Dream meeting - mistake

[Realm Ki]

Hi,

(I just realized I never read comments to my older series of dreams, sorry guys, will go read now - life happened...!)

I dreamt of meeting a man, very specific face; general traits that I recognize in many of my exes, but an entirely new face to me, very characteristic. And in 'close up', in the dream, that's why I believe it is a message and a meeting, it was so 'in my face'.

Anyway, I don't remember how we came to talk to start with, we didn't know eachother. Or how we came to talk of a relationship...!

I think he just asked, like asking for my hand in marriage, but it was not awkward or unthinkable at all, in the dream. He asked if we should be together (romantically and committed, more marriage than anything else).

But he included a condition: He wanted a relation with someone who did not bring drama or ... [I belive it was "control" or "confrontation"].

My instinct was: "No, I can't promise that."

I've had massive control issues and I've not yet experienced a relationship after awakening. I don't know if it has healed my fear and jealousy. I cannot promise that it will not be a learning curve for me.

I started saying something like that - but my words were 'absorbed'. Like sound can disappear in a sound reducing environment. It simply didn't go anywhere, my message.

And then I changed my thought, I thougt it true; "Today I am a person without drama / jealousy". It is what I spend my entire person on, to live with life, in flow, with people, in trust and faith and honesty, no manipulation, suspicion.

He asked respectfully and with warmth: "Is that a 'yes'?"
I said, very safe and confident: "Yes."

We kissed; it felt indisputable. An unknown, but kind qne careful kiss. A very considerate and warm first kiss by all accounts, not sexual, but with a confident 'promise' of attraction, mild and present.

I woke up.

With turmoil, what had I done?!: "Said yes despite knowing better... Said yes to someone who put conditions on me like that... Kissed minutes after first meet. Accepted a relationship based on what?!"



So help out; Who was he? (symbolically) What the h-ll was the message?



The emotional turmoil is definitely from the mixed messages;
The demanding character - being kind and considerate.
My attempt to state my truth and hold my ground - claiming boundaries -being thwarted by existance itself.
My confidence and trust - in taking an action that defies everything I've tried to learn. (To get to know someone properly as a friend, before considering dating, dating for a while before being physical at all, not date someone who I am not compatible with and definitely not someone who cannot accept my flaws or that I make mistakes).

And not the least the deep felt, spiritual sense that this was safe and right (in the kiss) - after all the 'wrongs'.

Phew, this is really uncomfortable for me. I just feel certain that I am in fact not at all ready for any kind of romance yet, dispite the work I've put in and the power and grace I've gained in the past few months...

Thinking further; what if I had had my wings on/out at the time? [Read angel/higher self/guides/divine spirit] What would that have done with my sense of self in that scenario?

Firstly, the question would make a lot more sense. We're all knowing, it is quite possible to know what allegiances we want to engage in.
Secondly, his demand would be a sign of his need to grow more, not relate to me at all.
Thirdly, my attemt to answer as an insecure human, would have been nonsensical - and quite possibly be instantly cencored


So, as an angel it makes more sense, two divine beings communicating rather non-sentimentally, but with plenty of commitment, earnest-ness and warmth.

It still brings fear to me though; I am human too. I am not only divine and built of light and endless power; I a very flawed and insecure human too, who needs to learn to trust and give my power away, too, not only to always carry myself and stand in my own power always. I need that space, it may not be 'edited away' just because...

Yeah... because what??

Sorry, for the long rant. I guess I found some answers just writing this.

If anyone relates or has any ideas as to what this might be about, please feel welcome to respond.

I think the dream was to get you to be introspective.
You had to think in the dream about how you're not controlling anymore.
Might have been just to show you that you're past those old tendencies.

Or might just be symbolic on things you need to address romantically? (Want for affection, loneliness...)

I agree about not engaging in a relationship when there are stipulations or expectations laid fourth. If this was just a reflective dream why would you put yourself in that postilion?

Another thing i could see if you were placing requirements on your next relationship now. a list that needs checked off prior to you dating them?
Maybe being in the others shoes you would see how it could be constrictive.

maybe the whole dream was a reminder that you cant control anything but your perspective.

