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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Auras & Chakras

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  #11  
Old 13-02-2018, 02:54 PM
SpiritofZoe SpiritofZoe is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 73
 
The mood and assumptions of reactions such as this- and the OP's, the whole idea of easily labeling your own good friends and lovers as "energy vampires" without realizing that, if that does happen to hurt their feelings, then, well, maybe that is your problem. What do you get out of it? A feeling of control and influence over others where you are only secure if it seems they are jealous of you or demanding of you? A feeling of security and self-justification and validation when you can call others clingy and feel like you are sought-after?
OP, Why does the current BF have so little awareness that this contact is bothering you? Aren't you & Happyhorse when they're in the same situation - putting out the signals to elicit and approve of this to some degree?
No one tries to snitch another's energy like a burglar breaking into a house. They are just doing what they learned; they came from a particular environment where people affected each other, demanded from each other, controlled, and taught kids (mostly unconsciously, by example) how to try to get their own needs met. Then kids reach adolescence and young adulthood and attract certain vibes of people to them to replay certain patterns that the higher self wants to have to reveal its own insecurities and room for growth.

Quote:
Originally Posted by happyhorse
I have started to "show" or being aware of when I notice people doing this. Some are just wanting to connect physically for bonding, but some do it as they have a lack of own energy. You need to show that it's not OK, by moving away and thus creating a physical sign that what they are doing is not appreciated, and they get aware of what they are doing. But only if you really feel that you know what is going on, and I'm pretty sure that you do as you describe what is happening in so much detail. I can really relate to what you are writing.

After that you have shown enough times that you don't appreciate their behavior, either they will find that you are hurting their feelings (not your problem in this case), and either change their behavior or stop seeing you. Emotionally, this kind of people behave like dogs, not to be demeaning in any way, just to give you some plattform to understand why they do as they do, and how you can act to encourage a certain behavior (that don't suck the energy out of you).

You have already pointed out that he has a problem, but he won't accept it. There is not more you can do to help him (sorry I am maybe a bit codependent so don't buy into my thinking that everyone should be helped ;) ). I have learned that my energy is sacred and no-one is allowed to snitch from it. If you don't have your own, start doing some work on getting more, it's not my job to share it with you.

If the situation is unbearable you maybe should consider ending the relationship.

The question why you are attracted to those kind of guys - maybe can be because that you also have some codependent tendencies (good book on the matter - codependent no more). But that is hard for someone else who don't know you to understand. Try meditate and sit with the question for a while and answers will pop-up. As it have happened for all you last three guys, maybe it's a pattern, maybe not. If it is, it's because something in your subconscious programming is driving you towards it, some part of you that isn't healed are leading you toward unhealthy behavior. As I said, it's not sure it's a pattern, but it could be. Sitting and meditating on a certain problem and just listening to answers that come by themselves is often rewarding for me, and I could really recommend it.

Best of luck! Keep your energy for yourself, and keep us posted.

//Happyhorse
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  #12  
Old 19-02-2018, 12:51 AM
evariste evariste is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 22
 
