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  #11  
Old 02-07-2018, 06:00 PM
Chrysalis Chrysalis is offline
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Here's a brief update. Last night, I cleaned up the negativity I found and built a structure of Light around your place. Now, I want to wait for the new energy to settle a bit before sending any spirits over to you.
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"The Children of God were moulded by the Hand of God which is called Awen..."
The Kolbrin Bible, chapter 5, vs 1

"But ask now the beasts, and they shall teach thee; and the fowls of the air, and they shall tell thee:

Or speak to the earth, and it shall teach thee: and the fishes of the sea shall declare unto thee."
Job 12: 7 and 8 (KJV)
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  #12  
Old 03-07-2018, 12:44 AM
Shinsoo Shinsoo is offline
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I gave you some ideas to explore that -might- shine light on your situation in the Past Lives topic you made.

If you have already read them and dismissed them, just ignore this post.
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  #13  
Old 03-07-2018, 01:12 AM
inavalan inavalan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ankhesenamun
...

Sorry for your predicament.

You'll get various advice, and it will be only up to you to sift through it for what could be helpful to you.

You should consider the idea that all that happens to you is the result of your beliefs, thoughts, emotions (fears, resentment, ...). To change your reality you'll have to change those firstly, then what'll happen to you will change too; your perceptions will change; your reality will change.

Regarding past lives, you had many, and only a regression that targets the cause of your current predicament might discover the true connection. That one cause could be from a chronological past or future life. You need a good past life hypnotist, or to use self-hypnosis.

As far as I know, there isn't a karma in the form of punishment, it is just a balancing of the waves that our thoughts generate.

I suspect that your current situation is caused by your beliefs, thoughts, and emotions that resulted from a trauma you suffered. What might've been the balancing in this life of a past life self's thoughts, spiraled down into your current situation because you didn't know how to deal with it. It isn't too late!

Good luck!
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  #14  
Old 03-07-2018, 03:54 AM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ankhesenamun
shivatar - that's an interesting thing that you point out. What you describe, people sensing my fear and vulnerability and therefore attacking (like a wild animal) - that describes people who are narcissists, ie abusive, manipulative, and downright evil. There is a theory that such people are demonically possessed. I can well believe that as I have indeed been in the presence of evil. Such evil people instill a lot of fear in me, and fear is always from a negative source.

You mention healing. It's difficult to heal when the abuse is ongoing. If it was in the past then yes, I could heal and eventually put it behind me. But I have to deal with attacks on an almost daily basis. Every day I have to make very quick decisions how to try to stay safe. Every decision that I make, down to such small decisions as when and where to go grocery shopping, is based on how to stay safe - I have to calculate where I can go at what time to at least try and keep attacks to a minimum, to try to avoid people that are stalking me. When walking or driving along somewhere, I have to think which way to go, when to cross a road etc based on which areas to avoid so as to stay safe. Every moment of my life is nothing but considering how to stay safe and how to avoid more attacks. I am in constant fear because despite my careful considerations, I keep getting attacked and threatened.

In such circumstances it's impossible to heal. I don't even have time to heal, to spend time concentrating on myself. All my concentration goes on what to do next and how to organize my life to avoid attacks, and on trying to cope with the constant shocks resulting from the attacks and threats. I'm in survival mode 24 hours a day, all that matters is surviving, dealing with the shocks, trying to get back to normal after each attack, thinking what to do next. There is no time for anything else, no time for quiet contemplation, for meditation, for doing something for myself such as having a hobby.

It's interesting that you say I should just show how I feel and not constantly pretend to be ever so happy. Whilst I am a very positive person by nature, and like to smile at people and enjoy the few enjoyable moments that I get, there are obviously many moments where I feel afraid, miserable, in despair. I learned to pretend to be happy even during such moments because people kept accusing me of being "negative", I got told nobody wanted to be friends with me because people want happy and "bubbly" people as friends, not someone who is sad or afraid. I got basically told it was my own fault that I have no friends and that nobody wanted anything to do with me, some even accused me of having a dark cloud over me.

So I started to put on a happy face towards everybody else even when I don't feel like it. Has this gotten me any friends, anyone who cares? No - I'm in the same position as I've always been, nobody talks to me, nobody looks at me, nobody wants anything to do with me. But at least now nobody can accuse me of being "negative".

