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so i can only hope there is some sort of karma to take care of stuff
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My advice here is to leave it. Leave the karmic thinking. You do not want it, you do not need it, and these thoughts are not helpful at all.
They indicate a hidden guilt type of thinking - (as: you are guilty, so karma will strike you back). True Forgiveness is better.
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i can't turn my other cheek, but i cant do 'an eye for an eye' thing either.
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Please allow me to explain this 'turn the other cheek' type of thing:
You are living in Paradise. You just do not know it.
You see, In Paradise,they think differently.
You are, even here, invulnerable. I know you do not believe it. But it is so.
That means that nobody can hurt you, but it must mean, that you can not, and do not want to hurt anyone.
So how would you behave, if nobody can hurt you, and you do not want to hurt anyone ?
You would be at peace (and happy), right ? (at least this should your answer be :p ) (edit: well imagine it, feel it and be it)
So, somehow, an attack thought entered your mind, and you have reacted. And by your reaction you have learned that you are vulnerable.
If you can accept this, then you must see, that what has happened is gone, and that you are still invulnerable now.
So turning the Other Cheek means, simply, that you have allowed an attack thought to slip your forgiveness, and by it you became vulnerable.
Recognizing this fact, an inner shift happens, where you say (and think, and mean): Wait a minute, you can not hurt me, it is ridiculous.
And so you can ask him to hit you on the 'other cheek'.
And with this you will learn that he can't hurt you, because you would not feel the pain.
There was an youtube video, where a man was having an interview, and he explained the effects of Guilt.
He first told the Reporter to stretch his arm, and he would try to push it down, and he could not.
Then he told him, to recall and have guilty feelings, and as he pushed, his arm felt down, as it had no power at all.
And again, he asked him to think some confident thoughts, and he could not push his arm down.
(usually i set such videos on the "Watch Later" list, and probably i have pasted it on this or some other forum too, but i can't find it now)
You can even try it at home. This example explains the effects of negative emotions. And as i wrote above, you do not want them, neither for yourself, nor for others. Because it would hurt you, if you want to hurt them.
If you catch yourself using such things unintentionally, then do not make the mistake to feel guilty about it.
Forgive yourself, and be thankful that you had recognized it.
Guilt, Fear, Hate, Jealosity etc etc makes you really powerless, because they go Hand in Hand, and one follows the other.
And you will act according to their rules, instead of finding a Loving sollution.
Being thankful and feelings of love and forgiveness, usually, helps you to get out of negativity.
Thanks for reading.
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