I Feel Troubled

[NeterKhet11]

It's been over a month since we communicated; the last time was online. Typically when she starts ghosting she neither answers or returns my calls. Neither did she contact me on my birthday which was on the New year. She asked that we give each other space at least for a month and if it's meant to be according to her, we will surely fall back in.

Just recently I saw her picture on social media with her son and I just felt this strong urge to hear from her since it has been such a while. It seems I have been the one waiting and it's becoming painful. I'm getting headache over this and stressed. You know how it feels as if nothing is moving and it's so bad for me right now. Being in limbo is such a terrible and unbearable experience and I am seeking a way out of this emotional storms within my being. Moments like these make me feel bad as to why all these happened. I feel I could have been a lot happier if all these never happened in the first place.

It feels lonely decision wise and I really need help as to what to do. Should I get in touch with her?
I'm really wondering now. I will appreciate your time and response.


Yours Sincerely.
NeterKhet11

[LonLon]

NeterKhet11
Maybe you need to hear form others, too but why don't you just ask her if she needs more time or not?
but I need to ask you this, too tho Can you? Can you wait for her "till the end"?
If the person is really sincere, he or she would say that he or she will wait for you forever...just like you hear in love songs million times!!

Joking aside, sincerity does matter whether it is romance or not, especially when you are dealing with Scorpio woman...
If you show her even the slightest self interest in you in your approach, she'll sense it right away and will not believe your sweet words.

Are you sure you're not doing this due to your desire to indulge in romance with her? Forget about romance for a while. You gotta respect her feelings.
Water sign people like her see emotions as one of the most important things (Fire sign:solve problems by action_Air :by thinking _Earth (you): according to the reality) in human relations.


So I'm thinking, it's been going on like this;
You: I want you to act according to our goal of solidifying our twin flame relationship. Let's take this opportunity and be practical.
Your woman: Ohh you don't even care how I feel. SAD (or MAD). I'm not interested in having TF relationship with you anymore...

*info regarding the elements' different principles:https://trans4mind.com/personal_deve...iplicities.htm
*Edit: oh no I skipped the important part! Earth element and Water element usually get along very very well, since Water needs container for it to stay so Earth can help them be sustained and accepted, whereas Earth can enjoy the affluence Water brings to them by showering. So you guys need each other. Just avoid any businesslike, cold attitude toward Water people.


Show both sincere attitude and words and tell her you'll wait for her forever.
But can you do it? Do you mean it??

[Akira]

Hi there
I have to be honest, I think that you are expecting too much of this relationship. Seperation and breaking down of a relationship is a very traumatic event and there is a child involved.

This is not about you - as humans we tend to grow attached to others and then we transfer our needs onto them. She is not there to fit in with your time lines ...

Originally Posted by NeterKhet11

Now it will be a month in exactly 4 days and no communication has transpired though I do often see her online on social media happily interacting and scheduling meetings with people, groups and taking pictures with them. Yet I was thinking to myself if this was the same person who about a month ago said she needed to sort herself out and find her balance. It all felt out of place for me as she even seemed to have ignored my birthday which was on a New Year....all of these didn't matter much but there are moments where I feel emotional and it gets to me in times like this. She asked for a month but I have decided personally without telling her to make it 2 months. Not that I'm having expectations but I feel doing that will give me time to perceive what might come up as closure.

Your words here to me say that you are waiting, waiting for her to connect to you. If someone says that they need space, they need space. It does not matter if she is interacting with others she has that right. What is it within you that needs to be noticed here, how can you give yourself this feeling rather than expecting it from her?

Originally Posted by NeterKhet11

There were Moments where she would suggest we meet but knowing the nature of our connection I was willing to make her and us wait so she can handle her issues and conditionings especially her current commitment as I did not intend to get physically involved too soon. In the midst of everything she eventually moved out of the house but not the marriage. I could recall her feeling all sorts of emotions after making that move even though we had yet to meet. So I gave her the space she needs and planned to meet up a month after she moved out.

Here you say you were willing to make her and us wait - this is not your call. In fact it is a little unhealthy. Great spiritual understanding comes from the knowledge that we are to accept things as they are, not aim to direct others and ourselves to a conclusion that comforts us alone. Did she actually plan with you that she wanted to meet a month after she moved out? If she did then this is good, however if this was a thought in your own mind, it may be time to re-check in with yourself and your expectations re: this connection.

