Kundalini & Chakras

[django]

Originally Posted by Unseeking Seeker

***

In continuation to #771, by ‘predictable’ synchronicity, I chanced to read about the three aspects* (*for want of a better word) of kundalini in another book, ‘Kundalini Tantra’ by Swami Satyananda Saraswati. So I’ve penned it in my own words:

Tantra trika trinity signals perfect geometry
So we have the Sushumna, Vajrini & Chitrini
Three concentric conduits erect & vertical
Each inner casing for energies more subtle

I mention this in passing as general information, since we must eventually rely upon our own direct experiences only, to wisen to the actual significance.

***

Great quote, when these three are all flowing great things can start to happen.

[MyndFull]

I was shocked into the experience of kundalini.

No prior meditation practice, nor religious studies, nor any particular interest in it, despite being a lifelong ‘philosopher’ of the existential question ‘why are we here?’

Life prior had been dotted with visions, lucid dreams, intuitions which turned out to all come to pass many decades later.

10yrs prior to kundalini squiggling physically within my body and up to that point, i had retreated to a very isolated wilderness spot. Rid myself of all luxuries, not intentionally, i had planned on building a house and having running water etc....LOL...but for many yrs the luxury was to be dry from weather, have a warm fire, water from a tap.
Looking back i cant believe i didnt realise how hard the journey would be.
It became ‘the dark decade of the soul’ .
Yet, i wasn’t alone. My partner shared this journey too.

Also prior i had 25yrs of unrelenting anxiety.
It got worse in the wilderness.
Excruciating panic....Why? Was all i asked...i knew deeply this wasnt right...there was no cause.

All became clear one fateful night that reeled into months of that year 2018.
Bam....my world collapsed and instantly anxiety vanished.

The cue? The discovery of being lied to....multiple times, yet it was just one particular lie which really disolved me. I had made a major decision in my life when much younger based on one particular “little’ lie.
Recalling back, thats exactly when the anxiety started tormenting me.

I never knew the source of it. Didnt connect the dots at age 15!

Until one night, in the wilderness...25yrs later...

My solar plexus which was rock hard and tense all these years started moving on its own. Like fingers within my body pressing in that area. The sensations were sooooooo weird! It was undulating random pressure points all exactly at the solar plexus area. This went on for days! I couldnt sleep. My ego mind was already reeling from discoveries of lies upon lies....my body was moving on its own....i was extremely confused.

With the pressure point feeling within my solar plexus was releasing tension. All the time tension was being released. I was actually feeling a calmness from within i could barely relate to. It was incredible! Truly!

I was aware my ego mind was reeling and my body was behaving very weird...so i actually felt excited, curious, nervous, unsure, is this good/bad?...i was questioning what the hell is going on.

I couldn't sleep. 2-3 hrs....but mostly my mind was just soooo awake with sooo much energy. I ‘rationally’knew this was unusual. I couldnt eat much, just really simple meals.

Then once my solar plexus was all soft, pliable and calm, the pressure point /finger pressing sensations started in my heart!!
Yet it was like i had a ‘central’ heart....right at the sternum.
This was in the middle of the night when this started....i awoke, couldnt sleep....was alone, and sitting in a chair suddenly felt inexpressible joy. Just such gratitude, love, openess.....it was so beautiful.
I recall ‘thanking’ this ‘thing/energy/force’ - even ego mind questioned ‘who am i thanking?’ - i had no idea!

Then the finger pressing sensation at the heart started again as i sat there. It was very active and intense....then i started to get actual physical heart pains, sharp, stabbing, intense.....they got extremely painful, and i intuited these were ‘knots’ trying to be loosened so the energy could be cleared....
But the heart pain was extreme, and despite being courageous and allowing it to continue for 10’s of seconds, it got to the point that i felt more would cause a heart attack, so i then said to whatever this was in my mind ‘ouch, please no more, thats too much’.....and instantly this sensation ceased! I couldnt believe it! So i WAS in contact with SOMETHING aware and conscious!

The heart pulsations continued regularly for days/weeks months, all in all, but up next was my throat. Suddenly i had a lump in my throat. I couldnt swallow. I struggled with this. Weird as ive always been very vocally expressive in life. I questioned ‘what was i not saying that i should be?’...’should i just shut up?’....
This sensation of lump in throat was not like fingers pressing the throat. Unlike the other chakra sensations experienced.