Haven't posted to this forum in a while but I have been experiencing the same problem as first posted :( It's been entirely perplexing. I've gotten a lot of feedback here and in another section I posted, but nothing is quite on the money. If I spend more than a few hours around my boyfriend I still feel the symptoms. Maybe I will go into more details... 1) completely drained, like I had almost all of the life force energy sucked out of my being 2) my skin/body feels warm and nervy/irritable, almost like a certain feeling I associate with the flu (sometimes when I get the flu my skin feels nervy and when I take a shower and the water hits my skin it is almost painful... reminds me of that). 3) very un-grounded. I have been earthing and using an earthing mat for over a year and can't live without them now. After being with my boyfriend it is like the opposite feeling of being earthed. I feel a nasty static-y charge, almost like a current was being run through my body all night. Similar feeling to experiencing too many EMFs from cell phone, ect. 4) Mental drain and brainfog. To the extent that I have a difficult time functioning for the remainder of the day after he leaves, and cannot do normal tasks. Also my text messages will become littered with spelling errors. 5) Sometimes it is as if my joints have aged and are somewhat arthritic.... Still asking, what is going on?! I am not buying the emotional/psychological/codependency theory at ALL (@SpiritofZoe, OEN34, happyhorse). I was raised by a mental health therapist, know healthy boundaries, etc. This feel more like a purely energy thing. Interestingly enough I am taking a class on supernatural Chinese literature, and recently there has been a lot of material about this notion they used to have about either women (yin) or ghosts (very yin) sucking the male lifeforce energy (yang) out of the man in the story and killing him or nearly killing him. Sometimes when I've read these stories, they go into great detail about the experience and I'm thinking, "That's me!" hahaha. The catch is, me and my boyfriend are both men :) So according to that theory, would be 2 yang energies and no yin around to drain us. The other thing I've been researching is this notion in traditional Chinese medicine about the unique elemental personalities we each have. I am definitely mostly earth and water. I would say my boyfriend is fire. I don't know how that would make such a huge difference. This is all so "out there" for me. I wouldn't actually believe this stuff unless I was so desperate for an explanation. I am afraid this relationship is literally killing me by slowly draining my lifeforce energy which cannot be replaced. :'( The problem is I can't just throw my boyfriend away, he is such a good guy and loving. I have prayed many times to my "guides" and guardian angel. No clear answer. It's like a "figure it out for yourself" situation.
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  #13  
Old 19-02-2018, 08:05 AM
OEN34 OEN34 is offline
Knower
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: England
Posts: 165
 
Two options IMO:

1) If it is that draining and you are convinced it isn't a psychological issue causing these symptoms, then end the relationship and be free from it.

2) Continue with the relationship but try even harder to work on yourself adapting to the symptoms.

On one hand you're saying the relationship is literally killing you slowly (quote), yet on the other you're saying you cannot end the relationship.

What gives? You can't have your cake and eat it.

He might be the most kind, gentle and loving person in the world, but if the energy isn't matched and it's causing you issues to the point you're miserable and drained around him, then the answer is very clear IMO.

Alternatively, look at diet, water consumption, vitamins and minerals, adequate rest etc.
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  #14  
Old 19-02-2018, 09:40 PM
evariste evariste is offline
Newbie ;)
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 22
 
@OEN34

I'm just hoping someone comes along and says, "Ahah, that's (insert energy explanation that makes sense), here's how to fix it." OR, if they were to say, "Ohhh... that's (alternate energy explanation), you're doomed," if it finally made sense to me what the root problem was and I believed it it would give me the confidence to end it immediately. But ending an entire relationship without knowing why I'm really doing it (just based on symptoms), seems to me like saying some body part hurts so it's best to cut it off (without even a proper diagnoses). I'm on this message board looking for a diagnoses I guess.

I've searched the internet as well... apparently this problem is quite rare, as I haven't seen a directly similar case, just some energy vampire stuff which has a similar flavor but not precisely the same as what I'm experiencing. :(
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  #15  
Old 19-02-2018, 10:10 PM
OEN34 OEN34 is offline
Knower
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: England
Posts: 165
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by evariste
@OEN34

I'm just hoping someone comes along and says, "Ahah, that's (insert energy explanation that makes sense), here's how to fix it." OR, if they were to say, "Ohhh... that's (alternate energy explanation), you're doomed," if it finally made sense to me what the root problem was and I believed it it would give me the confidence to end it immediately. But ending an entire relationship without knowing why I'm really doing it (just based on symptoms), seems to me like saying some body part hurts so it's best to cut it off (without even a proper diagnoses). I'm on this message board looking for a diagnoses I guess.

I've searched the internet as well... apparently this problem is quite rare, as I haven't seen a directly similar case, just some energy vampire stuff which has a similar flavor but not precisely the same as what I'm experiencing. :(

Others have chipped in, but it seems you're looking for something that is in-explainable.

There may not be a proper diagnosis. You're very aware and have have very fine, accurate details to a tee, so if they're there, they're there. It is what it is.

It's a case of like it or lump it, unfortunately

Oh, and I'd absolutely end a relationship if it was causing me huge discomfort like you say, even without a diagnosis.
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