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questioning my mediumship
Hey everyone
I recently became certified as a medium and spiritual advisor...and in talking with the others who have also become certified, I keep hearing everyone talking about how before they learned how to control their gifts they were constantly being bombarded by either "seeing" or "hearing" things and it had gotten tot he point where it was driving them crazy. Then they found a community of psychic mediums and they were able to learn to control their gifts and so now they can "turn them on" at will...
I however don't have any stories like that. When I walk into a room I don't feel the energy in the room...I don't "hear" or "see" things at random...I never have...well except once when I was 4 I saw my aunt who had passed on in the light fixture of my bedroom...but nothing since then...however during my certification, and in doing readings on people I am able to successfully complete a reading...however, because I have never experienced what everyone else has...I am starting to doubt my skills as a medium.
When everyone is talking about how they always felt like they never belonged...and that their gifts feel like more of a curse because of it...I have ALWAYS wished that I had those gifts. To me they are special, but I don't feel like I have them and it drives me nuts cuz I want them so badly!!!
I want to feel the energy when I walk into a room, I want to hear things randomly and see things that make me question...but yet...I don't...could it be I am trying too hard? Have I been fooling myself in thinking that I could just become a medium?
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