Tf with alot of ego?

[Marie]

How do you deal with a tf that have alot of ego, while your own is small?

[psychegrl]

So, my interpretation of your question is, "how did I get into my power and not let others overrun me?" If that was not your question please let me know.

My understanding of the ego has evolved over the years. The most closely aligned explanation is that we have two parts to an ego or identity. One is connected to how we develop understanding, knowledge, and expectations from the experiences we've had throughout our life. This is the space where attachments and fear-based reactions come out.

The other part of what we might call our ego/identity is the Soul connection or higher self information that comes through our connection to God/whatever you want to believe in.

This has been demonstrated many times, most famously by the devil on one shoulder angel on the other.

We have been trained to fall into a certain lifestyle that was taught to be the most acceptable. When we do as we are told we are rewarded in some way. When we break out from these chains we are shown a lot of examples of how our actions are not pleasing others. This comes across to shame, fear, and anger.

Most of us are taught to not listen to our heart because that interferes with the learned mindsets and understanding of what is supposed to be the rightway. In essence this is all about control, either your control or theirs over you.

I've spent years studying this subject because I felt that I was too weak to be anyone of importance and that didn't sit well with me. I had to be more than just this experience I was having!

I believe that the Twin Flame experience is brought to us specifically to awaken our power within us. It's about learning to love ourselves and cutting people off who are not respecting us as we respect them. That is the biggest less than mine has taught me and I'm eternally grateful.

If anyone is overpowering you or making you feel less than, that is a red flag and something you need to address with them. Regardless of who they are...

This is a long answer and may not be what you were hoping for. Lol

Like with any advice, take what you can and disregard the rest. Trust yourself to know what is needed and what isn't. Some of the best advice triggered me in a big way then made me realize that there is something for me to look at.

Lots of love and you're worth it!

Psyche ♡

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by psychegrl

So, my interpretation of your question is, "how did I get into my power and not let others overrun me?" If that was not your question please let me know.

My understanding of the ego has evolved over the years. The most closely aligned explanation is that we have two parts to an ego or identity. One is connected to how we develop understanding, knowledge, and expectations from the experiences we've had throughout our life. This is the space where attachments and fear-based reactions come out.

The other part of what we might call our ego/identity is the Soul connection or higher self information that comes through our connection to God/whatever you want to believe in.

This has been demonstrated many times, most famously by the devil on one shoulder angel on the other.

We have been trained to fall into a certain lifestyle that was taught to be the most acceptable. When we do as we are told we are rewarded in some way. When we break out from these chains we are shown a lot of examples of how our actions are not pleasing others. This comes across to shame, fear, and anger.

Most of us are taught to not listen to our heart because that interferes with the learned mindsets and understanding of what is supposed to be the rightway. In essence this is all about control, either your control or theirs over you.

I've spent years studying this subject because I felt that I was too weak to be anyone of importance and that didn't sit well with me. I had to be more than just this experience I was having!

I believe that the Twin Flame experience is brought to us specifically to awaken our power within us. It's about learning to love ourselves and cutting people off who are not respecting us as we respect them. That is the biggest less than mine has taught me and I'm eternally grateful.

If anyone is overpowering you or making you feel less than, that is a red flag and something you need to address with them. Regardless of who they are...

This is a long answer and may not be what you were hoping for. Lol

Like with any advice, take what you can and disregard the rest. Trust yourself to know what is needed and what isn't. Some of the best advice triggered me in a big way then made me realize that there is something for me to look at.

Lots of love and you're worth it!

Psyche ♡

Thanks for the explanation. I actually work for a psychologist and have trouble understanding the ego. This was a good explanation.

[psychegrl]

@ssdm1 Thanks!

At first I spent time trying to understand ego, it's the root of all evil right? Then I put a lot of effort into trying to get rid of it. 2 weeks of hell!

That didn't work so I started to realize that the thing I was afraid of inside me was not the demon I thought it was. Just my shame, fear, anger, Etc wrapped up in one monster and I was it's reactive slave.

So I decided to fight it, cuz I'm a strong woman! That worked a bit but I was always having to fight. This still didn't feel right. Next I tried to understand why and where it came from; which was closer. A lot of time was spent here...

THEN I was told about the ideas of the ego/identity being twofold as I explained already. And instead of looking at the darkness within as something to eradicate or fight but as some desires that went awry that I attached a bunch of shame and guilt to it.

Now that I know that I am an eternal being that is deserving love and kindness, I can (mostly) see these shameful actions and not beat myself up therefore my ego is not triggered to protect me.

In fact, I love my ego and am grateful for all the care it has done. But those are old lessons and I'm more interested in the new ones I can grow with.

♡

[psychegrl]

In my view, to understand the ego is to understand the desires that control you. Once you have a handle on that, you can make some decisions about how comfortable you are with these self beliefs and then you can decide that they hold no power and they start to disappear.

Originally Posted by psychegrl

In my view, to understand the ego is to understand the desires that control you. Once you have a handle on that, you can make some decisions about how comfortable you are with these self beliefs and then you can decide that they hold no power and they start to disappear.

Dead right. Was having a discussion elsewhere here re Freud's idea that our outward behaviour (ego I suppose) is symbolic communication of basic drives (which he seemed to believe are biological). A lot of his work was relating the symbols to those drives. It was disputed by Jung hence their separation as a co-workers but Freud still had the basics right. As you say, if you can understand those relationships you understand your behaviour.

I question the o/p in describing her ego as small against someone's that was more assertive. I took this as an interpretation. Possibly she meant she was more timid or inward-looking. Ego is just one's persona (the way those behaviours emerge) in response to a given situation. Jung saw it more like playing roles. Ego is what differentiates each of us from another. Without it one has no identity!

[psychegrl]

@Lorelyen- I've read a bit on both Freud and Jung and I can't say that either is 'right' but had an understanding that worked for them.

Freud's theory work for him because it was based off of what he was seeing in human nature. Jung's theory was more about being connected and falling into certain patterns within learned behavior but keeping in the idea that we were getting influence from something other than other people and experiences. (Less control)

Both have problems but it was something solid to understand. And that was their downfall. When you prescribed to a certain school of thought, it's hard to add information that does not align with that school. Somewhere in the middle is a good start for me but it goes so much beyond.

I completely believe that we can exist without an ego and that it will need to be shed at the time of our ascension as it keeps us tethered to this existence. The further we go into the future, the more unconditional love will replace the reaction of ego. Without fear of disconnection, ego has no purpose.