Taking Sannyasa

[Shivani Devi]

Namaste.

It seems that in light of recent events, I have reached a fork in the path and I have basically been presented with this ultimatum by my Higher Self.

Let's face it, I'm not quite over the hill yet but I am way past the 'householder stage' even though I often long for and pine for that life - to be with family and to feel the love and intimacy of a man. This desire, this heart desire for companionship and comfort has been disrupting my meditation and leading me into situations that compromise my celibacy.

I realise it cannot go on this way, but I also realise now that God is gonna be the only one capable of handling my energies...in fact, the more I give, the more He wants when mortal men only want what they cannot have until such times as they get it, then they want something else.

I've tried many things to rid my mind of these associations, these longings however I feel they are always going to be there, nagging away at my soul until I make the full and total commitment to Shiva - I just don't know if I am ready, but I also don't know when that will ever be.

Aum Namah Shivaya

[Wagner]

I feel right in adding the Buddha's precept that "everything is sorrow".

How do you feel that your practice will progress if you continue to deny that which is natural to your body and natural to your psychology? You will only create obstruction.

Constant mindfulness of God is what you seek. God is always there.

All things are holy. Human sexuality is the means of keeping humans around. My advice is to go towards your pursuit of that

If you choose renunciation, like me, then those things will be all put into the moon, or into God, or to live...

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Wagner

I feel right in adding the Buddha's precept that "everything is sorrow".

How do you feel that your practice will progress if you continue to deny that which is natural to your body and natural to your psychology? You will only create obstruction.

Constant mindfulness of God is what you seek. God is always there.

All things are holy. Human sexuality is the means of keeping humans around. My advice is to go towards your pursuit of that

If you choose renunciation, like me, then those things will be all put into the moon, or into God, or to live...

Namaste.

Thank you for your reply, but the obstruction has already been created.

I cannot create any more humans inside my body. I had an operation 20 years ago to ensure this. Procreation is not an option, nor would I ever choose it to be if I was young again and had that ability...but I digress.

Yes, constant mindfulness of God is what I seek...I cannot think of sex when I am thinking of God...right?

It seems that I just need to make more of a personal commitment to have that happen...to be in a position where God is all I could ever want and even IF an eligible man comes along...go 'sorry, I'm taken'...

I'm just over it, I guess...yeah, it would be nice...but at my age, my frame of mind, my spiritual practices and beliefs, my totally open heart chakra....I am not about to go out into the 'big bad world' out there and go through that whole 'dating business' again, or going onto RSVP and things like that....too much hard work for me.

I've been living the life of a hermit and recluse for the past ten years and it's totally amusing me why this should matter now...since my spiritual awakening when it hasn't really bugged me before....I was happy living alone before....until about a month ago.

I know in my heart I am already devoted to Shiva...maybe it's time for a more ritualistic representation of it, so it will stick...

Aum Namah Shivaya

[Wagner]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

Namaste.

Namaste

Thank you for your reply, but the obstruction has already been created.

No, that "obstruction" only exists within that medium called "thought." There is no obstruction to that which is eternal and pure and magnificent. You know this! :) I trust you. See my poem in the Poetry section, "Dash In to A trail Up"!!!!!!!

(No, I'm not trying to advertise my poem, I truly think it might help.)

Much love and well wishes!!!!

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Wagner

Namaste


No, that "obstruction" only exists within that medium called "thought." There is no obstruction to that which is eternal and pure and magnificent. You know this! :) I trust you. See my poem in the Poetry section, "Dash In to A trail Up"!!!!!!!

(No, I'm not trying to advertise my poem, I truly think it might help.)

Much love and well wishes!!!!

Namaste.

Thank you and I shall read your poem when I am in the mood to fully appreciate it.

Yes, it's all just thoughts...

I guess it's the same thought couples have when they go 'why get married? let's just live together...'