Then during the days of this i was ‘mentally’ high.....reeling...i dont know why considering that i had recently learnt most my life had been a lie!!....but there was a psychological ego shift, a mental release....all of what i thought i was...was disappearing....whilst feeling higher...

Then i was one with ‘the ISness” - as i ended up calling it.
I realised that divinity permeated everywhere and i was sensing it acutely. I was ‘it’ sensing the ‘life force’ about in the world.

I still cant express it...its only been 2 yrs since this happened.

I was in a state of profound peace....throughout my entire being, at rest, loving the world of creation in its more divine form....i was soooooooo in love.

My everyday senses sharpened hugely. I saw flashed of bright lights glint past my eyes. I looked up at the night sky and saw stars exploding. I heard voices from entities which were not visible. I had symbolic dreams.
It was all lovely ....lasting weeks like this....communicating directly with animals....having millions of realisations about the nature of reality, consciousness, mankind....i didnt write one word down..as i just could describe this conscious experience. It was more profound than anything ever, forever.....and i also lamented, that many wouldnt believe me.

Things then turned somewhat strange. I realise now it had to do with my own karma etc, aswell as my mind becoming fearful of everything i was perceiving. Once fear enters, it’s nose-dive time. My partner also witnessed much of what i saw....i checked to see if it was a projection of my singular ego-consciousness or whether these odd sights were actually visible. Him confirming these sights slightly concerned me more - i was more comfortable for these things to be projections from my mind, for another to witness it too meant something more sinister to me, i dont know why.

I didnt dwell too much as i was still experiencing exhilaration , despite the ‘weird stuff’ happening. Things going missing, showing up in really odd places.

Then i had a dream. I was at the top of a tall high rise office block....and suddenly, i was going out the window, and there was a huuuuge ladder leant against the window....and i slid all the way down to the floor.

Yes, i was about to visit the ‘underworld’.

My partner and i were dreaming similar dreams during this time.
This happened before.....but this became more aligned and regular. Then we both had the same dream.

I started getting freaked out by these odd occurances....the little ‘me’ did. Part of me was astoundingly curious and amazed at all this to be honest!

Looking back i was too naively curious. Remained open. Intuition strong said somethings wrong. Then my heartbeat in my head pounding started. It wouldnt go away. I envisioned buddha statue on a beach infront of me...it came by its own. Shortly before i tried meditation for the first time seriously.
I didnt stay grounded spiritually, although i literally physically did and was laying on the earth for hours during this time.

One night, going out to feed animals, i then see baphomet.
Yes.
This 8 foot tall, being...standing 20 feet infront of me, the eyes sideways glowing....thought initially it was one of my horses....their eyes glow with my headtorch shining at them from a distance.
As i get closer, i see the outline of baphomet. Goat legs, bowed. Horns. Strong and muscular. I dont know what this baphomet is all about intellectually when i see this. I just am familiar with the ‘symbol/image’ and name.
I walk towards it, and it disappears and my black cat, which turned up as a ‘stray’ a few weeks earlier, was there, close-by.

Events then got extremely strange, and from what i can intuit is about personal karma and part and parcel of ‘clearing’ oneself so that kundalini can flow fully, unimpeded.

All i can say, now ‘out the other side’ of the experience is : keep focused, keep your spirit high and loving, have courage, dispel doubt, shame, guilt....forgive all, and yourself, and love all, and yourself.
I got through the ‘underworld’ part of this journey because i still had with me a deep inner peace and detachment from ego-personality-reactionary-self. I still was revelling in bliss while observing horror!
I became observer.... and dealings with people became extremely odd, and despite it all, because i didnt react , become ‘enmeshed’ with reactions....and then ultimately focused my mind on the positive aspects of life...these things slowly dissapeared out of my observations.

One of the most beautiful sights i saw were flocks of white doves flying above me. I went to several places, even another country during this time, and the doves flying above remained constant. Seeing that amidst the events kept me strong.

Im still integrating the experience and theres many parts untold, yet despite the weirditude side of the experience, the deep core shining through realisation and being that peace...within it, held there.....was worth it.

All the places during my anxiety years that brought out the most panic, happened to be the places i visited during this experience that were part of my ‘underworld’ experiences.
Pre-cognition has always been ripe in my life through visions and dreams but i never knew until this experience the illusion of time.

[NoOne]

Hi MyndFull,

Welcome to the forum,

Interesting experience, thanks for sharing.