I love that you got to meet her and experience some joy in this, yet I also feel your pain at her withdrawal and the pull me closer, push me away dynamic that is appearing for the two of you. Whatever your connection and especially if it is a tf relationship - the dance has started. The dance will teach you a lot and honestly, there are no twins that just meet and then get together straight away. This stuff can take years.

The timelines have shifted, however, regardless of this, the inner development still has to be actioned and both parties need to feel as if they are contented to be with one another. The work comes from seeing your pain within and not making it about the other. As long as you are looking outside the relationship will stay in a 3rd dimensional reality.

From tales of old some twins in the old timelines took 20, 30 (maybe even 40 for some) years to get together. Despite the planetary changes there are still pauses in connection and adjustments needed. Maybe the new timelines will bring twins back together quicker. However, this is only if the twins themselves wake up to their own behaviour and expectations of the other.

It takes guts and real inner reflection to truly make such a relationship work. Also it takes real inner resolve to be sure that the person truly is your twin. If we get this part wrong, we stay for a long time with someone that is never going to be right for us.

Wow, I have written a lot _ I never usually respond with this much. I hope it helps you a little and if you need any further clarification, etc feel free to ask.

[LonLon]

Originally Posted by Akira

From tales of old some twins in the old timelines took 20, 30 (maybe even 40 for some) years to get together. Despite the planetary changes there are still pauses in connection and adjustments needed. Maybe the new timelines will bring twins back together quicker. However, this is only if the twins themselves wake up to their own behaviour and expectations of the other.

It takes guts and real inner reflection to truly make such a relationship work. Also it takes real inner resolve to be sure that the person truly is your twin. If we get this part wrong, we stay for a long time with someone that is never going to be right for us.

Awesome response from Akira. yiiikeess 40 years!! still, real love wins all

[NeterKhet11]

Originally Posted by Akira

Hi there
I have to be honest, I think that you are expecting too much of this relationship. Seperation and breaking down of a relationship is a very traumatic event and there is a child involved.

This is not about you - as humans we tend to grow attached to others and then we transfer our needs onto them. She is not there to fit in with your time lines ...

Your words here to me say that you are waiting, waiting for her to connect to you..

Thanks very much for your time and response!


In something that looks like closure. She finally decided to get in touch after almost two months of asking for space to find her balance.

She started by saying she knows she can't be silent forever so she decided to say few words. She was thankful as she said I was her first true Spiritual friend who opened her heart to love and self acceptance. She says she has enrolled in Spiritual classes and she feeling so peaceful and positive. And at this point she says choosing herself is what makes her very happy at the moment. According to her she can never forget me and it was nice knowing me. She's Scorpio by the way.


When I tried to probe into why she doesn't want us to be together, she was like she doesn't think it is a must for us to be together. I asked that we meet but she said she has no desire maybe someday. It seemed the more I tried to find out how she will handle the journey on her own, she got snappy and I just had to retreat. Our conversation occurred online just a few minutes ago.


I tried to know whether she plans to walk the path alone but she refuses to answer my question saying our discussion has ended. She says she doesn't desire it anymore and as for now will rather use her gifts. I guess I was pushing at some point expecting her to see why we must get together. It seems all her desires vanished.


I even tried to know where she is currently but she just cut it off...


I feel troubled though I desire the best for her and us. As far as she is concerned whatever I think now is my opinion.

This really got me... I feel quite calm now but I can hardly tell how I'm going to feel once the dust settles down.

This is the reality I'm faced with now...I need help and support on what to do and how to pick up the pieces as I look forward. I will appreciate this.

[NeterKhet11]

Originally Posted by LonLon

Awesome response from Akira. yiiikeess 40 years!! still, real love wins all

In something that looks like closure. She finally decided to get in touch after almost two months of asking for space to find her balance.

She started by saying she knows she can't be silent forever so she decided to say few words. She was thankful as she said I was her first true Spiritual friend who opened her heart to love and self acceptance. She says she has enrolled in Spiritual classes and she feeling so peaceful and positive. And at this point she says choosing herself is what makes her very happy at the moment. She's Scorpio by the way.

