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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Soulmates & Twin Flames

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  #11  
Old 16-01-2018, 04:46 AM
starnight1 starnight1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue Tiger
Soul mates and twin flames status is based on something deeper and more spiritual than everyday life, preferences, and beliefs.

They are also, as I understand it, determined before we arrive in this lifetime. Things like being vegan or Christian are decisions we make during our lifetime, as we experience 3D life.

So making a list of must-haves that a soul mate or twin flame should have in order to qualify... doesn't seem logical.

If you were meant to be soul mates or twin flames, you simply WILL be. There isn't choice involved.

Now if what you're looking for is a compatible partner to build a life with, then your list is fine. Harmonious 3D life built upon similar beliefs is a really good way to do things.

Just don't get soul mate and twin flame involved in the picture.

You MIGHT meet a soul mate/twin flame who HAPPENS to check off all those boxes... but you might also find no one, or overlook a wonderful potential partner because they don't.
I feel the same way.....
more often we just seek a life partner to build a harmonious life.

soulmate and twinflame r very challenging thing, sometimes painful experiences.
I read some say twinflame will be harmonious though, soulmate just sent to teach each other lessons.
but i feel twinflame will teach even deeper lessons maybe? and this is also why sometimes twinflame will just run away cos the lesson is too huge......

maybe most people cant meet twinflame, only meet soulmate, twinflame is so hard to maintain on 3D,
maybe the twinflame still exist on another dimention to help us at the most?.....
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  #12  
Old 16-01-2018, 02:23 PM
jro5139 jro5139 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starnight1
I feel the same way.....
more often we just seek a life partner to build a harmonious life.

soulmate and twinflame r very challenging thing, sometimes painful experiences.
I read some say twinflame will be harmonious though, soulmate just sent to teach each other lessons.
but i feel twinflame will teach even deeper lessons maybe? and this is also why sometimes twinflame will just run away cos the lesson is too huge......

maybe most people cant meet twinflame, only meet soulmate, twinflame is so hard to maintain on 3D,
maybe the twinflame still exist on another dimention to help us at the most?.....

"I read some say twinflame will be harmonious though"... not sure where you read this, but it hardly seems to be that way for most. Have a look around this forum and you'll see it's anything but that for most.

TF seems to be lessons on an increased, accelerated level. In other words, you get years or decades of lessons in a shorter period of time. It also involves lots of purging and facing your self/ your demons/ your fears/ everything. It brings up everything that you have every been through and not faced or dealt with.
Soulmates give you lessons, but not at such an accelerated pace.
I think we meet our tf when we are ready to face that much self- truth and able to deal with that much lessons. And once you meet, even after separation, the connection never seems to go away again. So in a sense, yes they are always there from then on. You continue to sense them.
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  #13  
Old 18-01-2018, 07:42 AM
KB200 KB200 is offline
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Writing in progress.......................
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  #14  
Old 18-01-2018, 08:14 AM
KB200 KB200 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FairyCrystal
Maybe she came into your life to make you ease up on your demands, cos sorry to say, but you sound rather 'high maintenance'.
That is not a good place from which to find a deep and healthy love relationship, it's too ego-based.

I'm just going to copy and paste what I'm saying per reply to each person and tweak my reply if need be, because I'm trying to reply to people and some of you have similar responses, and this is my first time replying to messages on a forum and I only know half of what I'm doing or if all of you will see this reply.

First of all, I want to say that it seems like a few of you all have some misconceptions about me, and that there has been a misunderstanding about what I was saying in my post.

I don't think the things I'm looking for in a partner are "high maintenance" and I wouldn't think of myself like that either. I'm actually really laid back. I have this list of what I'm looking for in a partner/soulmate/twin flame because I've read books like The Soulmate Secret by Arielle Ford and Love Will Find You by Kathryn Alice (people who write these books specifically about finding your soulmate! ) and I've followed tons of spiritual love and relationship/ law of attraction/soulmate teachers and coaches who have said to make a list of what I am looking for in a partner, with traits that are most important to me and deal breakers. 3 of those traits that I mentioned in my post are a few that are most important to me. Lots of vegans have legitimate gag reflexes towards meat and I'm one of those vegans who do. I can't even be in the kitchen when my brother is cooking eggs. I hate the smell, the taste, everything. If I were to live with a partner who ate meat then I'm sure we would have to make a lot of compromises and sacrifices. I'd like to raise my future kids vegan and Christian when they are growing up. When they're older they can make their own decisions. There would be probably be a big conflict as to weather our future kids (I don't have kids yet) would be raised vegan or meat eater, Christian or athiest or whatever. Do you know what I mean? It'd also be nice to go to church with my future family. It'd be a lot better than going by myself. And also praying together before we eat our food at the table, worshipping together. That's really important to me.

