Uh, um... I think someone is interested in me.

[little.nation]

I really don't even have to do a thing. The spirit can handle it without me. I've already done the work simply by making the observations and connecting the dots. The spirit can lead those two to see each other. I don't need to say or do anything.

And Hell, why would I? He was used to DOG ME. MASSIVE DISRESPECT, why would I repay such overt spiritual evil with any sort of "help".

What would it say to rudely insult someone and then expect the person you insulted to do you a huge favor in return?

It says SADISM.

He should be there tonight but it's possible that he won't be. If I don't see him tonight, the next night I work is Wednesday. Should see him then if not tonight, and if i don't see him Wednesday it will be Fri / Sat.

I absolutely CANNOT WAIT to see that PUPPET because I guarantee that he will be remarkably different and will NOT be displaying an interest in and attraction to me anymore. He did on Saturday, right up until the end of our shift. You watch, I guarantee it: the next update will detail a change in him.

I had a vision last week, by the way: I was walking into the store while he was leaving. As he was leaving, a woman was with him walking behind him. She was wearing a belly shirt (a tshirt pulled up and tied in a knot in the front to expose her belly).

And, have I mentioned lately how much I DESPISE spirituality (because for me it is pure fire, pure evil and pure Hell).

You know what?

I need to reopen the brothel doors.

[little.nation]

I can't remember if I wrote anywhere around here how I had a strong resistance to taking this job...

I think I did but I don't think I'll find it. It's probably in my "too great the spiritual darkness" thread.

I'll retell it here...

I started working my first job in the middle of May. The hours at that job were 1AM - 5AM or later on the weekends. I wanted a second job, primarily because I have a serious need to be busy. I knew the grocery store job had the hours I was looking to fill (6PM to midnight).

I had a very strong resistance to applying for that job but I applied for it anyway because I knew I would be hired and I was (and still am) enduring extreme pressure and urgency.

((I am SOOOO tired of being spiritually invaded...))

When I went for the interview he went to hire me on the spot but encountered a system message that said "do not hire"

DO NOT HIRE

but he was desperate and needed the help so he said he would override it and hire me anyway. He had me come back the next day to finish the hiring and onboarding.

Then, I started work two weeks ago on Tuesday, June 4.

Mr PUPPET would-be lover boy immediately took an interest in me. He was overtly attracted to me and I was FOOLED AGAIN.

Real real tired of being made a fool and being made to feel ugly and like garbage. But that's exactly what they (they, spiritual handlers and puppet masters) achieved AGAIN.

THEY NEVER STOP (and God never stops them).

Do you think GOD put the DO NOT HIRE message there?

by the way, it rained yesterday. Rain is poison to me.

In the past two days, my face has been defaced.

I do not know what face i will be wearing when I get there tonight. I DO know there will for absolutely certain and without a doubt be a FULL ORCHESTRATION.

Sooo many of you here at spiritual forums have been absolutely wonderful to me and I want you to know i APPRECIATE IT (tears in my eyes).

God said IDOL WORSHIPERS burn in the lake of fire.

I live in a town with a biblical name that means a holy place and it also means house of idolatry.

Consider me guilty as Hell. My idol worship of Metallica is not wrong. Nope nope nope nope nope!!!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8qrwON1-zE

[little.nation]

It has been seeded in my mind that with all this FIRE and burning that I am to expect to go in there tonight and be FIRED

For what, no reason. It would simply be a matter of spiritual manipulation and orchestration.

One seed came last week when a team leader glared at me and used language that was provoking. We were talking about shopping orders when she said something about "kicking me out" of an order if it was too much for a newbie in training, some reason like that.

So, being fired is seeded in my mind and it's what comes up for me as I contemplate what to expect tonight.

Oh yeah. And the spiritual sorcerer(s) / handler(s) / puppet master(s) who flashes visions into my violated and invaded temple (mind) keeps showing me images of being arrested, but it threatens me like this constantly. This is nothing new. They threaten and terrorize me constantly. And God is in control LOL! They get their power and control from Him.

Mind control and mind police.

[little.nation]

Really sucks to be so hostile.

Really sucks to be so invaded and possessed.

Really sucks to be so controlled.

Really sucks to be a slave.

Really sucks to be NOT FREE.

[little.nation]

Oh yeah, and I gotta tell you another thing ... another observation I made.

Did I tell you before that my birthday is a holy day, and that it is the 4th JOYFUL mystery of the holy rosary?

I RARELY ever think about the times in my life when FEW people who upon seeing me are JUBILANT and REJOICEFUL and have beautiful STARS IN THEIR EYES and I see LOVE...

So I happened to think about this yesterday as I waz examining the people I've been around.

I have seen red. I have seen pain. I have been harassed. I have been mocked. I have been ridiculed.

Yet I have also seen THE GOOD PEOPLE. I have seen LOVE. I have seen GOOD.

I have also seen sad...

I will update tonight.

[little.nation]

Wooooow wow - mind blown!!

Called uber. He arrives playing Queen, we will rock you (followed by we are the champions)...

I get in. He says how are you. I said I don't know. We start talking and I say "i don't know how I am, maybe I'm about to get rocked"

Haaaahahhahahahahaha YUP!