When I tried to probe into why she doesn't want us to be together, she was like she doesn't think it is a must for us to be together. I asked that we meet but she said she has no desire maybe someday. It seemed the more I tried to find out how she will handle the journey on her own, she got snappy and I just had to retreat. Our conversation occurred online just a few minutes ago.

I tried to know whether she plans to walk the path alone but she refuses to answer my question saying our discussion has ended. She says she doesn't desire it anymore and as for now will rather use her gifts. I guess I was pushing at some point expecting her to see why we must get together. It seems all her desires vanished.

I even tried to know where she is currently but she just cut it off...

I feel troubled though I desire the best for her and us. As far as she is concerned whatever I think now is my opinion.

This really got me... I feel quite calm now but I can hardly tell how I'm going to feel once the dust settles down.

This is the reality I'm faced with now...I need help and support on what to do and how to pick up the pieces as I look forward. I will appreciate this.

[LonLon]

NeterKhet11,
Well I think the fact that you got a response from her is a very good thing!!
So I'm happy for you...

You know maybe, she's not your tf, but a soulmate (she said her first true spritual freind, no?), or even a karmic one.
If she's your tf, you'll be reunited no matter what. As you may know since many of us keep talking about this, that reunion process can indeed take a lot of time.

You could feel a strong bond between karmic/none karmic soulmate relationship, I would even say that as for my own personal experiences of quite a few of my soulmate relationships, the degree of drama was even worse and desire of few of them to indulge in romance was also way worse too!! I couldn't handle the intensity of it sometimes.(hey, doesn't this sound familiar?)I didn't know anything about tf at that time thankfully so that definitely helped me not to confuse any of those relationships with tf one.
In contrast to those, in the current tf connection my partner didn't force anything except when he initially tried really hard to make me aware that I am the opposite sex...and the only time I had emotional turmoil was whenever I tried to reject the 5D connection with him at my 3Dself mentality, so in the actual relationship at 5D, there's nothing but peace here.


So please NeterKhet11,keep in mind that she doesn't have to be your tf.
Seeing how she's been acting, the possibility she's not the one is quite high.
Maybe she wants you to know that she's not so you can move on just like she does.
In any case, it must have been something you and she both needed to go through in order to promote you guys' spiritual awakening. At least it looks like she's aware of that so she's not trying to be judgmental on what have happened between you guys at least for now....and I personally think she's doing the right thing. She's thankful, and wants to move on. I think you should thank her, too.

I'm afraid you still seem to be putting your self interest and desire first in this relationship. I know that may work for any other relationship including soulmate one, but no way for tf. Sounds like this is nothing but a lesson you need to learn in order to move on.

Anyway, I sincerely wish all the best for you two. You did have a good, priceless experience NTL, NeterKhet11.
and I just want to point out it's totally up to you how you make the most out of what you learn/experience.

[NeterKhet11]

Originally Posted by LonLon

NeterKhet11,
Well I think the fact that you got a response from her is a very good thing!!
So I'm happy for you...

You know maybe, she's not your tf, but a soulmate (she said her first true spritual freind, no?), or even a karmic one.
If she's your tf, you'll be reunited no matter what.

Hey @LonLon thanks for your reply!

It has been 4 years since this discussion happened and in the 5th year since my encounter with the one-time twin flame

I can recall that 3 months after I made this post, I reached out again just to check up on her whilst making it known how I care about her among other things (on the premise that she said tfs do not need to be together which was her current perspective).

The goal of the interaction was not to get her to do anything but to just be assured of my boundless and ever present loving energy towards her which she effectively repaid with harsh and hateful words. It was as if I was dealing with not only a different person but someone who hated my person more and more with each passing day despite several months of not seeing each other.

Her immediate response to my message began with a go f*ck the zoo and ended with best wishes for my journey lol. She went ahead to complain about how I did not want to see her when she wanted to see me. This is despite the fact that we both agreed that a meeting between us would lead to something she was not ready for (she even thanked me for my restraint and decision to not exploit her vulnerable moments) she suddenly acted as if I was the one being difficult. According to her, whatever she felt for me was just her "kundalini rising" and she sincerely did not know what made her entangled with me.