I don't like the idea of kissing someone who's been drinking, I can't even stay up close talking to someone who is drinking because I can feel the uncomfortable sensation of their breath from the drink and the smell.

And I'm not saying she has to have every single thing that I want in a partner on my list either! I'm just saying that I have certain things that are really important to me because I think about the future and the relationship at large.

And don't we all have deal breakers in dating, and important things that we want in look for in our partners? And it's not like I said "I want a woman who has a billion dollars and is a 10 time Emmy award winning actress." That sounds pretty high maintenance to me.

But really I'm just here because I'm asking for help and I want to find THE ONE. The woman for me. The one I was made for. And I want to have a good happy and harmonious, life-long, loving relationship.
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  #15  
Old 18-01-2018, 08:28 AM
KB200 KB200 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorelyen
You could be in for disappointment if you make a list of "things I look for in a soulmate", a real soul mate that is, not a girlfriend you fancifully label a soul mate.

You need a deep affinity. The items on your list are important to you in any relationship but it'll have to go further involving trust, mutual support in times of trouble, a commonality of attitude and action in similar circumstances - and yet enough differences so you can engage with each other as in "be interested".

I'm just going to copy and paste what I'm saying per reply to each person and tweak my reply if need be, because I'm trying to reply to people and some of you have similar responses, and this is my first time replying to messages on a forum and I only know half of what I'm doing or if all of you will see this reply.


I know that trust, mutual support in troubling times, lovingness and and things like that, even differences, are important as well. I just didn't mention those things in my post but those are important to me too.

I have this list of what I'm looking for in a partner/soulmate/twin flame because I've read books like The Soulmate Secret by Arielle Ford and Love Will Find You by Kathryn Alice (people who write these books specifically about finding your soulmate! ) and I've followed tons of spiritual love and relationship/ law of attraction/soulmate teachers and coaches who have said to make a list of what I am looking for in a partner, with traits that are most important to me and deal breakers. I've also read that people have made these lists, made soulmate calls and attracted people they believe to be their soulmate and they have almost everything they look for on their list and they live harmoniously together with lasting happy relationships, they compliment each other in every way.

And I'm not saying she has to have every single thing that I want in a partner on my list either! I'm just saying that I have certain things that are really important to me because I think about the future and the relationship at large.

But really I'm just here because I'm asking for help and I want to find THE ONE. The woman for me. The one I was made for. And I want to have a good happy and harmonious, life-long, loving relationship.
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  #16  
Old 18-01-2018, 09:10 AM
OEN34 OEN34 is offline
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I think I said it in my original reply, but if you are a vegan, a Catholic (relatively serious one) and don't like alcohol (again, treat it seriously), then IMO you're absolutely right to find someone who practices those traits too.

There is nothing wrong with that, IMO. Imagine being with someone who ate steak each night, was an atheist and drank a bottle of whiskey a night, too?

You'd be sacrificing strong parts of your character in order for your partner, thus putting your own happiness behind hers.

Doesn't make sense, and you'd be VERY unhappy, as would she.
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  #17  
Old 18-01-2018, 02:26 PM
jro5139 jro5139 is offline
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There's no need to copy and past the same thing in every post, your posts are seen by everyone, unless you pm the person privately.

