Spiritual Warfare

[Uriwhetu]

I can relate to this...after my mother passed away my brother became quite a nightmare and did some incredibly cruel and publicly humiliating things to me. For a long time I was drawn into his drama, I reacted to his triggers and we were virtually at war for about 2 years - it was ugly.
As I developed and grew spiritually I came to understand that through releasing attachment to material things (my mother left me half her land, my brother was bitter he didnt get all of it) was incredibly empowering. I learned to not be drawn into his drama.

He tries still to trigger me, but I'm now in a place that I dont react, and I think that angers him more which is kinda funny to me. I forgive his nastiness, not because what he has done is ok, but so I dont have to carry the burden of the ugly deterioration of this relationship. Forgiveness is empowering. I have rarely spoken to him for about 8 years now, we effectively dont speak at all and I think this is for the best.

Sometimes toxic relationships need to be removed, for your own mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. It makes me sad sometimes as he is my only sibling, but its necessary and I'm much happier for it overall. I think there is a lot of jealousy there for him, because he is in a loveless marriage and has a very sick child while the other is antisocial and awkward, I have done ok for myself in a material sense - so has he though, so it really seems irrelevant from my perspective. He has done things that from a spiritual perspective are dubious (against sacred spaces and objects) and I believe this is the cause of the sickness in his youngest child, though I have never said as much to him. I can feel his resentment no matter the physical distance.

He still takes any opportunity to attack me whenever the opportunity presents itself. He and an aunty both attacked me in January because I chose to reunite with my husband (who they both hate mostly because they are jealous of his capabilities and what he can create) - it was vicious and awful and in front of my kids which was traumatizing for them both. My father who over heard the attack did nothing to defend me or protect his granddaughters and took their side (brother and aunt) which just felt like a huge betrayal considering the were attacking me over things my husband had done, not me myself...so now I am completely estranged from my whole family. Awful, but its about self preservation at this point. Allowing myself to be abused for something they perceive my husband has done is frankly absurd, and allowing myself and my beautiful vibrant daughters to be subjected to this toxicity is just not ok.

For me I believe this has all happened to me as part of my spiritual growth/soul contract, so while it had been exceptionally painful, I have grown immeasurably from the experience. I regret nothing and I forgive myself for the unpleasant things I have said and done in the past (cause guilt and shame serves no one).

I suggest you put some distance between you and any toxic people in your life, even if they are close family. Do what you need to secure a happy life for yourself. I wish you all the best.