[Realm Ki]

Originally Posted by Perfection

it just means, 'avoid drama if you want to be in a long term relationship'.
]

Haha, that was so funny! Don't we all want to be that bride? Or be [i]with[/I that bride ;) eeeek!


Badcopy; I have to read your reply again, cause I don't think I got it. Introspective, ok.
I can see the restriction if I turn the 'camera' around, yes. The demands I potentially put on people I meet, and how that can affect them and the situation.

But restrictions are not all bad; I mean, I clearly I would not be a good match for this man.

(So why did the dream make it so, anyway and against my efforts to be truthful and forthright?)

And equally so, my restriction of not dating unavailable men (read married/dating, addicts, emotionally unavailable) will make some men unavailable to me, sure.

But that will be a good thing, since they would be unavailable anyway, if physically present - and they would occupy my 'dating space' so no one else could come in consideration. Apart from potential emotional damage we might do to eachother for whatever duration.

Ok, I'll read again now, see if I understand better. :)

[Realm Ki]

Originally Posted by Badcopyinc

You had to think in the dream about how you're not controlling anymore.
Might have been just to show you that you're past those old tendencies.

Ah, ok, I get it. To get me to reflect in the dream was the point itself.

Originally Posted by Badcopyinc

Or might just be symbolic on things you need to address romantically? (Want for affection, loneliness...)

Sure. I'm in a kind of limbo and have been for quite some time. And this would be a man I decided against in real life, for sure. Because I believe it would not be safe for me. If the dream is challenging me to look at my definitions of safe, I'm screwed. I have NO CLUE - i guess that's exactly the feeling in my gut that woke me. ****.

Originally Posted by Badcopyinc

I agree about not engaging in a relationship when there are stipulations or expectations laid fourth.

Actually, I do believe in certain kind of expectations and aligning them with a potential partner; fidelity? children? aspiration toward a life long relationship? honesty? alcohol/pot/other substances? there are more, fundamentals.

Originally Posted by Badcopyinc

If this was just a reflective dream why would you put yourself in that postilion?

This I don't understand. 'just a reflective dream'? As in a dream meant for me to reflect on my own (former?) problems? If this was only such a dream - 'why would I put myself in that position'? Why would I accept to be in such a relationship, in a reflective dream?

If thats what you meant then I am as confused as you; this dream was so weird and contradictory.

Originally Posted by Badcopyinc

Another thing i could see if you were placing requirements on your next relationship now. a list that needs checked off prior to you dating them?
Maybe being in the others shoes you would see how it could be constrictive.

Commented on this one before, yes, this did make me 'feel' the effect of such restrictions. The restrictions also had no effect what so ever - and perhaps that was one of the points; what people say and do are different things, it would not have mattered if my words had come out /been heard, I would still have engaged, my behaviour would not have changed.

And so, perhaps this is the message - if we're looking at the 'reversed angle scenario': "For all my good intentions, restrictions cannot be asked of others - it will always be up to me to evaluate people's actions rather than their words..."?

Originally Posted by Badcopyinc

maybe the whole dream was a reminder that you cant control anything but your perspective.

what? can I control my perspective? can't I control my choices? (Well, not in this dream, but that was pretty uncomfortable, too). my intentions?

Thank you for reading and reflecting with me, appreciate it.

To dream of a relationship or first kiss is usually indicative of feeling of lack of something romantic or affection.

But to throw in his stipulations almost seems as if you're supposed to be open to whatever is sent your way and allow it instead of trying to mold it to how you wish it to be?

last year i had a female come into my life that was not "okay" as far as my "needs and wants" and i knew them to be bad prior to going into it.
but she taught me a lot of things and the biggest is surrender to what is.

Even when i proved to her about Law Of Attraction. What she attracted came but not how she envisioned it to. this was even a indicator to myself that what i want wont always show up in the way i want it to. Most of the time it shows up as something i don't want but leads me to what i need.

