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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 15-08-2014, 09:05 PM
goldentimes
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loving someone with a but

Hi all, I Think I have a problem as I love someone with strong feelings for them.

I'd met this person on 30th Apr. and when I 1st sew her I was emotional attractive to her but not only am I emotionally attractive, I've become romantic attractive but also without thinking I/we have been mirroring each other and light flirting. So I am also being to think I could even be sexually attractive (but with out having any sexual acts) to her?-(there are parts of her I find attractive)

I personally love her (could even be from the heart) and she's been someone who's been supportive, loyal, caring etc.

But and it's a big but, She happens to be married and her job has Gov. laws . As for this could I still be Romantic and emotionally attractive and still be friends?

Best Regards
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  #2  
Old 16-08-2014, 10:36 AM
Lorelyen
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Love? We might desire someone (sexually or otherwise) but that lasts only as long as the relationship works. You will both have habits and rituals that the other may not like. Whether some greater value emerges in the relationship to allow compromises to be borne is the issue that decides love and not. It takes a long time to mesh enough to know you're "in love" with someone. Our emotions play awful tricks with us all! We think we love someone until the repertoire of the relationship runs dry then we find ourselves attracted to someone new.

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  #3  
Old 21-08-2014, 11:53 AM
goldentimes
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I know that I couldn't be fully "in love" within a Relationship with her, but could I not be able to love her as a close friend? I think of her as my Soulmate as I love her from the inside-out; I can feel almost every feeling she has when I'm with her. I am so greatful as she done so much, and cares and she looks so beautiful-her smile, I could just melt within. I feels that I couldn't every hurt her while I'm with her as I care for her with feelings.
I love her for who she is, for what she is and what she does.
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  #4  
Old 22-08-2014, 06:43 PM
fennel fennel is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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I do not recommend that you reveal your true feelings to this person- she is married, and I hope you will respect that fact and not try to lure her away from spouse and kids.

Hopefully, you can remain friends with her and these feelings of attraction will most likely wane with time. It's certainly possible- I have been in a similar situation and am now truly just friends with the person I had "other" feelings for.

Good luck...
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  #5  
Old 23-08-2014, 03:06 AM
Deusdrum Deusdrum is offline
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Finally! An easy question.

Love her as a friend and absolutely don't get together with her. In fact, there are 2 words you can use to stop any potential romantic advances she might make on you; "You're married." (full stop)

Plenty of women out there. You can love someone and not sleep with them; in fact, if they're married you probably shouldn't. If not for ethical considerations then for her (and her husband's) sake, if not that then know you would be opening up a world of trouble and hurt most likely if you were to act on these feelings.

Plenty of women out there man, leave well enough alone. If she's unhappy with the marriage from her end, getting a divorce would be the way to go imo rather than an affair, but God knows these things happen. Don't go there, that would be my advice.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for people being free and following their heart etc. but to me that would be selfish even if you don't know or care for her husband. Things could get real dicey fast. Husbands tend not to look favorably on other men *ahem* their wives. I have a friend who has an "open marriage" (although she seems more open to it than her hubby) and even then I'm, personally speaking, reticent to think that it's a good idea. So unless they have that understanding I'd stay away from even thinking of this. Put it out of your mind completely as a possibility. In fact, if you drink at all don't do so with her alone.

Assalaamu Alaikum. ~
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  #6  
Old 23-08-2014, 11:46 AM
12meadows 12meadows is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: florida
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I am seconding Duesdrum, and adding that timing is everything. If you were truly meant to be with her now, she would not already be married. IF she is willing to be unfaithful to her husband- you do not want her. And I am not saying that she would one day be unfaithful to you ( although it's possible) but that the seed of doubt would always be with you and shadow your relationship.

With that being said, it's ok to love the person she is. Be careful not to place yourself in situations where your wants will compromise things. Learn from this experience. The relationship you have with her now is there for a reason. Maybe one day that relationship will change. Do not think about tomorrow, think about today and making good moral choices that will not hang over your tomorrow's. I wish you well :)
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  #7  
Old 23-08-2014, 05:53 PM
Ascension Ascension is offline
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Imagine loving someone without a butt , so hurtful !!! hehe
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