I do think however that there is a spiritual reason for all this, whether a curse or whatever it is, because I have never heard of anyone suffering so much abuse, so many attacks, and such extreme misfortune. Not even people who are extremely depressed, loners, homeless, or in any other way seen by society as "not fitting in", are confronted with constant abuse from all sides. Not even the meanest of people are being treated with such contempt. Even the worst of criminals does not get hated on sight everywhere. There must be more to it. I just don't know what it is.

When you are ready to heal then you will begin the process. I suggest you don't put barriers in front of it though, like saying you cannot heal because the pain will keep coming.

The thing is if you heal you will be able to better deal with attacks, and you will feel more safe as a result of the healing. primarily because in order to heal you have to find safety! that could come from a routine such as yours, or it can come from beliefs, like believing that no matter what happens it is Gods will. This is not the only option of course, just what came to mind first since its of the most common and easiest.

If you have faith, you don't need to worry. You let God do the worrying. Right now you believe the choices you make and the actions you take somehow make you more safe than Gods choices and actions. You believe you can do a better job of keeping you safe than God can. Maybe thats true. But what if you and God found a way to work together, then that would be pretty amazing wouldn't it. God would realize your wisdom and only complement it, tell you when you are going to an extreme like being too cautious, or not cautious enough. God wouldn't tell you to have complete faith and throw out everything you know and want to do, God would only improve everything you do to make it what best serves you.

That's the thing about people, they are always going to have their own personal opinion and they are rarely hesitant to let you know what it is. If people are saying they cannot accept you for who you are then it's better to replace them with people who can. It's tough, no doubt about it. But it's better than restricting your expression of who you are and how you feel. Freedom is always better than restriction, well, generally haha.

Shallow people tell you that you are not shallow enough for them is a blessing in disguise. Part of you wants to be in that group but the rest of your being is saying it's time to find more compassionate and wise souls to share my time with. It sucks when what you want seems to be ripped away from you, but there is a higher purpose to things and if you just follow your happy you will find the purpose. That is an important thing to recognize by the way. Your happiness is not gone, it has simply moved to somewhere else. It has moved on to new people, new activities, new emotions, it has moved elsewhere and if you keep doing what you always have you will not find it. You have to explore and experiment. You must journey.

Being the way you always were is becoming repressive and burdensome for you. it's time for a life overhaul and to discover a new way of being that is pleasing to your soul. It sounds difficult, I know, especially in the midst of pain, but it's that difficulty that makes it a worthy challenge and also a prize that you will be proud of all your life.

Living in the shadow of other peoples accusations and expectations makes finding your happiness very difficult. It becomes difficult because peoples accusations and expectations are so varied that you can never please everyone. What one person calls negative and depressing to another might be an expression of vulnerability and trust, something they respect you more for instead of thinking less of you. In order to find happiness you need to let go of caring about what other people are going to think about you. You need freedom of expression and if you are focused on what another person thinks or wants in any way you are not being 100% present and focused with yourself. Just focus on doing what makes you happy, just be yourself, to heck with what everybody else thinks or expects.

No matter what, people are going to be transient in your life. Sometimes people will fade out from your life because of work or moving or family, but in general only a few people will be with you for a significant portion of your life. One is your partner, the others are parents/children/siblings. Because people are transient, its better to just do what makes you happy and comfortable. If they dont like it then they will be around for much less time and that is a good thing. if you are not compatible as friends its better to just move on than try and force it to work. It's always better to just be yoursef, your true self, the one that is happy. If you are not happy, it's because you are restricting yourself in some way or another. Usually with your thoughts, sometimes because what you fear others might think about you.

I don't want to say what you are going through isn't bad, but you are not alone in your struggle. Many people face different kinds of pain that is chronic and constant though. It may not be contempt like you experience, but there are far worse things to experience. One thing I've learned about pain is it always surprises you. Pain will always find a way to out-do itself. You think you know pain but then nope, you experience a new level of pain that totally makes you suicidal for a period of time. I don't know when I first truly experienced that but it was probably around my early 20's. Pain so great that death became an option for dealing with it. The term "infinite pain" has come to mind many a time before when trying to describe what I felt.

To be honest I love venting about how bad things are. I think everybody secretly enjoys it (and that might be why we have therapists! haha). I feel obligated to say "this isn't a compare your pain to my pain contest", because it isnt, but at the same time its kind of obvious that our pains are different but very relatable so it doesnt have to be said. All I wanted to say is that you are not alone. Many people face a life of pain, nearly constant, sheer, overwhelming, horrible, toxic, necrotic festering bubbling pain. Many people choose to go numb since it's just too much to bear on top of other responsibilities like working and having children or being in a marriage. Anyways enough about pain. Lets talk about the lessons learned in pain!

