Advice Please on a VERY Self Conscietious Leo

[Green.Heals]

Hello,

At my work place my manager is the wife of the chef that brought me in. I worked with him briefly at a position before this, just this year.

She is about mid to late forties, and has her Sun in Leo. I know Leo's like attention, they like to be the center, they are big in gossip. I have learned that once you hurt a Leo - dependent on what it is, they aren't very forgiving.

I don't know what to do. I have rubbed her the wrong way so many times, that she has begun to passive aggressively attack me. It doesn't seem to matter what I do, or don't do - she does not like me. This is a seasonal job, I need this job.

A) I talk too much out of my own insecurities. B) I can be quiet, and stay polite, remain positive. C) I have tried to ask her about her life, and she won't talk to me.

When there has been an issue between myself and her, Chef will step in, and balance it - this is not good. It fixes THAT problem, but it makes the one between her & I, worse.

She's grown it into a community thing - the other girls I've rubbed wrong, and they all confide in one another. That is where it started to begin with.

I would give examples, but I do not know how to make light of them - short & sweet.

How can I turn this around?

[Green.Heals]

The examples:

Examples;

I had been eating Vegan, she knew this, and would introduce me as Vegan, this is ______ and she's Vegan. SUPER personal information - most people are not open to Veganism, and I had even told her I wasn't Vegan, but that I was eating that way.

I was told to have black runners for the job. I came in with black runners, and her husband noticed they were sketchers. He commented on how nice they were. I didn't say anything. She immediately started talking about how she wanted sketchers too, and a few days later, she came in and showed us her sneakers she'd gotten on sale but that they're NOT sketchers, she said.

I told a woman who worked there briefly, I wasn't big on early mornings, but not a big deal, when she quit, I asked the manager if I could take that shift, and she told me, well, it's a morning. - Btw, I work two 6:30am shifts already.

About a week ago, she started to not say Hello to me, or when I say it, she mumbles back but never looks up to acknowledge me, unlike others.

This week on Tuesday, I came into work, and I was accused of stealing. It was done in front of other staff, and other staff were aware of it before I knew. Than, it was found - & no apology, and I get it - a young immature crowd, they were embarrassed. Not only that, but it was found in a very odd place, as though it had been purposely tossed there.

That afternoon, I'd learned that a lady had called to say I wasn't in the right place with my job, and to go there. I ran into Chef, and he abruptly asked me if I was meeting lots of people where I am supposed to be (which I was, because I am only supposed to be there)

So, I have my own issue's in how I think of these things, and I cannot help but think, she wants me out. The person that lost the item, she is very friendly with. The girls that do not like me, as I rubbed the wrong way, she confides in. Not good. They're about 19-21. They do not like me because I mentioned I was going to be getting a certain amount of hours - also other woman that are very self conscientious tend to not like me, they see me as competition.

The last message that I sent to Chef by text on Tuesday was that, I would not be talking to anyone else from here forward - I was a lil bruised from that day. & that I'd known I'd rubbed some people the wrong way.

Today, those two girls were mentioning me, I could hear my name as I was in the next room over. I feel like, it was made known from the Manager to the one young lady that I had said something about her being rude to me - I never said any such thing, or gave any names, in fact - that statement was about the wife & some other people. I feel like this Manager (Leo) has begun stirring the pot between myself & these young ladies. She attacked me other ways with other people, it did not work out - & now this..

The girls were very displeased with me today - to the point it's been transferred already to other staff within different area's, they will not talk with me. In fact I am given the cold shoulder. & it was made mention that I am passive aggressive. It's bad.

I thought about removing myself and gave just days until a certain time, so I could go back to my part time night job & get the hours I want. Safety, too. The Chef talked to me in his office when he arrived, and his wife would not join the conversation, came into the office in a huff, dropped her purse & stormed out of the room. I had been told that, I was first in line for shift drops, and I would be called first, the night she called me, she anxiously told me that she'd asked another gal first and she felt bad to ask me. When I told him, he laughed in my face, and said nobody feels bad - & I said this is an awkward conversation, as I feel she needs to be here. He didn't realize what she'd said. I was called later that night by her, to give me a shift for that weekend & that she was just calling everyone because of the long weekend & oh btw did he not mention this shift to you, oh he probably forgot, is this okay?

