Quote:
Originally Posted by yumi14
Yes. I've failed this current life and have no hope to get better. The only thing keeping me hanging on is the guilt I have if I left. Everyone says how selfish it would be for me to leave. They don't seem to see that it is selfish of themselves to expect me to linger in a miserable life. It goes both ways-the selfishness. I'm ready to move on and evolve. I've learned my lessons, believe me I have. But all the same, I have zero hope left.
When I say this, I'm being a realist. I'm always going to be sick. I know this. Is it fair for people to expect me to keep suffering? I've suffered now for over 4 decades. Its not going to get better. To me, they are idealists. They romanticise me as being miraculously cured. Its not going to happen. I wish they would grasp this concept.
I don't want to leave them to hurt them. Its not about that at all. Its not coming from a selfish standpoint. Its coming from a realistic standpoint. I'm suffering too much. I'm exhausted. I'm weary. I need my spirit to move on.
I'm always going to be with them. This is something they seem to forget.
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My answer is definately YES.
Ah another who is a bit like me, thou I havent lost the possibility yet that I could one day be cured thou its very doubtful but Im a logic thinker too and
Im in much the same situation as you've I first got sick over 17 years ago and my body is completely ruined (I have over 90 different medical issues and symptoms, medical complications just led to more medical complications) and Im so tired of this life. I deserve a rest.
There is many wonderful things here but there are many bad things here too and surrounding me, I have far more bad then good. So leaving this plane is alternative choice. They arent things I can do much about as its how others are treating me, gov depts (the dark side lol) which is making my physical life quite terrible.
Im in a situation of abuse and this has been going on for a very long time. (Im currently trying to take a states government dept to court for neglect of my health needs).
Im so sick I cant even leave my house by myself. I hardly ever get to see my earth family. Ive lost my friends from being sick for so long etc etc. My illness even prevents me from being able to eat the things others take for granted. Im reliant on others to take care of my house needs and cant even cook for myself much of the time. I miss my meals cause the support I get doesnt cover enough hours to help me with things which are usually thought to be essential. I cant even get to my doctors.
There truely isnt anything to keep me here anymore. Im so determined I want to leave after more government abuse, that Im now trying to help that wish along.
My family doesnt value me all that much but Ive given so much of my life to them eg I raised my sisters at times. My family hardly visit me and worst. eg my sister when I was in hospital after being ambulanced there and I rang her to come and be with me to give me some support as I was really needing it, I'd been put into the waiting room and left there and was worsening (this ended up resulting in me being found unconscious by a nurse on the floor of the hospital toilets). Turned out she had told her daughter she'd take her to the beach and that override supporting her seriously ill sister (note she wasnt 5 mins drive away from the hospital where I was).
So yeah, as far as Im concerned, I no longer own my family anything that includes staying physical just so they wont be upset.
Some of this world is nice or even beautiful (there is a lot of beauty here in this world), but there is so much unpleasantness too, I just long for peace.
And maybe with my passing if it happens, maybe something good can come out of it, Im a advocate for my medical condition and quite possibly a government inquest may come out of my death and the treatment I got (or rather didnt get due to discrimination which goes on in the illness I have). Ive taken my complaints up to the highest level I can in the gov depts without success