Kensho and satori are two words that describe the process of awakening in zen buddhism. Kensho is basically learning from pain. It is the moments of insight we have after we learn a painful or difficult lesson. Satori is awakening through insight, or basically moments where you realize deep truths about life while doing everyday things like meditation or chores or work.

A life of pain has a lot of Kensho moments. Maybe it's just bad luck, a curse, that some people have a life with a lot of Kensho and only a little satori. Maybe it is due to everyone having different temperments and methods that they learn best from. Either way, Kensho is a thing and it's a good thing. There is always a possible Kensho for pain, we just have to find it.
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  #15  
Old 03-07-2018, 05:09 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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After reading the opening post in this thread and all subsequent replies, I would like you to know that you are not alone here, because this sounds exactly like me.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret...

All of this used to really bother me...why was I abused? Why do people hate me no matter what I do? Why can't I make friends? What the hell did I DO to deserve this?

In the process, I put a bit of stock in the old adage "that which he resist, persists".

The fact is that certain people have a great spiritual power inside, which may not be all "love, light and rainbows" and the sheer intensity of it...What others sense you are capable of, but you may not know it yet, totally intimidates them...fills them full of fear and scares them a***less.

You may not want have that effect, but you have it anyway...and this personal power, fully harnessed, directed and used can be a source of great strength, in that you have the ability to control others, but at the moment that is all happening subconsciously. Can you imagine what you could achieve if you could actually control it through rituals and focused practice?

What made me see this...You take Shamans, take the Tantrikas or the Aghori Sadhus of India.. people hate them...persecute them...abuse them...and of course, they are going to curse those people themselves! Then when THOSE people have trouble in their lives...are suffering terribly...who is the first person that they are going to run to for help, despite the fact they totally hate them? The shaman or the Tantric priest!

Then, the black magic practitioner gets to decide whether they want to help them, or just laugh in their face. If they decide to be compassionate and remove the curse (without the other party even knowing they were), they will gain respect and friendship within the community...and a monetary reward as well...then the shaman can again decide whether to accept the money and friendships, or heal them and tell everybody to go to hell.

It is actually a very nice set up.
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  #16  
Old 03-07-2018, 10:08 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Just for the record, this potent inner power is NOT "bad" or "evil" in any way, shape or form.

It is actually quite neutral, ambivalent and non-plussed. It can be very loving, kind, generous, benevolent and is happiest just minding it's own business and being left alone to do it's own thing in total peace and quiet.

It will also overlook minor ignorance, shrug off the occasional abuse, "live and let live"... however, if the injustice is continual, repeated or unrelenting, this energy has a very dark side to it that one would NOT want to be on the receiving end of... because you know what happens when one pokes the bear too much...and then they will have nobody to blame but themselves.

I call it "Rudra's Rage".
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  #17  
Old 03-07-2018, 11:35 AM
SerendipityLizard SerendipityLizard is offline
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I’ll say right now that I apologize if I had missed anything important in not reading every post in this thread. I’m tired after a long day, and not exactly full of energy at the moment, but I still want to comment my own views on this to help.

Have you ever heard of negative entities or Negs’ ability to use glamor? This is the ability for Negs to be able to create the illusion of a low vibration for the person around them — this attracts several people who create cruelty in their lives, who actively not acknowledge their existence, or considerably abuse them.

The more powerful the entity, the more likely they will be able to create the illusion towards any mediums that they are acting out of their kind hearts. I’ve seen many cases like this before — in several past lives — and in my present life before — where it’s possible for certain entities to be so powerful that they can create a sense of belief in others to abuse them.

From the little I’ve read here, people are suggesting other reasons than a curse, but yes, in my opinion, I do sense an actual curse around you. Their ability to hide themselves is so powerful, they seem almost invisible. But yes, they exist alright.

Why are they around you? Not out of any special reason, but simply because they would enjoy making spite of any person they can hand over with. At the current moment, I sense them around trying to stop me but they can’t touch me through any of my formidable barrier.

Now, now, I have to admit I’m not actually experienced in this process in this life, but I do sense I’ve been doing this kind of thing in thousands of past lives before — which explains the ridiculous amount of negative spirits who tried to abuse me before I awakened, as revenge for what I’ve done to them in past lives.