He's a guitarist in a band and played me one of their songs (one of my favorite genres, post rock). It was awesome, really good song!

Yup, i was totally rocked. Haha!!

I blabbed about spirit and music and god and idolatry. He caught a spark. Oops.

Gave him my number so he could hook me up with his band's music. I wrote him a list of Mogwai songs and Jakob Gattaca (fantastic song). We hit it off talking about Explosions In The Sky ...

Anyway, at work now and will update later.

I'm being blasted by a strong burst of sunlight.... Tone it down, sun!!

Dammit. A nurse in scrubs just walked by and looked at me and smiled. While the sun again cranks volume on heat and brightness. Another reminder of my medical emergency part of the nightmare story... Sigh.

Not tonight.

[little.nation]

On a break. Lots of details. And turbulence. And toxic atmosphere (consciousness atmosphere, I'm referring to). Definite fire. Tension.

Looks like this is just the way it is. And to be expected during the end times.

[little.nation]

Time for a 2 hour walk home with a very sore foot.

[little.nation]

I walked about halfway then took uber. I'm in pain.

Too much to talk about. Lots of trigger pullers.

Saturday night I heard a song on the radio: it takes two to make a thing go right, it takes two to make it out of sight.

It caught my attention because it was a current day remake of an old song.

He was not there tonight. Neither was she. The song popped into my head while I was at work. They were out of sight.

Rolls eyes

Then it occurred to me that I will not be there tomorrow but the both of them probably will be. I expect they will see each other and whatever spirit at work in the world will make it happen.

Triggers

Too many to mention. Too tired to be going through this constantly. Merciless.

Mgr said he crossed me off the schedule tonight because he thought I wasn't supposed to be working on Mondays. He didn't make the schedule, he said. I explained that it was okay because I don't have the other job anymore. He gave me a shirt and a hat (I left my shirt at home) and after I came back upstairs from using the restroom, I walked into the break room where he and a couple others were talking. I didn't hear the context but the moment I walked in he said in a sort of guttural tone, "garbage".

It was provoking and disturbing. I don't know what they were talking about but it does not matter. What matters is what I hear and how it effects me.

It's like I'm living in a Truman Show world and it is EXTREMELY Hellish.

Garbage. I applied it: is Chris garbage? We all KNOW that I am, right? How rude.

Rude, and deranged.

Anyway, the chatter all night. I hate the chatter. They gossip and it's one Hell of an evil thing to do to gossip about somebody when they're within earshot. It's an act of cowardice which is one of the ways one inherits the lake of fire. I burn in Hell constantly because of others. Gossip about me and guess what? You're not burning yourself in Hell. You're burning ME in Hell.

The chatter is a problem for me. I sometimes try to ignore it. I sometimes inject myself into the chatter when it's particularly provoking.

Woman (who doesn't like me, surprised?): "She died. They cremated her."

Man (who doesn't like Jesus and proclaims he's going to Hell): "...taking it to a dark place..."

Me (grossly mercilessly tortured in Hell): "I can take it darker..."

See, this whole thing right here that I'm doing is so perverted and all wrong. I'm exploited. I'm forced to turn to the public because I'm lifeless, isolated and alone. My family was ripped apart over a decade ago and I've been loveless and lifeless ever since. Isolation is an extreme cruelty.

I don't want to keep going through this. I'm overtired of the situation I'm trapped in. I don't want to keep being forced to do the exact opposite of what I need and want (this public broadcasting of my non-life endless crisis). This is hurting me probably a bit more so than it is helping to support me.

He implored me to take it darker and so I began to until the one who doesn't like me shut me down. I wasn't overspeaking but I took it to the level in a straight shot.

I said "I live in a tomb" and that got a rise of near chastisement. "A TOMB?" I said "it's a metaphor, just a metaphor" but I had also spoke very quickly about the saints (how they're thrown into Hell and are tortured and murdered and martyred, some of them). At this juncture one of the men said "stop talking about me behind my back!" but I didn't get to respond (that's apparently what this space is for, groan). Maybe he is a saint, I wouldn't be surprised.

The chatter went back to the tomb so I said "it's also a glass coffin" to which the woman shut down the chatter with a loud, come on sort of "OOOKAAAAY".

Won't bother mentioning the other triggers but will bring it back into focus on this ridiculous new crisis.

The Chris Crisis.

That's extremely adverse, right? If you're looking for a partner and a relationship it shouldn't start off as A CRISIS.

This is absolutely ridiculous and cruel and I cannot stress enough how unacceptable and intolerable IT ALL IS.

Ever play a game of mercy? You know, pain is afflicted until you cry mercy.

Life is playing one Hell of a sick game with my football of a life. The game is MERCILESSLY NO MERCY.

It's real.

I can't do spirituality anymore. I can't do religion anymore. I can't SUFFER anymore.

I'm going to finish this update with the memorable songs I heard tonight and then will update again after the next time I go to work, see him and find out what happens.

Can you feel the rhythm burning... https://youtu.be/2ifpuJK0mUA

I was born to love you...https://youtu.be/47BBhf9azX4

[little.nation]

Went to work last night (it's currently Thursday 3:42AM). At the end of my shift instead of coming here to post an update I called a suicide hotline instead. 30 minute call.