Advanced Lucidity

Finding out where to begin tends to always be the hardest in my opinion I couldn't tell you that. As for prayers or some one talking straight back to you, getting something back could be a simple sign of something that seems familiar to you at and odd point, to random feelings to that tell you to do something for no explicit reason but to just do so.

I was taught when I was young you pray to ask once then continue on that it will be done because asking more than once says that you don't have faith that it will be done shows that you don't have faith in god.

All I pray for.
Is to know what to do.

I guess asking my higher self. The prayer. Even talking to you. Meditating.
This is all spiritual practise and something I've repressed for longer than my memory.

I don't have a religion. I'm currently reading the gita and quran at the same time. But I know they won't help me. I'll gain insight and knowledge but no religion has the answer obviously otherwise we would live in a decent world.
Faith is free and everywhere I get that now.
And this has been a big year but. I wouldn't be seeking your advice if I knew what to do.
And I don't.
I need to feel closer my source. It knows what I'm to do. Otherwise I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have seen what I've seen.

....

I read a passage from the Buddha. Where his disciple saw the whole universe while looking g at arose.

When I read that. I knew that I've seen it. All of it. The flower of life is all I see when I close my eyes at any time... And I know I dabbled in my youth buts it's not a drug side effect and I'm very clean atm.

So like why? I can play any instrument and I've never had a music lessons.... I can write music but don't know how or where my songs come from.
I talk like an educated man. Yet it far from it.
And I'm seeing things and auras... And hearing things. And it's making me go back. It's making me come here to ask you.
It's all part of the path im on and I love recently can I see that

I want to be true. To god. To myself at once.
I'm all ears.
But.
Honestly. What do I do?
You can tell by now the extent to which I over think any possibility

I am going to send you a private message good sir asking if you would like to swap emails.

You read my mind.

[wstein]

First you are not crazy here.

You clearly need some healing around doing what you had to to survive childhood. That fact that you are not totally broken says a lot. Being able to be SO intimate with another tells me that your core is still intact. There are many ways to heal pain. Just know there is no shame in survival.

You had what is called a spiritual awakening. Having gods appear to you is certainly quite a shock to anyone, even those who are religious. Note I used the lower case 'god' not 'God'. Many spiritually advanced beings appear as if gods to humans. Often people will unconsciously map such beings into any advanced being they know. Usually the imagery comes from the religious icons around them. I'm not indicating if you met the actual Ganesha or not. Also I am not trying to put down your experience or judge it as not genuine. I'm just saying be open to the possibility that they are God in the sense one finds described in religions. There is no cause to go running towards a religion (nor to avoid one).

Frankly, I don't think lucid dreaming will be the most effective way to deal with your situation. Much more direct and effective will be to try to find out who you are (which you already know) and find some way to heal years of hurt and pain. Small doses of meditation will allow you to do both the above AND to keep touch with what you experienced in your awakening. Do not jump full into meditation for a while (a few years), as it will only overwhelm you further.

As to finding out who you are, you might try this to see it works for you:
http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...ad.php?t=53437

[loopylucid]

Hey ash, Ive no idea is this is going to mean anything for you, but have you tried finding a way to just stop for a bit now? Not stopping the awakening or whichever term is preferable, but stopping the seeking? Stopping the searching? Have you considered maybe giving up the need to know its outcomes, patiently being aware and seeing what unfolds, just for a while? Maybe its not time to seek more answers and advice, but to process and intergrate whats already there, and for now, deal with that. it sounds like a big influx for you, might be time to give yourself a little break, whilst it balances, Maybe now is a time to rest a while, allow a deeper awareness to come through and maybe in that, will come the knowing, in some beautiful wonderful ways :)
I know with myself, my mind cannot sometimes comprehend whats going on spiritually, and its only when I try and make it, I get myself all tied up in knots!
Anyway just an idea, I know its not easy to stop mind chatter, I also write music and its a very good way, to help the mind quieten and focus, a little respite, so maybe go headlong into that for a little while and then see how all those questions look after a little retreat, just some thoughts :)
I wish you much love on your journey, always.
Loopy