Anyhow, feel free to send me a message here or a PM, and I’ll try to set up some kind of solution for you. I’ve been told just being near me already influences a powerful shielding rarely seen on this Earth.

I’d like to gain some experience for my level of abilities here, so it would help me to find extreme cases like this again. I would seem like such a waste of my experience to do just ordinary psychic readings — so I decided to only take requests that need extreme power for now. They do seem quite weak compared to one of my more recent works, so I hope there is something new to learn here.

Thank you. Feel free to ask for a channel from AA Michael on this issue if you’d like — I could contact the Seraphim in charge of protection archangels in the local galaxy if needed — but that would take a lot more energy, and it doesn’t seem necessary for beings who seem this weak, but I’d like to assure you with a plan B.

Thank you for your time, and I apologize for any delay in talking to you — I’m busy with a lot of work in real life, but I’ll come back as soon as I can. I require regular updates to make sure these negative entities are not blocking any information with my guides, so please make sure to find time for it if you agree to this deal.

Starting the process is simple. You only need to allow me the permission of your free will.

See you.

SL.
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  #18  
Old 03-07-2018, 11:47 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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One last thing, and I shall finish it off with this.

If you are going to be victimised and hated no matter what you do...

1. I don't know how financial you are, but get yourself a good Lawyer/Public Defender and if the authorities wrongly accuse you of criminal activity, you can say "prove it in a court of law or leave me alone, or else I shall be going straight to my local newspaper and Member of Parliament with this".

2, Do some charity work or volunteer somewhere...It is hard for others to hate you when you are giving up your time helping those less fortunate.

3. Involve yourself in a Church or other spiritual or religious group. The members of such cannot hate you or mistreat you, lest it totally goes against their teachings...If they do, you can start quoting Bible verses at them, making them aware of their own shortcomings in the personal application of their faith.

4. Get a medical certificate from the doctor, saying that all this ongoing stress is causing mental health issues, then get some supplies for a fortnight and barricade yourself within your house or room for two weeks without any external contact or communication. No phone, no computer... Eventually, others will just give up, unless the cops want to come in and break your door down.

5. Join a social action minority group for victims of persecution. You will find that those who everybody else hates, share a very strong loving bond.
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  #19  
Old 03-07-2018, 06:18 PM
dianamadalina dianamadalina is offline
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I have bad luck also. My neighbour's daughter bought a cat and named her Prinți after my middle name. That cat made numerous rows of kittens and when she entered in our house she made a mess. And that cat continues to come in our yard. I have to keep the door locked day and night as that cat might enter. When she enters the house she begs at the fridge for food.

This is how I suspect my daughters neighbour of black magic
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  #20  
Old 03-07-2018, 06:31 PM
Chrysalis Chrysalis is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shivani Devi
One last thing, and I shall finish it off with this.

If you are going to be victimised and hated no matter what you do...

1. I don't know how financial you are, but get yourself a good Lawyer/Public Defender and if the authorities wrongly accuse you of criminal activity, you can say "prove it in a court of law or leave me alone, or else I shall be going straight to my local newspaper and Member of Parliament with this".

2, Do some charity work or volunteer somewhere...It is hard for others to hate you when you are giving up your time helping those less fortunate.

3. Involve yourself in a Church or other spiritual or religious group. The members of such cannot hate you or mistreat you, lest it totally goes against their teachings...If they do, you can start quoting Bible verses at them, making them aware of their own shortcomings in the personal application of their faith.

4. Get a medical certificate from the doctor, saying that all this ongoing stress is causing mental health issues, then get some supplies for a fortnight and barricade yourself within your house or room for two weeks without any external contact or communication. No phone, no computer... Eventually, others will just give up, unless the cops want to come in and break your door down.

5. Join a social action minority group for victims of persecution. You will find that those who everybody else hates, share a very strong loving bond.

I agree with this as it's good advice because it addresses what you can do at the physical level. You gain control over what you're experiencing which gives a feeling of empowerment. Taking any steps towards just one of those ideas is a good start. It takes more courage to act despite what others are doing or saying.
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"The Children of God were moulded by the Hand of God which is called Awen..."
The Kolbrin Bible, chapter 5, vs 1

"But ask now the beasts, and they shall teach thee; and the fowls of the air, and they shall tell thee:

Or speak to the earth, and it shall teach thee: and the fishes of the sea shall declare unto thee."
Job 12: 7 and 8 (KJV)
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