Romantic adventure - preferences?

Jack of Spades · #1 26-11-2018, 08:53 PM

Your doorbell rings. There is a stranger who invites you to join him/her for a romantic adventure. Everything seems fine, there is no reason for alarm, so you are tempted to run away with the stranger. But it's not yet clear to you what kind of a person he/she is. While thinking about the choice, you go and read this checklist "5 questions to help you to decide whether to run away with a stranger or not":

1.) What kind of a stranger would you prefer to run away with? Would you prefer the stranger to be different from you, or similar to you? Different or similar in sense of personality and background etc.

2.) Would you prefer the stranger to be an exciting person, or rather someone you would feel safe to be around with?

3.) What kind of a person would make you feel excited? What kind of a person would make you feel safe? How much of both there would have to be for you to take the leap?

4.) What would be the ultimate key, the final assurance that would make you grab your jacket and say, "Let's go!"?

5.) How much would you have to know about the adventure ahead? Would you need to know the details, or even the direction generally? Is it better to know, or is it better to just trust and find out along the way?

Note:
The example is not meant to be taken 100% literally, it's just a way to ponder the balance between adventure and safety in love! I'm pretty sure most of us would stay home, and for a good reason, if this happened in real life!

Ziusudra · #2 27-11-2018, 06:45 AM

This posting makes me laugh.
So, here it goes.

My mom told me to never open the door to strangers.
So,.... I need to see his photo IDs - at least two.

Then I have to run the background ck through internet.
If everything checks out, then I may consider.

1) well. Similarity will ensure that he is taking me to an advanture that I will also enjoy. However, I don't want to date myself.= everything similar will be boring - assuming this is a date? So, some difference to balance each other will be nice.

2)Safety first. Excitement w/o being a maniac

3)I will be excited about someone who knows what kind of adventure that I like to have and integrate that into the adventure. - someone with great sense of humor and easy going personality to handle any surprises during the adventure.
Safety will be based on the back ground ck

and his history of being safe with himself and with others. - basically his records.
Safety has to be 100%. Exciting 100%.

4)We like each other and we get along. He is considerate. I will try the adventure then. BTW, who is paying for this adventure?

5)I need to know what to wear and to bring. So. some idea will be great.

Ziusudra · #3 27-11-2018, 06:45 AM

..............

#4 27-11-2018, 09:54 AM

I wouldn't respond to a stranger turning up on the doorstep - he might be a confidence trickster or sales person posing as a romantic prospect in which case he'd be wasting my time.

But if someone propositioned me somewhere else; I liked him and he didn't look or act like some psychopath I might go for it. I can always change my mind later. So could he.

But I look back. I doubt I'd get excited now...

Jack of Spades · #5 27-11-2018, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ziusudra

Safety has to be 100%. Exciting 100%.

Is having it both ways even possible? Taking risks is what makes something unsafe, but taking risks is also what makes things exciting, right?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ziusudra

BTW, who is paying for this adventure?

I don't know. Would it be important to know who pays?

Ziusudra · #6 28-11-2018, 04:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack of Spades

Is having it both ways even possible? Taking risks is what makes something unsafe, but taking risks is also what makes things exciting, right?

Absolutely possible.
In fact if both do not exist at the same time, the adventure may become a total disaster with serious consequences.

Like when NASA launches a space shuttle, it applies all safety precautions (using best technology, smart engineers/staffs, etc) and it launches into unknown. - adventure!

When going on a scuba diving trip, diver checks out his/her scuba gears before the trip and takes refresh course if needed. Then adventure!

In dating, he/she makes sure that the adventure takes place in a safe environment, that he/she has the ability to afford the adventure, and that he/she is physically/emotionally/spiritually prepare for the adventure.

Being adventurous and being reckless are very different thing.
I want someone adventurous but not reckless.

Quote:

I don't know. Would it be important to know who pays?

In this case yes.

I am not paying for the adventure of a stranger who just appeared at my front door, to asking me to go an adventure with him.

I don't need to go on an adventure with a stranger. I can go by myself or go with a friend.

Ziusudra · #7 28-11-2018, 04:29 AM

...............dup

Jack of Spades · #8 28-11-2018, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ziusudra

Like when NASA launches a space shuttle, it applies all safety precautions (using best technology, smart engineers/staffs, etc) and it launches into unknown. - adventure!

When going on a scuba diving trip, diver checks out his/her scuba gears before the trip and takes refresh course if needed. Then adventure!

In dating, he/she makes sure that the adventure takes place in a safe environment, that he/she has the ability to afford the adventure, and that he/she is physically/emotionally/spiritually prepare for the adventure.

But wouldn't 100% safety mean not going into the space in the first place? The best way for NASA to keep their astronauts safe would be to send them to have a picnic in the nearby park instead of shooting them into the space! The safety measures are there to reduce the risk, not to remove it.

I guess what you are saying is one shouldn't take needless, avoidable risks when they are possible to spot, and when there is an alternative available for the same thing but just without that particular risk? Is that right? If so, then we agree! But, that's kind of an obvious choice, because in such situations you can have them both, so it's naturally the best option. I'm interested in the kind of situations when you have to choose, when it's not possible to have it both ways. It's a much harder choice!

Anne · #9 28-11-2018, 01:00 PM

Throwing caution to the wind and getting out of Dodge?! How exciting!!

In this scenario I would prefer some similarities with said stranger over
differences. While it may be exciting, good to know we both like PB & J for the road..

4.) The ultimate key, the final assurance would come from my reading of his eyes.
If I felt safe I would grab my jacket and go.

5.) If I’ve committed thus far, no need to know direction/details/destination.

Hopeless romantic here.. Thanks for letting me play :)

Ziusudra · #10 29-11-2018, 04:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack of Spades

But wouldn't 100% safety mean not going into the space in the first place? The best way for NASA to keep their astronauts safe would be to send them to have a picnic in the nearby park instead of shooting them into the space! The safety measures are there to reduce the risk, not to remove it.

I guess what you are saying is one shouldn't take needless, avoidable risks when they are possible to spot, and when there is an alternative available for the same thing but just without that particular risk? Is that right? If so, then we agree! But, that's kind of an obvious choice, because in such situations you can have them both, so it's naturally the best option. I'm interested in the kind of situations when you have to choose, when it's not possible to have it both ways. It's a much harder choice!

Yes, one shouldn't take needless and avoidable risks.

Adventure w/o Safety = Recklessness.