If you feel strongly about your list, then by all means, stick to it. Just realize that when you post for opinions you are going to get a variety. Maybe some assumptions were made, but it's difficult to determine from a post what a person's entire story is. It just seemed that from your post, you were more concentrated on what everyone else can do for you and to make your life more comfortable (maybe that's wrong but that was how your post came off). You seem to have a perfect- life picture in your head of how you think things should be... just to say that life rarely works out the way we envision it exactly.
My personal experience is that lists don't work, but that's just me and I may be on a different life-type path than you entirely. It all depends on where we are in our evolution. Be careful though with believing everything you read about loa, there are some out there that do not live what they preach.

Personally, I believe some people have twin flames and everyone has soulmates, but I do not believe in any such thing as "the one". I think this is something society tells us to throw us off (that's just my opinion of course).

As for kids, I didn't realize you didn't have them yet. There is nothing wrong with exposing them to religion. My kids go to church (and yes a Christian one). I want them to be exposed to religion and understand it. I also plan to expose them to as many religions/ beliefs as possible, and then let them decide what they want to believe.
I'm just letting you know that the more you try to force them to be what you want them to be, the more they will rebel against you. That's just how it works. When they reach the age of around 10, you will begin to realize this.
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  #18  
Old 19-01-2018, 02:02 AM
Blue Tiger Blue Tiger is offline
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Absolutely, search for someone to build a life with who is compatible with your beliefs and lifestyle. That's really a great thing to do.

Just don't assume this person will be your Twin Flame. A Twin Flame can be almost anyone, and comes along to cause inner growth and learning. But having a happy life doesn't depend on finding a Twin Flame.

Keep in mind that most people WILL NOT meet their Twin Flame in this lifetime.

So imho keep your list, search for a lovely compatible person to build a life with. You can't see into the future. Maybe you'll find your Twin next week, next year, or in 30 years... or in a future lifetime. Why wait? Build a happy life now.
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  #19  
Old 19-01-2018, 08:39 AM
starnight1 starnight1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starnight1
I feel the same way.....
more often we just seek a life partner to build a harmonious life.

soulmate and twinflame r very challenging thing, sometimes painful experiences.
I read some say twinflame will be harmonious though, soulmate just sent to teach each other lessons.
but i feel twinflame will teach even deeper lessons maybe? and this is also why sometimes twinflame will just run away cos the lesson is too huge......

maybe most people cant meet twinflame, only meet soulmate, twinflame is so hard to maintain on 3D,
maybe the twinflame still exist on another dimention to help us at the most?.....

The problem is i feel i can't settle down with anyone in a harmonious way anymore....unless i meet the twinflame or deep soulmate,will i end up single forever? mmm...:)

another question, i v a friend who passinately involved a woman, then they departed cos the man went abroad and focused on his other goals at that time, years later they met again by accident, the woman married and divorced with a child, the man was dating another....years later the man divorced with two children....they still friends, but they both know never will be a couple. the man gets emotional and other support always all the way along his dating his divorce and etc.
is this woman his true twinflame?
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  #20  
Old 19-01-2018, 11:50 PM
KB200 KB200 is offline
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Do people get a notification that I made a reply in this thread, like on Facebook?

These are the rest of my responses and what I wanted to say:

Quote by @jro5139:
“I'm not saying you shouldn't have qualities that you want or find important, but are you really going to turn down a possible great love because they eat different food than you? Sounds like a really limiting way to be to me.
Perhaps this woman is a soulmate to you and she has come help you expand your thinking (doesn't mean you will end up with her forever, btw).”


First of all, I’ve dated people who eat meat before and I’ve dated all kinds of people who are different and didn’t have everything on my list and that’s fine, and they were nice, some at least. But now I’m thinking a lot more into the future and if it would work out. I’m sure you read what I said earlier. That would answer your question. And I know I can’t make anyone change either. That doesn’t sound like love. Will I ever marry someone who lives a different lifestyle than me, or doesn’t check every single important thing on my list? I don’t know, but I know what I want in a partner and I’d at least like to think that I know a bit of what I need in a relationship and what is best for me, too, based on what I’ve learned from past relationships and what I know at this moment in time. Just like you or anyone else knows for yourselves.