However, if one thought can negate another one, still that's a good thing...like if I truly believe that by becoming a sannyasin, I'm going to rid myself of all these attachments of the flesh, that's a good thing...

I briefly looked into flagellation last night too. LOL

Can't think about sex when one is in pain...right?

However, maybe hypnotherapy will help this...I need something that's gonna bypass my conscious mind sentry here.....why he let these thoughts surface in the first place is totally beyond me...

Maybe my awakening activated my first four chakras and I'm experiencing that energy and making the conscious association between my existential loneliness and the need to connect with another human soul on a very deep level.....still, I was reminded last night; 'don't need sex to do that'.

Suffice to say, I have a very pushy, overprotective, totally possessive and demanding Higher Self, who is basically the total embodiment of Dharma.

Aum Namah Shivaya

[Wagner]

My dear, you need to follow what your body is telling you! That is holy. Your "Higher Self" is most likely fueled by this if he or she asks itself honestly.

You are never alone. God is all that is and all that can ever be.

I appear to be contradicting myself, but EVERYTHING is divine. If it makes you happy then it is worshipful of your Dharma.

Never forget to ask yourself, "in what way is this a message of God speaking to me?" Ask this all of the time. When? All of the time. :)

[Shivani Devi]

Namaste.

So, why is it that I am seen as being 'unspiritual' or 'unholy' if I indulge in whatever my body is telling me?

Why is so much emphasis placed on transmuting sexual energy into spiritual energy for further advancement and growth?

How does one do that anyway?

I also don't know if I will be able to 'serve two masters' anyway, even though as you said 'everything is Divine'.

There's a point where we know it and feel it and a point where everything seems to contradict it.

Honestly, my Higher Self is busy in warning me about certain developments that it doesn't like...

I just get the feeling...I get the distinct feeling....could it be...God is jealous?

Aum Namah Shivaya

[Jeremy Bong]

Necromancer,

Finally I make up my mind and try to tell you something. Shiva is with me for quite a long time already.

Just now he want me to advice you, see all things in a positive way. Like, I am your friend and never have a feeling of/be your enemy or some sort .

Life is to be happy, enjoy every moment we feel things right or wrong. And don't put all we have in a box scattering them on more area about knowledge. I think you can easily do that.

Relax and enlightenment or dharma things will slowly fulfill our mind, not to be in a hast of time, take good care of yourself ,my friend.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Jeremy Bong

Necromancer,

I finally make up my mind and try to tell you something. Shiva is with me quite a long time already.

Just now he want me to advice you, see all things in a positive way. Like, I am your friend and never have a feeling of/be your enemy or some sort .

Life is to be happy, enjoy every moment we feel things right or wrong. And don't put all we have in a box scattering them on more area about knowledge. I think you can easily do that.

Namaste.

Thank you Jeremy and I am your friend too.

Yes, my Tantric teachings do, indeed tell me all of this...but my Patanjali half keeps going 'whoa, hold the horses right there!' This is my whole problem, in a nutshell.

It all goes back to Yamas and Niyamas - it all goes back to the preservation of veerya (women have this too, despite all arguments to the contrary).

Yes, I realise I shall rise by that which makes me fall and I hope that the novelty of this becoming an almost twice-a-week event wears off soon.

I think I got spooked by the whole thought of 'what IF a guy showed any interest in me and I liked him too, what would happen then?' and I realised that despite me wanting this one some level, I just wasn't ready for it anyway.

Like Django said in another thread, no Masters have ever advocated sex as the way to enlightenment....discounting Mike Meyers, of corz.

Aum Namah Shivaya

[Jeremy Bong]

Necromancer,

I know the meaning of your last sentence but what I said is more in general. Every guy may feel like you or me.

Last night I went up to Christian divine/heaven unexpectedly, they/ascended Christians were lining up on both sides of the road to a hugh building in heaven. So many of them as ministers sitting waiting for my arrival and my spirit are" still have a meeting with them".

So you see I never have expected this in my life and when time come it happens. You know what I said?