The next day, she asked me to pick up another shift the next week. I said yes, and she proceeded to ask me twice over, are you sure it is okay? Me, yes of course.

BTW it's only been 3 weeks.

I'm different. & it is not liked. Talking to her (Leo) privately will make it worse, this I've tried before in another position. She will lie, as it's already begun. The day I was accused of stealing, I went to her later, and said I was relieved that they'd found it, because I was freaking out, and she said, with a big smile, "I was never worried, I knew it would be found all along." yet she shared with staff that I stole when it wasn't found. Ironically, the cash out had already been done, and the envelope had been discarded in a pile of papers, in a file box - where it is NEVER stored.

I try to be direct with her, look her in the eye, stop and face her when she's talking to me. Ask her about her family, about life. Ask her how she'd like tasks done, so that I am not sharing inaccurate info. They're freaking busy, but yet energy is still spent on this.

I cannot help but think she is running me out, and if I don't leave,it will be made worse for me. I felt at first that the girls were trying to figure out a way to put a wedge between myself and Chef - he treats me like a daughter - yet he is only a few years older, his wife, 8 years older than him again. He has become more and more brisk with me as of late.

I'm lost.

[inavalan]

Do your job properly, and don't overthink things. I believe you concentrate too much on things unrelated to your job, and this is probably sensed by your coworkers. Avoid discussions unrelated to your job and your position. If you can't adapt, move on. After all maybe that isn't a good place for you. Don't force it!

[Green.Heals]

True. Thank You.

I have a really hard time with over analyzing. Virgo here. I am a super perfectionist.

[SaturninePluto]

I agree whole heartedly with Invalan.

Do your job, pay attention to the work you are there to do.

What appears is going on is workplace gossip, just that, it doesn't matter.

What matters is that you do your job and pay attention to your work.

You are all there to work.

What these girls and the manager are saying about you, or if you hear your name, should not be bothering you.

You know what is true about yourself, they do not. Simply ignore it.

Also as said by Invalan you seem to be dwelling too much on what others are saying specifically in relevance to you, yourself, your person.

Forget about it. Let them talk. Pay attention to your work.

So you and the manager of your work are not best friends.... so what?

She is your boss. She isn't there to be your friend or buddy. Simply do your job properly. When she asks a work related question answer honestly- honestly does not mean without tact btw, and politely in regards to work.

As far as the other girls not talking to you, or giving the cold shoulder.... so what?

You all are there to work, not spend hours in chit chat during work hours anyway.

You don't have to walk in to work and speak and say hi to everyone every single day to try and get in with their clique anyway.

You are not obligated to walk up to someone and say hello.

If they ask you a question related to work, you can simply answer politely.

You do not have to invite your co-worker out to coffee to try to be friends, if you feel they already do not like you too much.

You see that's the beauty of it, there is no pressure here to be a social butterfly.

It is the workplace, not the school recess yard.

Just ignore all the gossip and concentrate on your work- that is what is important.

You said you need the job, perform the work, get paid, go home, and spend time with someone you already know whom you actually like and enjoy spending time with already yourself, and whom you are aware returns this likeness, have a night out, let loose, and have fun.

You are not obligated to be the best of buddies with everyone you work with, especially your boss.

Just pay attention to your work, work as long as you can there if you need the job, and once your finances are in order and you are at where you need to be, then think about what you really want to do.

In the mean time you are not expected to invite your co-worker out to coffee, nor are you obligated to walk into work and say hi to all the girls everyday.

But, you are expected to work.

Ignore the workplace gossip.

It isn't worth focusing on.

[Green.Heals]

You are not obligated to walk up to someone and say hello.

THIS ^^

Thank you for the advice. The above Ive been told before, I just thought it was impolite of me not to. I tend not to at most places, and well yes, I am in the wrong place for me, and I continue to work on that change.

I know I am just as insecure, and I've invited it back to me. It has gotten better, since I've posted this - I have just focused on the work, and I can do quiet very well.

[lovebacktotke]

Leo people are also self oriented but in a different sense than Aries. Aries behavior is more or less unaware of self. It is self oriented but the action of self is not self-conscious. Leo is developing a self consciousness.
Firstly, lets define what self consciousness is and then go on to describe how it affects your performance in social situations and what you can do to help yourself with this knowledge and understanding.

[Compendium]

Another thing which is difficult, but needed, send her love....silently of course. As well always kill with kindness <3