I just wanted to share an excerpt from a letter Matt wrote to me in 2005. I always think of this letter because it so beautifully captures his tender, romantic soul. I thought it would be lovely to share some of his thoughts with the forum. Even though they are personal in nature, they are also universal, for all of our hearts long to be touched by love and know beyond all doubt that it is eternal............
April 8, 2005 12:22 pm
Good evening Heidi,
I begin writing this, as a beautiful golden sunset shines its rays
onto the weeping willows on the bank of the river I see from my living
room door. I love it when the dusk comes like this - the almost
heavenly pure light, it only happens maybe a couple of times a year.
Thank you for that lovely poem, it speaks to me, as if they were my
own words - you have a natural ability to create flow and rhythm.
We're both waiting, to find, and to share that love that most people
only dream of.
Sometimes, it feels like the tomorrow we seek, may never come, that
soon we might have waited half our life away, as Leonard Cohen once
said, for the miracle.
There's no need to apologise for your feelings - ever. Especially,
since yours are so transcendent, and of the heart. I know many men
shun their feelings and emotions, perhaps they are embarassed by them
- I don't know why. But I do know, that feelings, emotions, hopes and
dreams, they are infinitely more powerful than any muscle or brawn.
They make us who we are, and we should never be afraid of them.
You seem to yearn for a land, far away from the mundaneness and
madness of this world, a place where love is king, where stories,
fables, poems, songs are the only work that needs to be done, where
eternity can be in a single moment of embrace, and where a single
moment can last forever, where the greatest freedom is found in the
deepest intimacy.
Where dragons lair, and heroes slay them. Where dreams come true.
Does such a place exist anymore? Looking around at the world, it feels
like it couldn't be further away than ever before. But oh, it does
exist, in our hearts, and in our souls. And only the brave adventurers
that dare to tread the path of total surrender to love's calling, can
find this mythical land. But it does exist....
Lovers at midnight, letters of love with more value to the writer than
their own life, fantasies and encounters like those in the old classic
medieval romance stories of the golden cinema era, and so much more -
they do exist, in our hearts...
This morning, while I was eating my breakfast in my car at a local
drive-thru, I saw a little sparrow land on the sign in front of me. It
looked intently at me, tweeting it's little tiny heart out with all
the beauty it knew how. It was asking me, "Have you seen her?". For a
long time, this little sparrow stayed around in the hedge in front of
the car, tweeting away the same call. How I would like to fly, away,
like that little sparrow, and find another, calling out the same song
from it's heart, as I do from mine.
Sometimes, I just get into my car and drive, I don't know why, but it
calms me. Sometimes, too, I think if I just drive long enough, like
how Forrest Gump ran, eventually would I find my twin flame.
One day, it is my fondest dream, to ride horseback with my love, in
the Grand Canyon, to lay saddle down for one night, to share the stars
with them, to hold them, to both know without needing words, that
beyond those twinkles is from whence we both came, as one. And one
day, soon, after our good work is done on Earth, will we both return
there together, after having spent many lifetimes in this realm, never
having to part ever ever, ever again....
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