how to deal with negative emotions?

[lemex]

I just had a thought about all forms of negativity seen in the light. What about the higher self here.

I want to talk about the higher self as a different energy versus the lower self. You know I realized some thing I look for when in a negative emotion (what we call negative) that if I could put it into words and talk to the energy itself is it's the feeling based on the concept of how I would like to be treated, what I want. What is it I am (trying) saying that I am opening to. This is just a feeling. It therefore is (based on) a desire. Energy in the mind operates much like a dream we don't understand and like dreams can't control unless it is lucid to us. Though I don't think energy (electrical impulse) is a field, it must be unique in its own way. And once I said this in my mind, it's interesting we talk about the way. Do areas of the brain link being open to fields, closed to others. Anger then will only be attuned to the way of that path.

[SaturninePluto]

The way in which I deal with negative emotions on a daily basis is simple enough though not always easy to put into action.

Grief/sadness- I allow myself this, and my time alone to deal with this. I tend to feel it and move on. I do not move on to repress- I move on simply because I must. I also show gratefulness for what I do have.

Anger- I tend to try and channel it- Most often via creativity if I can. If I get angry at someone else as I will freely admit doing as it is human and a human feeling- I just get angry I am not always present with them in the same room with them- This allows me to ponder why I am angry. I usually come to the understanding it is myself and not them. Or it is them but I do not have to react to them. I can separate myself periodically from them- go to another room, and do something else. I am also capable of going for a walk, or exercising. I am also capable of a nap or sleep. I often times with negative emotions, be it depression or anger or what have you, that I feel tremendously better after I have slept. Nightmare or not, it is therapeutic for me. I find often when I sleep and awaken I don't really feel angry anymore or also I do not know why I ever became so angry in the first place. And then I come to the understanding and without judgment of myself that I was indeed being foolish.

Depression- As stated above, creativity, exercise, rest, sleep, gaining or an attempt to gain perspective, and especially and my favorite comedy. I laugh. Laughter has healing properties. I watch or listen to something funny. I joke often when angry or depressed. I find I am often capable of cheering myself up/ helping myself laugh, even if others wouldn't consider anything I said funny or even understand why I am laughing in the first place. I do it for my own sanity and sanity's sake, they don't have to laugh with me. So if I am seen with a slight smile on my face, or worst case scenario laughing manically out loud (possibly mistakenly) and on my way or mayhaps about on my way to the funny farm, that is probably why.

There are indeed ways of coping with these emotions in a sane rational and healthy manner. They are often called coping mechanisms. As that is pretty much what they are.

But I suppose we could call them-ways to keep me from going completely insane and lashing out in a manner which is not healthy for myself and others-
But that is kinda long.

Coping mechanisms, and perspective. Taking a seemingly negative feeling, thought, or circumstance and manifesting it for ourselves in a real positive and helpful way.

Manifesting our realms and world, human world, in a real life down to earth positive way that takes the dark and transforms it into light. Truly, and with intent, by sheer will.

Hope I find you well, and have been of service.
Respectfully.

Me.

[Visitor]

My words in blue.

Originally Posted by light25

How do I deal with negative emotions?

Say.. I'm upset because my partner didn't do what she was suppose to do. And I get angry. How do I not take it out on her?
Everybody is free to do what they want. We are all responsible for our own thoughts and actions. Nobody has the right to govern another person.

How do I express my negative emotion so that I don't harm others?
Realize that anger, or any other negative emotion, is a response to fear.
Realize you are only afraid, in this case, of things not going your way.
Say as calm as possible, to your partner, that you feel scared. Don't let pride stop you from being honest. Pride keeps a person deluded.

How do I move past that?
Ask yourself what you are afraid of. Most of our fears are unfounded and not really important. Realize that it is okay to have things not going your way. Be flexible, calm and soft to change and the unknown. It takes practice (faith in action).

And if I don't express my negative emotions, wouldn't that be just suffering in silence? bottling it up..
Only if you refuse to see what you are afraid of. Or unwilling to be exposed and vulnerable to your partner. Again it takes practice.
By facing your fears the truth reveals how to deal with it.
Remember, only our ego fears the truth. The truth does not hurt, it is just our ego squirming away from the truth that causes suffering.

[Starman]

Originally Posted by lemex From Post #10

Wanted to talk more so about the mechanism as it applies to the discussion of just family. The same rules of anger apply to everything, so in this light then why do we treat family different. Is this a myth? How come I treat the family whom I love different then I do strangers (what I call others). It's true no one can make you angry, but then why am I getting angry, it's clear anger is an emotion therefore instinctual (biochemical) and learned. Anger is not artificial, it's energy.

