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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Spiritual Development

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  #51  
Old 24-10-2017, 08:32 PM
Kerubiel Kerubiel is offline
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Originally Posted by Greenslade
But are you in Love with Love itself or just the romantic notion of it? And when the romantics are all gone and the relationship 'gets real', what then?

Why both! Naturally.
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  #52  
Old 24-10-2017, 08:39 PM
Kerubiel Kerubiel is offline
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Originally Posted by 7luminaries
Kerubiel, that's good! If you want something deep and real in partnership specifically, however, then I hate to break it to you, but you cannot fixate on the physicality, on the beauty, and the romance. That is all fleeting, I hate to say. And you're still trying to take the route of sensuality and sentimentality (the low road) to come to the top of the mountain. It just won't ever take you there.

What will remain after all that superficiality fades, is authentic love for one another as people and as beloved friends. That enduring admiration and respect and love for one another as people and as souls...and from this, desire is sustained and illuminated. Not from the bodies per se. The love illuminates the desire and that is what makes the particular body and soul, heart and mind of this particular person desirable. For a woman, physical desire is very, very specific to the person. And in order to be on the same page, you have to be in a place of authentic love in partnership with that woman.

If you bring authentic love (seeks the highest good of the other and nothing to do with sex or your needs) into partnership, you can exchange real desire long-term. But it doesn't come to the vast majority of men because they go about it the wrong way. They see a pretty face or body and they think their own desire alone will guide them to that place of joy and love, as long as they can freely take from the woman what they need to boost themselves momentarily, or perhaps longer-term. And yet if the woman is like the vast majority of women, she will not desire you physically long-term -- if ever -- without a mutual authentic love for one another as people. Your [ultimately fleeting] desire or bliss doesn't do it. You can't power or shag your way into authentic love. You have to bring your own authentic love for humanity and then engage and allow time for this particular connection to grow.

Everyone has to bring their own love and appreciation for themselves and for the other as other -- platonically, as a person. Not desire for them as a sexual object, which is where most men fall down. If you bring your desire and your needs, then you're looking for someone to give you something (sex, adoration) to fill yourself up...which means on your own, you're empty or lacking, so what can you give to another?

If that's all you have, your lack, your lust, and your sentimentality (romance), you have nothing. It peters out if there is nothing foundational that pre-dated the sex, in which to ground the sex . The platonic, agape (authentic) love is that foundation. For self and others. Let your agape love, your authentic love for others -- men AND women -- pour out of you freely, from the heart centre. Not in a lustful or grasping or greedy, promiscuous sense, but simply in appreciation for others as they are.

After you get to know someone better, you certainly may honestly own if you desire life partnership, if you are willing to commit with integrity. Otherwise, IMO you should just pay for it and refrain from deceit and misdirection simply to obtain sex or a partnership. A large proportion of men know they are or have been guilty of deceit and misdirection of others at some point, in order to get sex and touch and company, knowing full well they had no intention of commitment long-term. If you are tired of predators, then avoid being predatory by means of exploitation and lies, as well.

Peace & blessings
7L

I am no liar. I am not out for just sex. I am out for a deep connection. I want to build a new soulmate for myself. I see that love can create such strong bonds that can endure even death. Nothing may separate that love's connection. I want to take the time to build this love. I am not out for just a shag, as i said, I am beyond that now. I have a gift as I see it. I can be as cupid and shoot arrows of love into people. Not just for myself but for other;s as well. I am wondering what to do, if anything, with this gift. I dont want to manipulate women or men, however I can instil love into them. I see it work.

I agree with much of what you said. Most of it in fact. Thanks for taking the time to message me!
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  #53  
Old 24-10-2017, 08:41 PM
Kerubiel Kerubiel is offline
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Originally Posted by A human Being
The spiritually-correct answer to that would be, 'Those who know that their true nature is love', though I can't say I'm consciously aware of that truth myself. But anyway, the impression I'm getting is that this desire is arising from a place of lack, though I could be wrong. Let me ask you another question, though: What if no-one did love you? Would you be able to live with it or would it be a shattering blow?

I disagree. I think being a person created of love, still seeks to be loved.
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  #54  
Old 24-10-2017, 08:43 PM
Kerubiel Kerubiel is offline
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Originally Posted by Molearner
Kerubiel ask the rhetoric question of "Who doesn't want to be loved?" I would suggest probably many people if they really understand what authentic love is. I visualize authentic love as being a bestowal of grace. Sort of like the Christian debate of whether salvation is obtained by grace or by works. I tend to think that a lot of people who say they desire love really mean they desire to viewed as 'worthy' of love......a sub-conscious acknowledgement that love should result via works. If instead I view authentic love emanating from an act of grace I realize that all of my faults have been laid bare or made visible or logically assumed and that any subsequent love has been made possible by forgiveness. At my age, I tend to have more certainty of the love that I feel for others rather than the love that I feel from others. Do not misinterpret me.......perceived and felt love is wonderful but is not absolutely required by me. Maybe what I am perceiving as being love from others could possibly be just admiration, agreement etc. Maybe they do not know me deeply enough to be aware of my faults, shortcomings, etc. and have not been moved to the point of forgiveness to me.