The whole thing seemed to have straddled the realms of "You took advantage of me" and "I can't seem to remember that I once swore that you were the one for me" despite hours upon hours of conversations and all the time she needed to decide whether or not this was what she wanted, she then turned around to talk about how I should have helped her to decide whether or not she wanted me.

She became sarcastic and seemed to be mocking at my person during our conversation whilst I left my last lengthy message summing up the details of our involvement within 8 months till that very day. I kept the door open for us to converse. A door she never walked through since then. She saw the message and never responded. I could say that whilst 2018 seemed like a promising year until towards the end of that year, 2019 was a year where major emotional shocks continued. Despite the fact that I was never a stranger to emotional struggles, pains and heartbreaks, the so-called tf journey was such a disruptive and never before experienced force; if I could put it that way.


I never got in touch with her from that moment and I did my best to move on to other relationships. It was tough and I went through a whole lot. Some of which were even life-threatening within the same year but I made it and I learnt my lessons. It is a continuous process and such is life; you think you have seen it all until the next news flash


Continuing with this person, I was still restless and I began to consult here and there as 3 out of 4 people I spoke with said that she was being manipulative and I was rather being manipulated. The advise was to move on and not be too swept away by my emotions. I did my best and for the first time in my life had to summon an unusual degree of strength to move forward. Never did I for once think that my heart and being could be this impacted. It for so long seemed like a blow I never truly recovered from, however, at the moment all that trauma and pain has by and large left me. The only thing that left are memories of all that happened.


Within that same year she stopped using the account on which we once chatted and created a new one. She tried to unfriend as many mutual friends of ours as she could so that she won't be seeing my profile as a friend suggestion. I guess she was as triggered as I was too. I kept seeing her as a friends suggestion due to the number of our mutual friends but I never for once reached out only to see that she blocked me. This is despite not being her friend anymore.

I was amused by that but hardly cared and thought that was going to be final but she kept blocking and unblocking me repeatedly from 2019 till sometime 2 years after. She would unblock me and 2 days later block me. I got to know because we had mutual friends and I occasionally saw her comments until I no longer saw them. I said to myself the last time she blocked me that she better keep me blocked because if I ever got to know that she unblocked me, I will be the one to put an end to the back and forth by permanently blocking her. Whilst I waited for that day to come, I wondered why she was stalking someone she has shown so much hate for; a kind of hate that matched the intensity of love I felt towards her. If I was someone she wouldn't want to be in touch with, why was she stalking me?


Finally sometime towards the end of the year 2021 she unblocked me and I blocked her. I am certain that she would have searched for my profile to probably block me again after stalking me but I would not let that happen. If you do not want anything to do with anyone, it is better you cut ties completely and forever. It is pointless stalking them and I found that behavior to be toxic. Not ignoring the times I saw a couple of posts on her timeline that appeared as a kind of subtle jab at my person. I found it to be shallow and immature though she was older than I am and on discovering this perhaps impacted her perception of my person since being older in her own eyes meant she was sort of socially superior.

It has been almost 2 years since I blocked her and I'm glad that I was able to do away with such a person. The experience was really painful and a crushing blow to my self esteem as I walked on emotional eggshells for such a long time. There was this fear and uncertainty that plagued my mind each time I met a new person especially online; I would suddenly develop great anxiety in the "what if we met and they changed towards me like this other person". It took a long time to resume my self-confidence and I am glad that the bad and good experiences after that woman helped me realize that she was the problem and that there was nothing wrong with me. I have since met people who genuinely loved me before seeing me and still remained so after meeting me in person though occasionally it would cross my mind to ask why someone would blow back so much hate towards you even if all you ever sent their way was love at every point in your dealings with them. This is someone who calls herself the last time I checked a "spiritual teacher" either way I checked my blocked list and saw her name sitting nicely there. I'm glad for this and can only be thankful for the experience.

Before I came online to reply your message I was seeing all those so called tf numbers and just smiled. I thought this was just the right time to come and pour it all out since I finally made it after years of silence and struggles. I am now in a relationship with a woman who truly loves my person and shows me genuine, non - negotiable desire. I care about her and I can only trust that it stays that way. I have learnt to cultivate the art of non -attachment whilst giving my best and I can only be thankful for everything