very intense longing for a person I can not be with - need help to make sense

So, I'd really appreciate some help to make sense of this.

There's a man I first met over a decade ago who I am drawn to in extreme and inexplainable ways. It's like a really, strong, magnetic pull, and when we have spent time together it has felt magical and also very peaceful. It's mutual.

Long story short, in different circumstances we might have been together but we have never managed to meet when both of us were single. We have spent years in between our few encounters (which have mostly been random) where we have not been in touch.

A bit over two years ago we met ago again through work and it said BANG. We had lunch and coffee together. Afterwards, I cried for a week because I felt this extreme longing for him, but I knew we could never be together because by then I was married. It really felt like I was mourning someone.

Since then, I have thought about him EVERY DAY. It is really haunting me and I feel it's an extreme obsession that I can not get rid of. I realise that this has probably, in the end, nothing to do with him or us, and only to do with some kind of weakness that I have inside me. But I can't make sense of it, I can's stop the obsession, it's ripping me apart with doubt and guilt (since I am doing this to my H), and I feel so helpless. I don't know what to do, how to make sense of it, or how to get over it. Is it just a child like infatuation? Is it grounded in a weakness in me that I can't identify myself? Is it karma?

Any insight highly appreciated.

[Sarian]

I can appreciate where you are coming from, been there, done that, got the T-shirt. While I'm very hesitant to bring it up...there's another board that might give you insight...but I don't want to plant that seed into your head either..

I know I've had to analyze and re-analyze myself and try to understand what was 'wrong' with me as well.

It actually nice to know I am not the only one.... I have been in the exact same position... I fought my self over it many many times! I actually feel a lot the same as how you explain. The only thing that help me is to "get over it" is meditation and just letting it be... There is a strong connection with out a doubt, and it drives me a little insane at times. But just letting it be and coming to some understanding that its going to be what its going to be. I just give it to my God to handle.

Maybe the person that you are suppose to be with will be 10x's more amazing that what you have with this other person. ;)

Originally Posted by Sarian

I can appreciate where you are coming from, been there, done that, got the T-shirt. While I'm very hesitant to bring it up...there's another board that might give you insight...but I don't want to plant that seed into your head either..

I know I've had to analyze and re-analyze myself and try to understand what was 'wrong' with me as well.

Thanks, Sarian. I appreciate that you don't want to discuss the specifics of your situation, but do you have any 'generic' advice in terms of how you moved forward?

Originally Posted by Lindsay_1177

It actually nice to know I am not the only one.... I have been in the exact same position... I fought my self over it many many times! I actually feel a lot the same as how you explain. The only thing that help me is to "get over it" is meditation and just letting it be... There is a strong connection with out a doubt, and it drives me a little insane at times. But just letting it be and coming to some understanding that its going to be what its going to be. I just give it to my God to handle.

Yes, that is what I'm trying to do, to let it be. I know that 'theoretically', but I'm finding it extremely difficult to act upon and not to pursue my own thoughts of longing. Sometimes I just get very frustrated and ask myself how long I have to battle with this

Originally Posted by Lindsay_1177

Maybe the person that you are suppose to be with will be 10x's more amazing that what you have with this other person. ;)

Yes, absolutely. I think I'm quite realistic about the long term potential in the sense that if we had been able to be together, I don't necessarily think (well, the situation is more that I really don't know) that we'd have the compatibility needed.

In general, I don't really think there is one person I am supposed to be with, there are just degrees of a good match.

I was glad to read that it's not only me. I'm glad for you that you managed to let go, at least to a great extent.

I know the feeling of it being unbearable. :( Hang in there! Ill send you over some love and peace.

Its such a complicating thing and I even feel like I cant even explain my emotion but I feel the energy you are putting out and I completely connect with you on this one and know how you feel. I hope you find some peace with this situation. I have not had to suffer threw it nearly as long as you. I wish I had a better response for you other then I understand.

Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

In total it has been over a decade now. I just want it to go away. I still feel I'm mourning. It's ridiculous