is it true..?

hi :)
Is it true that if a person has unsolved issues with her father would have those issues with her future husband too?! I heard it from my friend and wondering if its true, because Im not so happy about my relationship with my father..

OH it's true. I'm living proof. When you have a non-existent or difficult relationship with your opposite gender parent, you carry that into relationships.

With me, I went totally into needing love and attention from my male partners, to make up for what I was missing from my father. It took me a lot of years to work through this but self love and learning to love who I am, not needing a partner to complete me, was the catalyst in my healing.

If you want to chat more in PM, I'm available.

what should i do now?! I had 2 or 3 relationships with guys like my father and I broke up with them because of that similarity.. I live with my parents and in my situation there is not a way to get out of this.. my father is a very likable guy but I have issues with him most of them has rooted in my childhood.. he is so close minded and try to controls me. i dont know if there is a way to workout this problem..

It is very common that we recreate all kinds of patterns as adults from our childhood. Actress Suzanne Somers has been public about how she torpedoed her adult life when things were running too smooth to recreate the chaos & uncertainty that existed in her childhood. Once she understood this she was able to stop unintentionally recreating this pattern.

While this is very common, it doesn’t mean that it is means in any way that this dooms a future relationship for you. As Medium Laura notes, we have the capacity to heal our self.

It isn’t a given that future problems will occur w/ a husband because of unresolved issues w/ your father. Many have come from very problematic families to be well adjusted, balanced individuals. It is likely that they distanced their self from their problematic family issues. This distancing can break the repeating energy pattern.

Distanced Observer- http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...685#post176685

As children, we often expect our parents to be perfect. They seldom are, but this is no different from all of humanity. Mentioning this not being perfect isn’t to excuse behavior or diminish that is genuinely abusive (physically or emotionally) or inappropriate though. An interesting observation for me about this was when I was the age my parents were when they had me. An appreciation emerged that they were likely no wiser than I was at that age.

If you are comfortable w/ providing more information about what there unresolved issues are it is likely you could get more feedback. If you aren't comforatable w/ revealing this much, that is completely OK & understandable.

When we do the work to heal our self & know how these dynamics work w/ repeating behavior patterns we are empowered considerably & in much better shape to be the master of our own journey.

Mattie thank you for sharing ur wisdom :)
as I said up there in a comment of medium laura my problem with my father is his over protection and obsession that i might do any thing wrong... i remember when i was a child i was always sooo happy.. everything made me happy.. i was always laughing and playing but when my father was around he always warned me that if you run u would fall or its inappropriate to do this and that..
there wasnt a single thing that he couldnt ruin it for me and my mom.. maybe im exagerating a little ... it was not that bad.. he is a nice person but he is so obsessive and pessimist..
now im 23 and i hardly do anything without thinking my father will or will not diagree with that.. so There are sooo many thing that I do not do in my life because I really dont like him saying that i did a mistake doing this. or having a fight with my mother that it was her problem that I do what i do
lately i was in a relationship and i have the same problem with my boyfriend.. for example one day i went to beach to take a sun bath and enjoy hanging out with friends and aaaall he could say was that " why do u go to beach? the dose of UV is so high this time of year.. you will have cancer.. and so many other things that made me want to cry for that fun day i had

now im this introverted person who likes to stay at home and surf the net instead of going out with friends.. i have one best friend and thats it! im pretty sure most of my colleagues dont like me. Im lonely. and you know what I really dont care till the moment my boyfriend tells me why you dont have so many friends whats the matter with you!
I really dont know what is my problem but it seems that it originated from my relationship with my parents. and I really dont know what to do about it. I really prefer be single for the rest of my life and not to have a husband like my father.

Moonlight, instead of worrying about your relationships, it seems that Mattie is correct in saying that you need to work on self. Yes, you were raised harshly, but it doesn't HAVE to define your truths and beliefs now. You are an adult.

Work through those issues you had/have with your father. Your boyfriend with the UV comment seemed genuinely concerned for your health, not telling you that you are silly or stupid. Your ability to discern and separate needs to be addressed. They are not your father.

Once you work on self-love, letting go of the past and forgiveness of your father, you will start to rebuild your spirit within. Trust Mattie's posts here, she has some amazing advice.

medium laura how can I work through my problems with my father? should I ignore them or just sit and talk to him?

Talking to him won't help. He is already set in his ways. Work on these issues that are within you. Your father obviously has his own lessons in life, but you don't have to carry his issues into yours.

Here is a short meditation I wrote about forgiving

http://mediumlauraevans.podomatic.co...14_44_23-07_00

Try this and keep working with it.

It's not going to happen over night, you must rework your mind/body/spirit every day. It's a long road, but the end result is SOO worth it :)

Thank you soooo very much medium laura! you are a great help to me and my issues aaall over this forum. ;)
love