Quote:
Originally Posted by linen53
On the other hand, I had second thoughts once I planned my horrible childhood and was implanted into the fetus body. At that point if my mother had been able to successfully abort me I may have gone back and revamped my life plan to something a little gentler and kinder.
Before I was born and in the process of planning my life contract, it all sounded like the perfect solution. That's the problem. Once we are in "heaven" we forget just how horrible it is here. So in theory it was a good plan, I just forgot how much physical, emotional, spiritual PAIN I would have to go through.
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Linen--
Yes, I know what you mean. "Down here" it's much harder than it looks!
But how do you know that the plan was that your mother would keep you and
she made a decision not to--and the subsequent pain that you endured because of that?
I also wonder if that were true--that you re-thought your life plan, then your mother would have been successful and you wouldn't be here. It is a testament to your own strength and confidence in your own ability to turn this into a learning experience.
I feel that I had issues with losing my spiritual mentor. I had strong memories of a past-life mentor. I was his "trainee" for most of my life--learning about healing and plants and life. But when he died, even at a young age, I just couldn't get over the death. I didn't have the faith that I could do these spiritual things on my own, without him. Which, when you think about it---is pretty darn important.
So in this life, my mother was my spiritual mentor but at 7 was committed for schizophrenia and was never in my life after that. I
assume that the plan was that way so that I didn't depend on her too much. And her psychological imbalance made sure that didn't happen.
But it's been a B to get over it again!! Not sure I'm great at this lesson, but I just keep chipping away at it through lives.
At least that's how I put it together today. It can change.
So, I'm just encouraging you in your own analysis. It's tough thing to "put yourself through"---but somewhere there is a deeper reason why you did it this way. I don't know the answer to it. But bless you for working at it.
Lora