Quote by @jro5139:
I agree with what FC said above as well, your idea of finding a partner sounds very ego- based. You seem more concerned with finding a compliment to you, than a real person with their own feelings and desires. When we find people who are different, if we listen to them and take other approaches and perspectives into consideration, we may learn something from them.
Just realize that when you post for opinions you are going to get a variety. Maybe some assumptions were made, but it's difficult to determine from a post what a person's entire story is. It just seemed that from your post, you were more concentrated on what everyone else can do for you and to make your life more comfortable (maybe that's wrong but that was how your post came off). You seem to have a perfect- life picture in your head of how you think things should be... just to say that life rarely works out the way we envision it exactly.”


Yes we have our assumptions when first meeting people but I’m surprised by the fact that I’ve gotten so many false assumptions in this thread about myself when all I came here for was help and insight. How do you really know something about someone by just reading one post? You should ask questions first before jumping to conclusions. I shouldn’t have to write an 8-thousand word post just so I’m not judged. All I came here for was to get help and insight and I’m none of those things you all said about me.
I’m not some kind of narcissist. If I was some ego based dude who only cared about myself and my own needs and feelings then I wouldn’t be on this thread asking for advice or insight about dating and figuring out what I should do in the first place, or thinking constantly about the situation and every possibility until my head explodes. This is the third time I’m having to write a reply before I get it posted to this thread because all of my typing disappeared when I tried to post it them before. I at least remembered to save my writing this time just in case. The whole situation is just making me upset-- I actually care about her just as much as I do myself or anyone else.
And don’t we all have a perfect life picture of how we want our lives to be in the future, in terms of any kind of situation? Sure, maybe it might not work out 100% what we daydream about, but we still think it and I don’t see anything wrong with that.


Quote by @jro5139:
“My personal experience is that lists don't work, but that's just me and I may be on a different life-type path than you entirely. It all depends on where we are in our evolution. Be careful though with believing everything you read about loa, there are some out there that do not live what they preach.”


Why don’t you think lists work? Apparently lists work for a lot of other people. It mostly worked for me in a relationship I think was possibly a twin flame or soulmate or karmic connection. She had almost everything I wanted in a partner, but one of the most important things that she didn’t have was that she was not a romantic and that made it very difficult for me. It was nice for little while. I don’t think it’s the act of creating the list itself but how it makes you feel in the end that leads to attracting what you desire.
What people are not living what they preach, and who are they?


Quote by @jro5139:
“As for kids, I didn't realize you didn't have them yet.”


No, I don’t have kids yet in any way.


Quote by @Marie:
“And you reject them just because they don't tick the box?? Do you see how empty and hollow this is? Excuse me, but that is what jesus talked against.
You're the one in error here not her. Your limitations of thinking. The programming from society. And upbringing. Magazine TV you name it. Think.
You never ever find true love by thinking she's gonna have to fill even one spot on your list. True love.. The look remains the same.”


They don’t have to be every single thing on my list. Those 3 qualities just so happen to be some of the things that are most important to me in a partner. If you’ll read my responses above in this thread then you will see why they are.


Quote by @Marie:
“And no you can't demand anyone to follow the religion no matter how true you feel it is. Such parents usually end up with rebellious children.
Jesus is free. He does not force. Ever.”


When I have kids I won’t force them to follow my ways, but I will raise them as a parent until they get older and if they make a different choice that will be theirs and I’ll try and have an open mind


Quote by @Marie:
“And, do you really hear how nuts it sounds, throwing a girl out you really like and have a connection with, just because she doesn't tick your box? Would jesus do so? What if you're meant to lead her to God?!”