People often have a "magical" relationship with their family; the expectations are different for family than they are for strangers. Most little kids look up to their parents in a magical way and this often carries over into adulthood and is transferred on to the family which those kids may later have in their adulthood.

Realize to anger is expressed differently depending of the situation. How anger is expressed is situational. There is an old adage, we're nicer to strangers then family. For instance, yell at the boss and that gets you fired, that's the consequence. One can therefore learn to control it.

Yes this is true but the love most people have for their family is also different than the love we may have for a stranger. Again, expectations; no one can hurt us like someone who is close to us and family can hurt us in ways that strangers can not; we feel the pain from family more.

Some good advice given, but I'd include mediation and train the mind not in reaction, but acting. Another thing to, remembering the feeling (experience) of the energy. I use to like the feeling of the driving force and power in it. I mention this because when I decided to quit the anger game I found I was aware of the missing energy. It was observable. That's all that anger is, biochemical in nature. Energy you release that cloud the mind. Become mindful, be aware you are in anger, not angry, but in something. This takes practice. But observe what you accomplish with anger, nothing much.

Anger may be biochemical, it may be learned behavior, or it may be value based, societal based, dealing with preconceived gender roles, etc. Although there are legitimate times when a person should be angry and it is healthy for them to be angry at those times.

Here's an example from my own experience so you tell me if it's worth it. I am at work and I get very mad. I think I'm being treated wrong somehow.

I then argue and the emotion cascaded and builds until the energy becomes so strong I lose myself, where I am at, my surroundings, people, everything only the present feeling and I get so mad, I say I quit, walking off the job, not to punish myself but them. I gained satisfaction in the millisecond of a decision. In that instant nothing else mattered, yet 10 seconds later said what have I done. It is important to remember anger fades and the brain is made to forget. Perspective changes in an moment but we made decision based on temporary moments. Now's can be a mere moment. There's a lot going on with anger, isn't there. I don't think one can force themselves not to be angry which the thing shortcuts don't resolve. I suddenly realize we're talking about realization or awakening.

Yes, being aware of red flags is what I was sharing and that requires an awakening to your own patterns of behavior. Anger, in my opinion, is not the issue rather what we do with our anger is the issue. A lot of people are afraid of anger in others because they don't know what that angry person is going to do towards them.

Then there are people who are passive-aggressive because they do not know how to effectively express their anger. People who do not know how to safely express their anger usually hold it in and become doormats for other people who will walk all over them, making them even more angry. So being passive is one thing but I think it is also healthy to be assertive when necessary. People usually get angry because they have been ineffective in communicating in other less aggressive ways.

A model of patho-genisus regarding anger might be an unmet need, if left unmet long enough becomes painful, and pain untreated can turn into rage and anger, which then becomes a behavior problem. But the issue becomes confused between what is an "unmet need" and an "unmet want." People confuse wants and needs and they become angry over what they want as though it was what they need. In our instant gratification society a lot of people want everything on demand; this may generate a lot of anger in them.

[light25]

thank you!

so much insight, i am so inspired right now.

Me personally, I think negative emotions always has a cartein layer underneath which we should seek to comprehend. We reveal that layer to our conciousness and then it cannot hurt us anymore. that will also take of the edge from those emotions.

and what we need to express or show others is our hurt/fear that lie underneath those emotions. that's what we should be communicating.

much love.

[hovhannes]

Originally Posted by light25

And if I don't express my negative emotions, wouldn't that be just suffering in silence? bottling it up..

Right! If you feel angry, restraining it or expressing it will not cause the source of the anger to disappear. A more valuable insight might come from trying to see the source of your dissatisfaction with the moment or situation as it unfolds.

[ajay00]

Originally Posted by light25

How do I deal with negative emotions?

Say.. I'm upset because my partner didn't do what she was suppose to do. And I get angry. How do I not take it out on her?
How do I express my negative emotion so that I don't harm others?
How do I move past that?

And if I don't express my negative emotions, wouldn't that be just suffering in silence? bottling it up..

Every emotion creates a corresponding sensation in the physical body. It is hard to be aware of your emotions, but it is easier to be aware of the corresponding sensations in the body.

By being watchful of the physical sensations, it will help to dilute the intensity of the emotions and become aware of them. Awareness helps one to tide over the influence of destructive emotions .

Practices like vipassana meditation helps one to develop this skill.