Do you care about/consider your spouse's feelings in your actions?

[Jared.L]

Hello guys.

Let's say you're married and have friends of the opposite sex and you decided to fool around with them in a you know what way, let's say talk dirty, kiss, cuddle, get naked, have sex, etc. Do you, both mentally and practically, care about/consider your spouse before attempting to go with those actions?

I would.

[RiverL]

"Fooling around in a you know what way" with anyone without the knowledge and consent of one's spouse is cheating. Which is inherently dishonest. Since dishonesty lowers one's energetic vibration, and breaking one's vows--on anything, not only marriage--can interfere with one's spiritual work, it isn't something I would do. It's partly a matter of considering my spouse, and partly a matter of considering *myself*--do I want to be a dishonest, hurtful person? Um, nope. Not in the least.

I do have partners other than my spouse, but it isn't the same situation. My spouse has full knowledge of my other partners, and has given his consent and acceptance to my having them. If someone were to want to engage sexually with people other than their spouse, I would advise them to talk to their spouse first. Maybe they can reach an agreement as my spouse and I have. Maybe not, but at least they'll have been honest.

[Clover]

Originally Posted by RiverL

If someone were to want to engage sexually with people other than their spouse, I would advise them to talk to their spouse first. Maybe they can reach an agreement as my spouse and I have. Maybe not, but at least they'll have been honest.

I dont think people want to end up on the front cover of the news tho'

Setting silliness aside, it takes a very open minded individual to accept a radical apporach such as extending their relatinships outside ones union, however, yes, direct communcation is a great solution/alternative than being dishonest and dragging people along for years without knowlege..

What a question!

There's really no point in marrying if you haven't "grown up" enough to make the commitment and have self-discipline enough to keep it - which I suppose is why marriage is falling in popularity and divorces running at a high level. I think the UK holds the world record for Number of Divorces per Capita.

It's why I'm not married - not quite ready to settle down yet.

But it goes like this. If you can't be honest with your spouse/partner/sex provider, then you're a failure, a neurotic. Set the person free and go your own way. Ok, things happen at workplace parties; career is more important than domestic for many. Sometimes a small drunken infraction at the office party can be accepted by a partner - but if it's habitual, drop the fear of being alone or lonely and get on with it alone.

It is, after all, how Nature intended. Nature didn't invent marriage - but She did come up with some STDs to help keep population levels under control.

Trust is based on a couple (or however many) working to rules implicitly or explicitly developed in the run up to marriage/living together. If one or the other breaks the rules then trust is gone. Could be possible to recapture it if genuine atonement can be made. Otherwise it's gone. So don't have children and make them suffer self-control failings.

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