Without her i would have never been in the place I am now to accept who is right for me when or if she shows up. It taught me that the best relationships usually form without noticing them. without either party putting labels and requirements on how they are supposed to be. Most of the best ones form while both parties are just being accepting of the other person.

all of that is logic and opinion. what i feel is exactly what you touched on. be present and you will be ok. In your dream the moment you tried to move away from presence and speak on fear of past and future you couldn't speak. also another indicator to accept what is and go with it.

Idk just a theory...

[Realm Ki]

Thanks for all the input. (And of course I'm lacking in the romance departement! . I've been non-dating for years! First I was focusing on recovery, then on my spiritual work for another couple of years, and the last 2 years I just kept on the spiritual path, knowing my 'TF' - for lack of better words would be on his way when the time was right. But here I am...
no less single. And yes, I'm in the process of beginning dating. I'm not quite there yet, but any day now... )


Anyway, I think many things can be learnt from that short interaction in my simple dream.

One of those jumped in on me from the outskirts; this evening it dawned on me the man might be a symbo for the apartment I just moved into;

It is almost like a marriage of a kind. Where I live, you have to have 20years seniority to get offered a lease, and you can only get signed up when you're 18, so around 40 years of age. And once you accept a lease, you're zero'ed - you can't get another lease for about 20 years, so it's sort of a once in a lifetime deal. I had planned to 'hold out' longer for a larger apartment, but life happened and I decided to chose the one I'm now 'marrying'. Without knowing much about it - you only get to see in once, in an open-house showing with about 30 other people - and these first days have really felt like being on first dates with someone I will spend the rest of my life with... :)

Luckily, I really like 'the guy', he even smells nice ;)

But it is not how I intend to do my dating, marrying first then figuring our if we're a match

Badcopy, I' happy to hear things worked out with your unexpected love, with learning and growth. Very good to hear.

Originally Posted by Realm Ki

Thanks for all the input. (And of course I'm lacking in the romance departement! . I've been non-dating for years! First I was focusing on recovery, then on my spiritual work for another couple of years, and the last 2 years I just kept on the spiritual path, knowing my 'TF' - for lack of better words would be on his way when the time was right. But here I am...
no less single. And yes, I'm in the process of beginning dating. I'm not quite there yet, but any day now... )


Anyway, I think many things can be learnt from that short interaction in my simple dream.

One of those jumped in on me from the outskirts; this evening it dawned on me the man might be a symbo for the apartment I just moved into;

It is almost like a marriage of a kind. Where I live, you have to have 20years seniority to get offered a lease, and you can only get signed up when you're 18, so around 40 years of age. And once you accept a lease, you're zero'ed - you can't get another lease for about 20 years, so it's sort of a once in a lifetime deal. I had planned to 'hold out' longer for a larger apartment, but life happened and I decided to chose the one I'm now 'marrying'. Without knowing much about it - you only get to see in once, in an open-house showing with about 30 other people - and these first days have really felt like being on first dates with someone I will spend the rest of my life with... :)

Luckily, I really like 'the guy', he even smells nice ;)

But it is not how I intend to do my dating, marrying first then figuring our if we're a match

Badcopy, I' happy to hear things worked out with your unexpected love, with learning and growth. Very good to hear.

Your interpretation sounds spot on, I'm glad you figured it out.
And it really wasn't a love. Her soul was very attractive but the mind aspect was a big turn off. Me engaging and becoming friends was all that I really do when I cross paths with someone I find attractive or drawn to. Can't date anyone if I don't love their "crazy". and the "crazy" doesn't come out As easily when they're trying to get you to like them. Plus some people are unhealthy for empath's.

Been doing what you said. Working on self. Not concerned with dating to be honest.

I realized the other day that every time I start getting really far ahead I get thrown a test to see how good I really am doing.

Kind of like climbing a mountain. Every time I'm about to get to the top someone swings by and wants me to go back down. I'd rather get to the top first and see who's up there...

[Realm Ki]

Kind of like climbing a mountain. Every time I'm about to get to the top someone swings by and wants me to go back down. I'd rather get to the top first and see who's up there...

Love the image :)