What would happen when the children will go into the afterlife, will they meet their bad abusive parents there, or anyone that harmed or would harm them? Would the parents or anyone else still be angry, rough, bad and abusive?
I do think that physical death solves or resolves nothing in and of itself...it's forever on us to bring awareness into every moment and take ownership in every moment. Whether now or after physical death, it's what we bring to our eternal consciousness in every moment.
So the real question is always, what do you do right now? In this moment.
Forgiveness is good. Deeper reconciliation is always best but requires all parties to engage and take ownership. It's not even steven. In any given situation or relationship, you may need to do the lion's share of the repenting and making amends and to truly and actively seek and support their highest good...and then they (one or more others) need to be able to open to forgiveness when they are healed and ready to do so. Or vice-versa. This process in itself may take lifetimes, it all depends. Nothing can be forced or manipulated -- that is deeply misaligned.
All you can do is own your own behaviour and as much as possible, be and do from centre with authentic love (lovingkindness and equanimity), seeking the highest good of the other(s) equally to the self...AND the highest good of the self equally to others.
I don't think there is anything to be achieved, ultimately, other than right-alignment with Spirit in authentic love. There is IMO no justification for the misalignment behind the vast proportion of being and doing that is not right-aligned with Spirit and is not authentic love or authentically loving. There's just a bunch of hopes, dreams, thoughts, and theories as to why it occurs which, IMO, basically amount to...because misalignment. There is IMO no excuse, reason, or rationale for being and doing misalignment. Having it done to you is no reason, justification, or excuse to perpetrate it onto others. Following orders/dogma/authority or going along with society's rules or norms is no excuse to perpetrate misalignment onto others. Etc.
IMO tit-for-tat (whether now or in some other life) doesn't work to progress us or elevate us, and it never has. What did most of us learn on the receiving end of violence or harm except, as we already knew, that it's bad. Darkness does not conquer (or transform or transmute or transcend) darkness, only light. Hatred does not conquer hatred, only light. Misalignment does not conquer misalignment...only authentic love, only right-alignment in Spirit, can do that.
, we have to begin taking ownership for our own actions. Once the smallest amount of maturity, decency, awareness, and ownership dawns, then we realise this at the most foundational level. That we are each responsible for the love we give...or, the hate we give. Or the violence, cruelty, deception, exploitation, or manipulation we give.
, IMO it's not our place to excuse or justify the cruelty or hate or violence we have received. It's our place simply to acknowledge and own that it happened, that it was misaligned, and that it is not something we want to be and do going forward. Likewise, it's on us to own the same, with full acknowledgement, when we have perpetrated misaligned behaviour onto others. For those harms we give, we need to work on healing ...to seek to own it, to make amends, and to stop the behaviour going forward -- to be and do differently, with greater right alignment. It is up to others how or when they are ready to receive our offer of amends, and it may or may not happen in any one lifetime.
Likewise, for those harms we receive, we need to care for and look after our own healing and to forgive as deeply as we are able whenever we are able. If possible and if it's safe, it is deeply transformational spiritually to be open to those who come to sincerely make amends -- with sincere contrition and repentance (acknowledging the wrong done, turning away from the behaviour), who actively seek a spiritual reconciliation here and now.
However, if this is not yet possible or safe for you, and you work on healing and mourning regarding those who have harmed you apart from them, that's ok too. Many of these things have accrued over lifetimes. As such, others cannot force a reconciliation upon you simply by repenting and seeking to make amends. However, if you are able to safely make contact and receive a genuine offer of reconciliation, it is among the most deeply transformative spiritual experiences of any and all lifetimes -- not to be missed in any lifetime, ideally.
Likewise, on the other hand, if the other is not offering this remorse, repentance, amends, and a sincere attempt at reconciliation, then this consciously chosen mutual engagement for the purpose of reconciliation and spiritual healing is not possible -- and thus it is a moot point. Your 1-sided forgiveness from afar is all you can offer -- when you are ready and able. And it is as much for the universe and the tapestry in general (offering prayers on behalf of the highest good for all sentient beings)...as it is for yourself (the freedom of letting go of wrongs done to you which the other(s) have not yet owned). Because until these others come to the place of full acceptance and ownership -- which immediately leads to a strong desire for alignment with centre....for true repentance and true amends...then they're not there yet (and will likely continue to act in deeply misaligned ways, often with little or no remorse) and that's their journey, their row to hoe. You cannot force them or will them to be where they are not...and too often, where they are actively fighting not to take ownership, and not to live in awareness. Having being awakened to these deeper realities, you meanwhile have your own journey and your own row to hoe.
In sum, on the third point
, I strongly advocate for reconciliation and foundational, transformative spiritual healing wherever possible -- and I feel true reconciliation is worth offering as many times as you are able to do so -- equally, that forgiveness is worth offering as many times as you are able. But, if you have forgiven and you cannot reconcile as it requires all parties to engage -- then do simply send prayers and blessings for their highest good and go forward on your journey in right alignment, without justifying or excusing any of their (or your) misaligned behaviour.
Peace & blessings