It really resonated with me as I experienced many of the same things you describe, including ending up in the underworld one time during meditation and seeing Baphomet, or a being very similar to him. I now believe these goat-headed Chimeras guard the entrance to the Underworld (they are astral, not physical).

Like you, I also experienced strongly physical sensations during my kundalini awakening, though it was more like an actual serpent being inside of me, wriggling, moving around, bumping its head against blockages in chakras to clear them, that sort of thing. I also experienced each chakra activating, though not necessarily in order. The first one I could really feel spinning furiously during meditation and heating up, was the solar plexus.

Anyways, lots of stuff to unpick here, but if you have any particular questions about your experiences or you are confused about some aspects of it (as I was for years after it happened), this is the right place to ask, there are several people on this forum who have gone through what you have in some for or another, so we try to help each other with various insights and compare notes regularly.

Welcome Mind Full

[MyndFull]

Thank you NoOne and Legrand for the welcome!

The chakra sensations you mention NoOne are extremely difficult to explain. Your analogy is also spot -on - aside from the bubbling, pulsating, finger pressing sensations that were most pronounced in my solar plexus - the heart chakra feelings were more like as you describe, this force trying to move through a channel, clear the way.....and it came upon ‘knots’ as i intuited, which caused me the physical heart pain.

Due to no prior deep research into the metaphysical/spiritual/religious knowledge, when this happened to me, despite the inner me being sooooo calm and open and at peace, my ego mind was in utter confusion!
Yet, im grateful for this experience in this ‘raw, ignorant, unknown’ state - as i could also just treat it ‘as it is’ - and know it not to be projections from my knowledge intellect.
The realisations i had were numerous, far reaching concepts i had never thought about before this. Since this experience ive read theosophical literature, hindu, upanishads, tantric, shamanic, even the bible!..etc ive been guzzling at the ‘sacred-texts’ website!...incredible resource ....and find much of the symbolism and ‘truth’ within that knowledge resonating with my independent realisations through this experience.

Now i understand that through psychological ‘shock’, it caused my ego complex to fracture, which enabled mind to pierce the veil between this and the astral realms. The beautiful of them and the ugly. While my essence became lit up and peacefully ecstatic - it all happened at once.
My physical senses experienced this mundane reality, interwoven with other astral realms. Hence the confusion!
Leadbeater talks about the ‘carrion crows of the astral world’....it took some time to find info on crows, as these ‘normal everyday crows’ were following me....flocks of them! In a vehicle, they followed me, so i tried ‘losing them’....going the opposite direction....they followed. I couldnt believe it! Why on earth were these crows following me?! I was in the remotest of places and there are 30+ Crows following me...LOL.
It got much stranger than that too....my senses were smelling weird smells, i was being taunted by astral beings. Physically attacked by them. I didnt react, amazingly. I had ‘let go’ at that point. I focused on the central essence of pure peace within which was still there after the initial ‘bliss’ experience, i put my mind there, yet ego-mind of questioning was purely yelling “what on earth is going on?!” - i became aware of all aspect of ‘self’ at the same time.

I can understand why these experiences would cause a psychotic break in people, especially without having any metaphysical and spiritual knowledge of truth. If it hadnt have been for the initial kundalini ‘releasing’ experience of absolute peace, love, eternal powerful sense of perfection, which was still being ‘experienced’ alongside the underworld experiences, although somewhat ‘eclipsed’ by the yuck of it, i would have completely reacted fully and lost it.

Maybe having a curiosity about reality helped ultimately? To be the observer...
I also realised moreso the impact of mind upon creation and its power in manifesting events. That became extremely apparent during the experience. Hence why i tried to remain in centred detached mind of observing....not projecting anything! That was hard as i had never meditated before, but i was in that place for weeks on end - my life really did depend on it.

Prior to the kundalini experience a weird thing happened a few weeks earlier.
My thymus gland ‘exploded’ energy. Literally, a physical sensation of some matter exploding out of the place between throat and heart chakra.
It was very pleasurable as it was a ‘fast release’ of ‘something’....but i then felt extremely vulnerable and was sobbing my heart out! This happened all within 10 seconds.

I now understand that was the very start of the kundalini ‘arousing’ journey.

What triggered that?
Life stuff...just usual life stuff. We all seem to get to a point in life where absolute reality and relative reality become so distant and opposed to one another, the essence of us cannot cope with the disparity.
So with ‘all parts of self will’ on board, and agreeing to wish to heal ‘mundane life issues’ - that awakes kundalini i believe.