Yes Marie, we do have a connection, but I’ve learned that somehow we have good connections with lots of people, or multiple people in life. Just because we have a connection doesn’t mean we’re meant to be or that she’s the right person for me, or me for her. And in this post, people mentioned that if you’re soulmates then you don’t have awkward silences. That the conversation just flows naturally.
When I chat online with this woman, a lot of the time we have awesome deep conversations. But when we video chat it’s mostly a different story. The last time we Skyped I tried to keep the conversation going by going on about Walmart. It wasn’t much of a deep conversation but it was interesting, I guess. I hear that when you meet the right person you don’t have awkward silences. It’s just peaceful when you’re both silent, and there is no awkwardness at all. You all are just being there together. But it doesn’t feel like that when me and this woman are silent (on Skype, and sometimes video chatting). It feels very awkward and like there’s a ticking clock and I have to come up with something to say.
Also, I don’t know if I’m quoting her right but I read in Love Will Find You by Kathryn Alice that “your soulmate won’t look past you.” Everything that may turn other people off, or things that might be deal breakers or unattractive for someone else or others, your soulmate will love about you. I’ve read that your soulmate will love every single thing about you. Even your “flaws.” I’ve also read in The Soulmate Secret by Arielle Ford (or maybe Kathryn Alice said that), that if you’re not feeling it with someone at first then you should at least give that person a chance and see how it goes before you make any decisions about whether or not to go further in the relationship or dating. And I have given and am giving this woman chance. Because she’s an awesome human being and I do like her, and I want to like her more, but it just doesn’t feel right. Regardless of any external situation or anything that I think or any nice feeling that I have about or with her for a moment, or anything that I want to think or feel more, it doesn’t feel right overall. It’s very sad and unfortunate but it’s true.
And if what Kathryn Alice said in her book about your soulmate loving all your traits and everything about you, then what if this woman I’m talking to isn’t my soulmate after all? What if I’m keeping her from being with her soulmate and vice/versa?
I read something about true love (soulmate or not) last night and it said as well that you just still love someone regardless of their traits. And that there is no wondering if they’re right for you. You just know without a doubt. So maybe this just isn’t true love. I’ve heard you should listen to your gut or intuition in life and my intuition just doesn’t feel right in this situation, even though she’s an awesome nice and caring woman.

My questions and stuff, apart from my responses above:

I know for sure I’m not looking for a twin flame, but at the end of the day, I don’t know everything that my soul needs in the end. I’ve heard that a twin flame relationship can be complicated. I’ve heard conflicting things about twin flames. I just know I don’t want to be in a relationship with drama and breaking up and getting back together and breaking up again and arguing and constant disagreements and heartbreak and stuff like that. I don’t need that and I don’t think that would be good for everyone involved. I know that I would like to be in a harmonious, lifelong relationship where the love is true and they’re here to stay until death. If a soulmate or twin flame relationship isn’t harmonious and they have bunch of disagreements then maybe it is not best for me. Maybe I should be with a life partner, if it will be harmonious and things like that. I don’t care if she’s my soulmate, twin flame or life partner. If we’ll have a harmonious relationship then that’s fine with me. Like I said, I don’t know what the future holds or what will happen. Nothing is set in stone. I just know that is what I’m looking for.

I grew up in a family where there was a lot of drama and heartbreak between my parents and even FROM my parents. I want to have a nice lifelong marriage and family in the future without drama or breaking up or not getting along, or constant disagreements. I don’t need anymore of that in my life. I really don’t.
I know a lot of you all believe that we have multiple soulmates and that’s fine, but I believe that we have one soulmate and of course one twin flame for each of us, like everyone agrees (about the twin flame). The multiple soulmates would be karmic connections.

Some of you believe that some soulmates are here for a moment and gone, or here to turn your world upside down. Those sound like karmic connections to me, in my opinion. They teach you lessons whether they’re here for a moment or here to stay.

And in terms of the whole harmonious relationship thing, is there a way to know which kind of connection will be harmonious and which one I want to attract into my life? Which one has the traits I’m looking for? Can you have a spiritual connection with a life partner like soulmates and twin flames? Is it possible to send them a spiritual call too (like a soul call)? Can they teach you important life lessons and help you grow into your best self like soulmates and twin flames? Will a harmonious life partner fight and have awkward silences? Will there be heartbreak with a harmonious life partner? Do they know what you're thinking even when you don't say anything?

Regardless of all of the different kinds of soul connections, I believe that we do have “The One” for all of us. That there is a lid for every pot. Tons of people have said they’ve found their “one” and live happily together so it must be true. Plus, there must be at least one person on this planet who just compliments us in every way and we compliment them, whether we have differences or not-- that we’re just two peas in a pod.
I hear opposites attract for some people. Maybe some people’s One partners have really big differences and maybe some other people’s One partners have lots of big things in common with them. A lid for each pot.

And now that I’ve explained myself and stuff, whether or not you all think the same or anything different about me, what should I do?
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