High school graduation, unplanned pregnancy, enlarging house

[astralwanderer]

Last night I dreamed that I was at my high school graduation ceremony (which actually happened 13 years ago...), and I was wearing a formal gown. When the ceremony was over, my classmates and I went to a graduation party that was very similar to the prom.

While I was there, I realized that I was very pregnant. [I was definitely never pregnant in high school. I was happily married before I had two planned pregnancies.] I was dancing and having fun and the thought crossed my mind, "I'm so glad I held out on having this baby until after my graduation." I walked out of the dance area into a hallway toward the restroom. I stopped and exhaled and then my water broke. To my right, I noticed a staircase leading toward an exit. I wanted to leave before anyone noticed what had happened. As I was exiting the door at the top of the stairs, one of the teachers appeared and had noticed my water broke and called after me, but I ran (well, waddled) away.

Next scene: I was at home (my parents' house), and it was about 5 p.m. the next day. I decided that I "needed to do the right thing," and go to the hospital since we were approaching the 24-hour mark of my water being broken. (It was like I was just trying to keep the baby inside because I didn't want to have a baby...very strange.)

I went into my mother's room and said, "My water broke yesterday. I probably need to go to the hospital."

She said, "I know. I saw your mess in the bathroom last night." [In real life, we don't have a good relationship and have never had a good relationship. I currently have not seen or spoken to her in over a year.]

Me: "I thought I cleaned it up." I stooped to pick up my bag. "Well, let's get this over with."

Mom: "Why don't you have a good attitude about this?"

Me: "I didn't want to have a baby."

Mom: "Well, why don't you give it up for adoption?"

[DISCLAIMER: This fictional conversation does not represent my views on the abortion v. adoption/pro-life v. pro-choice argument; this is a random conversation from a dream.]

Me: "I wanted to have an abortion, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, and I can't bring a child into the world and then send them off the live with strangers never knowing what happened to it. I guess I'm going to keep it."

Mom: "You don't really mean you would have an abortion. That's terrible!"

Me: "You asked!"

The next scene occurred in our current life. It is pretty unrelated but did adjoin the previous dream fluidly. My husband and I and our two kids were at our friends' house (their children are the same ages as our children and we have similar interests, so we end up spending a lot of time together). I had excused myself to use the restroom but noticed that their house kept growing the more I explored it. I guess I had been gone awhile because my husband came to find me. When he walked up, he had this look of relief that he had found me. I said, "This house has 22 bedrooms, 12 bathrooms, and 3 kitchens. Can you imagine? This is insane." But he was not even concerned about my observation; he was just glad to have located me. He led me back toward the others, and that was the end.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

your "graduation" might coincide with progressing from an 'ordinary'
understanding of earth life to a 'spiritually enlightened' understanding.
the pregnancy would involve having a new creation to be involved with,
which you've wanted to occur after attaining a new level of awareness
[the child to be may represent your next lifetime]. it's unclear if you've
reached a new plateau, or just left an older perspective behind (while
still in transition to somewhere else).

the conversation with your mother appears to involve some role-reversal
and is probably a means for you to understand some issues that have
worried her (at some non-obvious level).

the "current life" scene may be exploring your newly created life. your
friends home may serve as a model for how you proceed... adding
extensions to what exists presently (which seems whacky), rather than
something new and practical. your spouse (nearly) voices concern that
you'll become separated if you abandon the old ways of being.

[Michelle11]

The birth of a child is likely not representative of an actual birth but rather the birth of an idea, project or goal, or new endeavor. Being that it happened in a school after graduation suggests that you learned something in order for this to have occurred. You gained an understanding that will help you with this new thing in your life. But it seems initially you didn't want it, whatever it is. considering there was a conversation with your mother whom you don't get along with it may be that you are ready to confront this dysfunction between you two. You made a mess in her bathroom or a bathroom you both share and she saw it. This could mean that at some point you expressed your upset in her presence even though you tried not to. In any event, dealing with your relationship with your mother or some aspect that was created in you from that relationship is something you wanted to back out of. It's understandable, when we have things that feel hurtful to us it is normal to want to avoid them. But in this instance you are begrudgingly going through with it your mother almost instigating the process.

So the dream shifts and you are at a friends house which is big and expansive. This could be a sign that the issue you may need to confront is the idea of comparison. Does your mother live from the perspective of keeping up with the jones and it is something that you see as a negative? Possibly your friends have a very open energy and have expanded viewpoints on a lot of things and this feels overwhelming to you, too much to keep track of (overly big house with multiples of the same room). I mean really how many kitchens does one person really need.

In any event, I would explore your relationship with your mother and how she affected you. What is your beef with her? What were the messages she threw at you all the time growing up? How did you respond to her influence on you? Then reflect on this idea of a huge house with so many rooms a person can get lost. How did it make you feel? What is your take away from that kind of house? if a house is where our thoughts live then the house represents an approach to life that may be troubling to you. Why is that? Sounds like you are on the road to resolving an important life lesson but the what of it is not quite clear yet but by learning a previous important lesson you have set the stage for the learning to be born.

[astralwanderer]

Maybe some background on my current situation with my mom since that part seems relevant: She remarried in February. Her new husband has a son who is married with a son the same age as mine, and the husband also has a daughter. Lately I’ve been kind of curious about her and her new life. I think on some level I’d like to have a relationship with her again, but I’m not sure how much of that is just as a way to learn more about her new life in order to satiate my curiosity.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

astralwanderer: I think on some level I’d like to have a relationship with her again, but I’m not sure how much of that is just as a way to learn more about her new life in order to satiate my curiosity.

lol.
imagine that you do have a loving relationship with your mother.
that connection exists on a plane invisible to your current awareness.
directing your curiosity in that direction is probably more beneficial to
advancing the development of your soul-experience.
(you've graduated from the dramas.)

[astralwanderer]

Wise words. I will consider these things.