how do that not see?

If "everyone" loves you, you're doing something wrong. If "everyone" hates you.... The same. Used to work with a lady, if you looked really hard you could see her heart of gold. But she always wondered why people didn't like her. The reason was she was a very intense person like lighting off firecrackers in the room whenever she was around. Inside she's a good person but it's tough to see through the fireworks constantly. She blamed the world but never saw her own fireworks.

That makes perfect sense,thanks hallow.

Like you can't have you cake and eat it too,without being the whole cake.

[davidsun]

Originally Posted by Colorado

]My whole life has been wrought, from the beginning....of death, sickness, abuse, neglect, abandonment, betrayal, infidelity, sabotage, fraud, & lies.

Hi-Ho Colorado - My possibly but not necessarily pertinent response:

If, because you have felt unduly hurt or deprived, you have fallen into the trap of thinking of yourself as not having enough, you may have adopted defensive strategies that will end up cutting you off from Life, or offensive ones that will embroil you in competition and conflict which, as they escalate in intensity, may totally consume you.

It’s up to you. Whether you creatively flourish and do well or not does not depend on present circumstance, the luck of the draw or how you have been and yet may be treated. In the idiom of his time, the Apostle Paul expressed it well: “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."

The overaching fact is, whether you exercise it wisely or not, you have choice—what happens in the future depends on how you now focus your Life-Force. Therefore, particularly if you find that you are stagnating or falling into a more negative pattern of experience, and certainly if you yourself are becoming less humorous, you should reappraise your attitudes and intentions. As an evolutionary showdown approaches, improving them is imperative.

Stop projecting response-ability outward. Don’t make excuses for yourself. Reject contrary theories and beliefs—you won’t be able to effect change for the better till you look at what goes on right behind your own nose and put it in good working order.

Acknowledge the fact that you are the author of your own frustration and discontent to whatever extent these are part of your experience, either because you desire and attempt what is not contextually fitting, or because you ignore and do not do what is appropriate and most bene*ficial. You are a 'finger' on the 'hand' of Life. Only by choosing to function as an integral aspect of what you are part of can you be efficacious and fulfilled.

[BigJohn]

Originally Posted by Colorado

This posts is not for light fluffy air workers. This is a true, soul searching story....of ancestoral & demonic descention into hell.

My whole life has been wrought, from the beginning....of death, sickness, abuse, neglect, abandonment, betrayal, infidelity, sabotage, fraud, & lies.

As I've made my way through this world, alone & enemies from every corner & side, husband, son, father, mother, sister & brother...friends, neighbors, far and close....none of which, I can spiritually or humanly understand...other than my love for God, my compassion, forgiveness, and love.... how can a soul, accumulate so many enemies from love? Souls that I live, forgive And hold no judgement for.....hate and despise me so much? What the hell is going on....what has happened? Souls I am not mad at, souls I reach out to, souls that I love, souls that I have compassion for, souls that are my friends & family. How do they hate me....how do they blame, lie, sabotage, slander and betray another soul that has as so much love, compassion, forgiveness, and understanding for....how do they hate such a soul, yet love the very souls that lied, betrayed, sabotaged, and lead them to a descention of hell....how do that not see?

Has anybody told you that you are an old soul and are on the verge of awakening to who you really are?

Has anybody told you your life has been a series of serious test? And has anybody told you, how you react to all of these tests will determine if you get to come back and be tested again in these areas?

Has anybody told you can emerge with much to offer?

Originally Posted by Colorado

.....
Souls that I live, forgive And hold no judgement for.....hate and despise me so much? What the hell is going on....what has happened? Souls I am not mad at, souls I reach out to, souls that I love, souls that I have compassion for, souls that are my friends & family. How do they hate me....how do they blame, lie, sabotage, slander and betray another soul that has as so much love, compassion, forgiveness, and understanding for....how do they hate such a soul, yet love the very souls that lied, betrayed, sabotaged, and lead them to a descention of hell....how do that not see?

Hard to say what is going on in your specific case as it is hard to know you from a forum post. But that is how it is sometimes. You don't commit any sins against them, don't lie to them, try and help them when you can, even heal them when the are lame or sick, and yet they end up torturing you and nailing you to a tree anyway. Humans? Sometimes you wonder why God bothers.

[Colorado]

I appreciate all of your responses....I read every one of them. I can see pieces of the truth in all of them. Most of the time, I am okay...just sometimes, Im not. I feel grief, at times....the people I have loved most in this world...are the ones who have hurt me the most. And unfortunately, it was intentional, spiteful & maliciously done. That's just where I come from....as you can see, I obviously don't have a relationship with anyone in my family, besides my sister. She tries to be a good person...she reads her Bible, ECT. She has a hard time coping with them, too. I often get calls, because she is upset with them....and it's usually nothing less than jaw dropping, and shocking.

I've been looking for answers all my life....I do have some abilities, dreams, ECT....I read somewhere that Im an 11 life path. Maybe I am an old soul...I don't know. I still think an old soul needs a decent family, decent parents and friends around.

One thing I am proud of....from my family. The newer generation of kids are very intelligent, honor students...almost all of them, and very spiritual. They are just really great kids...so there's Hope for the future of this blood line...I do see my nieces, nephews, and of course, my two teenage sons who are in college, ECT. Im very happy of the kind of people they are turning out to be. Very mature, spiritual, and kind.

[hallow]

Originally Posted by Colorado

This posts is not for light fluffy air workers. This is a true, soul searching story....of ancestoral & demonic descention into hell.

My whole life has been wrought, from the beginning....of death, sickness, abuse, neglect, abandonment, betrayal, infidelity, sabotage, fraud, & lies.

As I've made my way through this world, alone & enemies from every corner & side, husband, son, father, mother, sister & brother...friends, neighbors, far and close....none of which, I can spiritually or humanly understand...other than my love for God, my compassion, forgiveness, and love.... how can a soul, accumulate so many enemies from love? Souls that I live, forgive And hold no judgement for.....hate and despise me so much? What the hell is going on....what has happened? Souls I am not mad at, souls I reach out to, souls that I love, souls that I have compassion for, souls that are my friends & family. How do they hate me....how do they blame, lie, sabotage, slander and betray another soul that has as so much love, compassion, forgiveness, and understanding for....how do they hate such a soul, yet love the very souls that lied, betrayed, sabotaged, and lead them to a descention of hell....how do that not see?

I found a nice quote and thought of this thread.