Loss of soulmate at young age

[Kensei]

Dear all,

My story is no easy one to tell, and not sure where to begin - where my questions end. There is so much going through me these days and I am in turmoil for what happened. Here is the short version, and who knows if your really interested and can help - guide me we can talk more.

A couple of weeks ago I lost the girl that was in my eyes not just my girlfriend, but also my soulmate. We where like two puzzle pieces that connected (How cliche that might sound) and that lifted each other op to higher places, personal growth and of course also had a lot fun together. Sure there where at times arguments or a discussion, but we always rose stronger together from these.

We had a serious car accident a couple of weeks ago and while I made it out alive with barely a scratch. She had lost her life and is not with me or this world anymore in the physical sense.

This hurts my spirit very much, and however the support of family and friends is astounding. There are times I just don`t understand anything anymore of this world - life. It feels so very unfair at young age, how I lived and she had to go, why could the accident not take us both - or let us share the trauma and do some re validation together.It seems a terrible cruel fate and it has destroyed part of me and the hurt-loss is huge around the ones near to her. Proud of how we all are talking and supporting each other, but this does not bring her back.

The week after the accident there was also certain `signs` which I can believe could have been her?

Signs:
-In the hospital my heartbeat showed a strange rhythm (later the doctor said, medically they cannot explain this)
-A flickering of the light when talking about her with my father (it has never done that before)
-A fire alarm that goes off (like the battery was empty) when we return home from a visit to her parents. *strange thing was that it stopped later on it`s own, this normally does`t stop till you put in a new battery. The strange story is that during one of our first dates, I burned something in the oven which made all those alarms go off.
-A mobile phone that randomly fell from sitting on top of the laptop (it did not vibrate and seemed to be laying just stable)
-A strange sensation at times that makes me go cold over my back-shoulders-arms, not unpleasant but just strange like she was there.

And a couple more I heard from friends - family, but won`t share everything since this post is already very long.

But after the funeral there have not been those clear signs anymore and I feel her presence less around us down here. This makes me happy for this could mean she moved on to a better place. At the same time it makes me incredible sad for this mean she might have moved on `without me, without us` and I always promised to keep her safe and to stick by her side. She was going to be my girl, and I was her man.

Now I notice myself researching many places to find more information about the afterlife, souls and how we are connected to the ones we love. I just think a safe-place is needed to do this research. And hope to find that place here and that there are people who can relate- understand and help me find certain answers. And possible guide me to become more in touch with the spiritual side of things.

Direct questions that I hope to find answers for over the course of time:

-How is she doing (what is going on) and where is my girl now?
-Will she be my Love- soulmate on the other side or how does this work?
-How can I communicate with her from this situation, if that is possible?
(I at times talk to her in my room and that feels nice, somethings I swear feel part of her around me. But then again, it is so frustrating for both of us.. when she can`t communicate back directly - or am I just losing my sanity)
-How do I hold on to this Life on earth, when my body feels like a cage keeping me from dancing with the one I love ?

[Native spirit]

To loose anyone that you consider a soul mate is not easy at any age you feel angry lost etc that is normal its all part of the grieving process,
the signs you received where from your other half,she will always be around you,just speak to her she can hear you


Namaste

[Kensei]

Thank you Native, I will try and learn to be more open for communication from her and to speak with her. If there are tips on how to do this? I appreciate it. Also if more people have input on my questions, it is always welcome.

[TheGlow]

I have no useful info but I am very sorry for your loss. I hope others here will be able to help.

Welcome to spiritual forums.

[HMyBodhisattva]

First. I am so very sorry for your loss. :( Not only are you dealing with all of those emotions, you're also physically still healing I'm sure. I lost my H in March, and have been grieving as well. It's a rough journey. It isn't something you'll get over, you'll learn how to work through it though and find your new normal. This is the most difficult thing I've ever been through. You've come to a good place though for your journey. Hopefully you can get more specific answers to your questions. I can only speak from my experience that I think what you've listed as signs from her most likely are. I've experienced so many synchronicities and anomalies since H's death (even before actually). His family has also been experiencing similar phenomena. It's pretty amazing. I think they're always around us. I started reading to try and ease my mind about the afterlife etc. These books have been so important in my journey so far:

Only Love is Real - Brian Weiss
http://www.brianweiss.com/about-the-...-real-excerpt/

The Reluctant Psychic - Suzan Saxman
http://suzansaxman.com/the-reluctant-psychic/

The Hand on the Mirror - Janis Heaphy Durham
http://thehandonthemirror.org/

Biocentrism - Robert Lanza
http://www.robertlanza.com/biocentri...-the-universe/

And these are two that I'm currently reading:

Dying to Be Me - Anita Moorjani
http://www.anitamoorjani.com/books/

Finding Peter - William Peter Blatty
http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Peter-.../dp/162157332X

I would also suggest writing. Write about her, write letters to her if you want, write down anything that you think might be a sign from her. :)

I personally talk to H out loud everyday. In Suzan's book she says they like to hear the vibration of their names... so I tell him I love and miss him everyday. If you get answers from her in your head, don't assume it's just your own inner voice answering. It's probably her.

I'll write more later.

[Kensei]

Thank you for your wisdom, sorry for your loss as well. It sure is very difficult to live without that special someone in your `Physical` Life.

I agree that the signs must have been signs from her, there where just so much leading up to the funeral. It makes me sad, that these signs seem to have passed? Perhaps it is also a good thing and it means her spirit is not looming around earth but is in the right place. I do swear, I can feel her presence at times and feel her trying to communicate with me. It just is a language that I am learning, because our `human` mind seems to block it.

Gonna check into those books you mentioned. Also like the idea of writing to her, got myself a little journal for this today.

I am always grateful for more insights, tips and advice if there is?

[HMyBodhisattva]

Excellent. Writing has helped me for sure. Make sure you keep tracks of any dreams too. If you can still feel her and she's trying to communicate, these are still "signs". Sometimes they come in waves, and then might slow down for a bit. Nothing to worry about. I don't believe they ever really leave us and are probably always checking in. It's my belief they can really be anywhere at once, so they don't have to be on "our side" of the spirit realm or the other, they can be everywhere at once. I was told, "You don't have to learn to live without him, you just have to learn how to live with him in this new form." So true. As humans we want that physical form, we miss it, and it's very hard some days. I do my best to try and not get down, and put negative energy out, I am human though and the grief and sadness does show up. I also send love to him as much as I can. These spirits go through a lot of work to show us signs and let us know things are Ok. It's our job to learn how to listen. :) Reading, writing, searching, learning, these are the things that are helping me.