Why does it work in old times or no idea of twinflame?

[OEN34]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

In old times people didn't have the option to leave a marriage, so once in, they were in for life whether they liked it or not. They had to make the best of it. And I'm quite sure many weren't all that happy at all.

Completely agree!

There's been a few old couples I have known throughout my life, even going back to when I was a kid, who have told me they have stayed together as it was hugely frowned upon back in the old days.

Times have changed tenfold since back then. I believe a lot of relationships that were 40-50 years etc were miserable truth be told, but it was accepted and they just cracked on with it. Almost the norm, and they had to save face and prevent feeling shame, so staying together was easier than going separate ways. Ticking the boxes so to speak. Marriage, children, etc etc.

There is obviously many who are and have been super happy too.

[FallingLeaves]

most of history is from the male point of view... wars and conquest featured a lot. And also for a lot of history, women haven't been as free to express themselves as they are recently... and the internet has really allowed a lot of energy to coalesce around this concept. There also may have been a concept that marriage was to be taken more seriously than we take it today once it was entered into.

All that said sometimes something has peeked through in literature, for example the story of romeo and juliet. And there has been at least one historical figure who was lost in this sport as well from what I can tell...

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by OEN34

Completely agree!

There's been a few old couples I have known throughout my life, even going back to when I was a kid, who have told me they have stayed together as it was hugely frowned upon back in the old days.

Times have changed tenfold since back then. I believe a lot of relationships that were 40-50 years etc were miserable truth be told, but it was accepted and they just cracked on with it. Almost the norm, and they had to save face and prevent feeling shame, so staying together was easier than going separate ways. Ticking the boxes so to speak. Marriage, children, etc etc.

There is obviously many who are and have been super happy too.

Yes and not just shame... how was a woman supposed to make a living? We haven't had the freedom of having a career for that long yet...
In between the 2 world wars it was only allowed/done thing for a woman to have a job as long as single as a nanny or stuff like that. As soon as she got married, she was supposed to be wife and become mother.
Even in the 60s and early 70s is was difficult, depending on which country you were in and I think especially men could get ridiculed for "needing a woman to keep him", him not being man enough. That sort of thing.


As for not being happy, that is still the case with people who daren't split or stay together cos of societal pressure (religion, family, money maybe etc.).
Just look in people's eyes or the general expressions on their faces... I think there's more unhappy ppl in relationships than happy ones to be honest. I rarely see an elderly couple still clearly loving their spouse. To be honest, most look miserable as bleep, haha.

[Inika]

In between the 2 world wars it was only allowed/done thing for a woman to have a job as long as single as a nanny or stuff like that. As soon as she got married, she was supposed to be wife and become mother.

weren't some of the woman working in factories making the bullets and weapons as their men were away fighting war?

marriage was taken seriously. i guess spiritual love like a twin or soul mate would have been mocked out of town. they may have thought it time to take you to the dr or asylum if you wanted to do chakra alignment with your husband instead of passing him his slippers and pipe.

I think one must take account of a far more cohesive society until about the mid 1960s when values changed sharply. Women and men had clearly defined roles.

Marriage was about family and if nothing else that gave a couple "purpose". Traditionally woman was a mother and homemaker, man went to work to pay for the family. I hear cries of "inequality!!" but I've never seen it like that. There may not have been equality but there was parity.

Agreed, marriages did fail and could be ended (unless you're a Catholic) but many survived and enjoyed at least some happiness specially when the partners grew older. Many were very happy it seems. I look among family friends, mostly aged and retired now and the couples seem happy. Notably they don't keep dwelling on it.

But from what I'm told, society as a whole was happier and crime (in the UK) was a fraction of what it is now. It wasn't so good for children but at least they were regarded as "mature" enough by about about 16 to get married, to join the boy soldiers etc. When the kids were at school some women chose to work to have an income of their own. It worked. The social mechanisms were there to facilitate it including (I suppose) religion and the ritual of churchgoing (which is why we still have the weekends off - Saturday afternoon for courtship, Sunday for church).

They aren't times I'd particularly like to live in myself although the 1960s sound great and this was the time when this spirituality stuff started to blossom.

Are women and men happier these days for their freedoms? I doubt it. Twin flames, soul mates, inter alia, all the labels have given choice - but I don't need to come here to see that the domestic world isn't a better place. The sense of duty has been swapped for the cult of the individual which has driven wedges between and led down a path of materialism and greed.

Women have swapped parity for a false "equality". They farm out the upbringing of their children to any agency to bring up, the moment maternity leave is up... a sort of privatised Brave New World.... then wonder why they never know their kids, can't protect them from the growing ravages of social media.

So I'd speculate that those couples who do survive to the end are just as happy now as they might have been in former times. in spite of latter day spiritual fashions. They just got on with it - unwittingly concentrated on duty rather than rights and entitlements.
.

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by Inika

weren't some of the woman working in factories making the bullets and weapons as their men were away fighting war?

Yes, because there was no other choice. After WW1, however, women were forced back into the kitchen. Or to jobs like being a nanny.
WW2 same thing, women had to keep the war industry going at home. But when they tried to push them back into being cooks and wives it didn't work out anymore. The change had begun. Women had learnt what it was like to work, make (their own) money, many had started to smoke and so on.

For women and (at some point getting) equal rights, both WWs have had a major role to play.