Thats rather beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I agree forgiveness is an act of love and can be given freely to anyone who has wronged us. I try not to look at people's shortcomings, but try to bring out the best in people. I think by complimenting and believing in people's virtues and strengths can in fact make them stronger and better people.
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  #55  
Old 24-10-2017, 08:47 PM
Kerubiel Kerubiel is offline
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Originally Posted by Tobi
I don't quite understand where you're coming from, Kerubiel.

Of course shared love has got to be one of the sweetest things we know. No doubt about that!

But -are you talking about desire? About that sexual desire which many think is "love"?
Sure, love can be a part of it, and it is beautiful when it is. But it isn't always, by any manner of means, even though it changes our consciousness...gives us a "high"...feeds our ego....makes us feel enchanted....makes us feel mighty satisfied and good....etc etc.

Love really is something else.

Okay -this is why I don't quite get where you're coming from.
On the one hand you extol the virtues of Love, and use all the right words.Maybe even feel it?
Yet on the other hand, you seem impressed by the idea of "making somebody" do what you want them to do; of planting or enforcing a "love" into them, and then presumably basking in all that glory about what you made somebody else do, while bathing in a strange reflected image via that person, of your own willpower!

That most certainly is not what genuine Love does, or wishes for or desires!


I agree. I do have a lust for power and control over reality. I have had it for a long time. ALthough it is not as strong as it once was. I have toned that lust down quite a bit in my maturity. I wonder, which is why I post, if what I am doing is in fact wrong. Love is intended by both parties and it is this intent that fosters love's development. Now why should I not intend love?
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  #56  
Old 24-10-2017, 09:01 PM
davidsun davidsun is offline
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Great articulation of the path you have walked and now word-meaning-fully 'blaze' , 7! May it serve as a beacon as well as a fog-horn to help guide (greater? higher?) 'male' aspiration and evolution for all with eyes that can see and ears that can hear what's what in such regard.

I once read (and think there's a ring of truth to it) that 'human' 'sexualiity' (meaning the year-round hormones, strong attractions, and intense pleasures associated with the phenom!) was God's - or was it Nature's?, I can't remember the particular concept that was used - way of 'tricking' (lol) peeps into engaging in conjoint keep-coming-back-for-more-relationship - making parental and larger community sustaining partnerships likely and possible - which they otherwise, if such 'selfiish'-pleasure 'attraction' wasn't a 'driving' factor, wouldn't.

As I said, my sense is that K's 'spirit' is at the 'doorway' to 'heaven' in such regard (many others who 'follow' 'norm'al guidelines are not, IMO). Whether he personally embarks on said journey in this lifetime is not my or anyone else's 'call', and may not even be his 'own' ('call') simply because a flower that hasn't (yet) organically reached the point of being 'ready' to do so cannot (yet) organically 'bloom.

My 'point' was/is that all 'steps' on that, albeit often convoluted, sometimes spiraling down and sometimes spiraling up, staircase ... all of them ultimately serve the cause of Life (Spiritual Growth, Evolution, etc.) and so may be given 'due' 'honor'. What you describe strikes me as being the most desirable kind of free-of-any-biological-or-social programming, hence spiritually 'ascending', most 'honorable' step (commitment?) one may make in that regard, I think.

Again, great articulation for all who can to see and hear, 7!
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  #57  
Old 24-10-2017, 09:03 PM
Revya Revya is offline
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Well, the fact of the matter is. If you are doing what you claim you are doing. You're not creating loving feelings in another. You're creating infatuation.And this infatuation is only going to last as long as you are energetically strengthening the shackles of bondage you are holding the other person in. When you stop feeding that you're going to eventually lose control over the other person as they return to their natural state of being.

It is absolutely wrong. It is violation of another's free will for your own selfish ends. If you want real love you have to earn it the hard way. That being said there is nothing wrong with playing spiritual peek a boo with someone to garner their interest. But the moment you command them to do something for you, you lose the moral high ground.
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  #58  
Old 24-10-2017, 10:07 PM
davidsun davidsun is offline
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Originally Posted by Revya
It is absolutely wrong. ... If you want real love you have to earn it the hard way.
I 'see' the presence of 'good' intentions underlying what you say, so my heart goes out to you, Revya, but in service of love and truth I must nevertheless say that I think absolute wrong-isms and have to do-isms and hard way-isms are very questionable, because they strike me as being overly rigid and unduly harsh, not to mention unproven and unprovable, beliefs.
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  #59  
Old 24-10-2017, 10:20 PM
Revya Revya is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davidsun
I 'see' the presence of 'good' intentions underlying what you say, so my heart goes out to you, Revya, but in service of love and truth I must nevertheless say that I think absolute wrong-isms and have to do-isms and hard way-isms are very questionable, because they strike me as being overly rigid and unduly harsh, not to mention unproven and unprovable, beliefs.

Well I don't mind that. I can tell you are a sweetheart of a a man.
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  #60  
Old 25-10-2017, 12:09 AM
davidsun davidsun is offline
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Originally Posted by Revya
Well I don't mind that. I can tell you are a sweetheart of a man.
Backatcha, Revya
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