How to integrate and ‘live whole’ all the time and not allow ‘animal lower ego’ to take the reins, is what im struggling with.
How to cope with pre-cognition of visions, intuitions and dreams - now i realise all those things i didnt take seriously as ever becoming actual events, literally were telling me of what was to come...and they did.
It feels like its taken the ‘buzz’ out of creating life as evidently, our ego-based beings are predictable and so the future can be known : a leads to b leads to c etc...so i feel like its all written and whats the point in spontenaity? Its ‘predictable’ spontenaity is all.
I intuited along the way of the journey, ‘do what youre least likely to’ - even my rebellion of myself ended up being known and lead to events happening that i dreamt of yrs prior!
I will admit - i dont like fate being a ‘done deal, signed and stamped’ - immovable and inevitable. Yet my experience has taught me, it is...even when we ‘think’ we’re progressing, ‘creating’ our life...its already known and happened.

The underworld astral experience also showed me stuff that hadnt happened yet. Trying to cause more fear as its a delicious energy for those minions.

How do we live with this? Fate being somewhat predictable?
This is my blockage...

Originally Posted by MyndFull

How to integrate and ‘live whole’ all the time and not allow ‘animal lower ego’ to take the reins, is what im struggling with.

Hello MyndFull,

There is a process of integration that will create a nice continuing rainbow from the lower ego to a total merging with the whole.

Simply need to allow it to finish it's work.

Enjoy!

[NoOne]

MyndFull,

Another parallel with my case is that when the Kundalini broke through the last knot and I had an enlightenment experience, a crow that was perched on a tree opposite my window crowed 4 times. I think these animals act as some sort of messenger between the spirit world and the physical realm.

I also second Legrand's post above, you need to allow plenty of time for integration, by letting go and allowing the Goddess to take over and do her work.

This might take 5-7 years from the Initial Kundalini Awakening experience.

Don't worry about weird astral travels and premonitions, even prophetic dreams, they are part of the integration process. There are still impurities in your energetic makeup and they taint the energy expressing herself in you, so you might see a distorted picture for a while.

[MyndFull]

Thank you for the encouragement NoOne. I truly appreciate the understanding. Afterall there are not many places within society to discuss this stuff except forums such as this. Its wonderful to have many on here sharing their experiences and supporting one another.

Did yourself, or anyone else, experience during kundalini experiences a warping of their sense of time?
For me, i found time sped up incredibly fast. It was incredible. 6 hrs felt like an hour ‘normal time’. Due to having certain jobs to do at certain times, i found i could barely keep it together and the schedule went very awry!
Eating at 3am, sleeping for just a few mere hours at ridiculous times, i coildnt keep a grasp onto ‘normal schedule’ despite trying.

[NoOne]

Originally Posted by MyndFull

Thank you for the encouragement NoOne. I truly appreciate the understanding. Afterall there are not many places within society to discuss this stuff except forums such as this. Its wonderful to have many on here sharing their experiences and supporting one another....

Yes, I've had experiences like that. My sleeping schedule certainly hasn't been normal.

I've also had experiences, where my own local perception of time slowed down, and everything else around me sped up to a ridiculous degree. This was accompanied by Kundalini activation and the heating up of the crown. I believe that when your awareness is above the crown, you are outside the normal constrainst of linear space and time. Some Yogis can move their awareness entirely outside their body, expanding it from the Crown chakra into Infinity. When they do this on a permanent basis, their bodies become, inert, lifeless and cold, going into some sort of stasis, with only the very top of the head warm to the touch.

[Unseeking Seeker]

Here is a quick wrap up of the kundalini journey as experienced, in the form of a Ziket* (* first line 8 syllables, second line 5 syllables)

The energy path is direct
Unmistakable

There being no room for error
Fickle thought rested

It all begins with a yearning
To be one with God

Anahata then all aflame
Seeks satisfaction

Magnetic pull thus created
Awakens Shakti

Energy rises rapidly
Through any channel

Path being of least resistance
Central optimal

Attachment to form a blockage
May delay ascent

Prayerful surrender the practice
Rise a certainty

Shakti uniting with Shiva
Merging at the crown

Polarities next do balance
Becoming equal

Shiva and Shakti then descend
To the heart centre

Lovers unite bliss the climax
Rapture without end

Sushumna throbs in pure delight
Igniting our form

Kundalini movement ceases
We be to become

Subject object merge all is one
Bliss alone remains