My journey

[athribiristan]

Many of you have probably noticed that I like to answer questions and mostly reply to what other people have to say. That has a little to do with the way my particular talents work but more to with me just not knowing what to share. I'm sure I can come off as a know it all, or holier-than-thou sort of person sometimes, but I want to let everyone know that is not where I'm coming from.

I assure you I am just like everyone else. I'm here in a body, having this crazy human experience, and its hard for me too. So I thought I would start sharing some of my daily spiritual experiences to perhaps humanize myself a bit.

Today was amazing, but first I should catch you up a bit. I decided some time ago to be a servant to others. I live with a friend from high school who quit his job to take care of his ailing mother. My family of 7 live in his basement, he and his mother live on the upper floor and we have a room mate who is an alchoholic and a transient who sleeps on the couch. Crazy right? I don't say this for pity or for need of a solution, I am exactly where I need to be and I am fully owning this.

I say this to demonstrate the ways in which serving others has/is enriching my life, to demonstrate that perspective creates reality. The help that my family and I provide to the household in terms of cleaning and basic household management means that my friend is free to focus on his duties as caregiver. We are able to live without rent or really any bills to speak of. I buy food, pay for car insurance and a cell phone. I pay for cable so his mom can veg, and of course my internet. Can't live without that

Today I was working on exterior project during a rare sunny winter's day, and I overheard the owner talking on his phone about being inspired to work on his house and make a little forward progress with his life. He mentioned that it was my work in painting the exterior that was really getting him excited. I met this guy through the same buddy that I live with, I liked him when I met him and I knew that I wanted to get to know him better. I would have worked for him a little just to help him out and get my foot in his door but we were able to work a trade. An $800 gaming computer for a weeks labor. My kids are very interested in multimedia projects and digital arts so they will be needing a better computer than the one I've got. 40 hours of my time and my kids get a cool computer to help them with school and this other guy gets his house fixed up. Turns out the house was bought and paid for by his grandfather but has fallen into disrepair and now has some sort of complication with the city. Essentially he now has to buy the house.

Later in the day, he came and asked me what I thought about an idea for some window trim. I took the image right out of his head and described it to him....he was floored. He couldn't beleive it. Havning super powers is so cool.

Later I went to bible study. Not a christian, but the book is interesting and I really enjoy the people. Really some of the coolest people I've ever been around and I get to hang out with them every week.

Afterwards I stopped by the hospital to visit baby. I haven't been to the hospital in several days because I have been sick, so I was really excited to see her. She should be coming home within a couple weeks, she was born at 26 weeks, so very very early. But she has been just fine this whole time. We have watched babies come and go in the NICU over the months and they have all sorts of problems. She had to have a heart surgery early on but that has been her only issue. She is an old soul, I am super excited to learn from this one. She is here to heal my wife, but I feel honored to watch from the sidelines, and a little jealous

Congratulations on your baby and happiness.

Going to bible study and not being a Christian intrigued me, as I have thought about doing this, mostly, because i love good debate and deep discussion. How does it work out for you? Do you tell them you aren't Christian?

Originally Posted by athribiristan

Many of you have probably noticed that I like to answer questions and mostly reply to what other people have to say. That has a little to do with the way my particular talents work but more to with me just not knowing what to share. I'm sure I can come off as a know it all, or holier-than-thou sort of person sometimes, but I want to let everyone know that is not where I'm coming from.

I assure you I am just like everyone else. I'm here in a body, having this crazy human experience, and its hard for me too. So I thought I would start sharing some of my daily spiritual experiences to perhaps humanize myself a bit.

Today was amazing, but first I should catch you up a bit. I decided some time ago to be a servant to others. I live with a friend from high school who quit his job to take care of his ailing mother. My family of 7 live in his basement, he and his mother live on the upper floor and we have a room mate who is an alchoholic and a transient who sleeps on the couch. Crazy right? I don't say this for pity or for need of a solution, I am exactly where I need to be and I am fully owning this.

I say this to demonstrate the ways in which serving others has/is enriching my life, to demonstrate that perspective creates reality. The help that my family and I provide to the household in terms of cleaning and basic household management means that my friend is free to focus on his duties as caregiver. We are able to live without rent or really any bills to speak of. I buy food, pay for car insurance and a cell phone. I pay for cable so his mom can veg, and of course my internet. Can't live without that



Today I was working on exterior project during a rare sunny winter's day, and I overheard the owner talking on his phone about being inspired to work on his house and make a little forward progress with his life. He mentioned that it was my work in painting the exterior that was really getting him excited. I met this guy through the same buddy that I live with, I liked him when I met him and I knew that I wanted to get to know him better. I would have worked for him a little just to help him out and get my foot in his door but we were able to work a trade. An $800 gaming computer for a weeks labor. My kids are very interested in multimedia projects and digital arts so they will be needing a better computer than the one I've got. 40 hours of my time and my kids get a cool computer to help them with school and this other guy gets his house fixed up. Turns out the house was bought and paid for by his grandfather but has fallen into disrepair and now has some sort of complication with the city. Essentially he now has to buy the house.

Later in the day, he came and asked me what I thought about an idea for some window trim. I took the image right out of his head and described it to him....he was floored. He couldn't beleive it. Havning super powers is so cool.

Later I went to bible study. Not a christian, but the book is interesting and I really enjoy the people. Really some of the coolest people I've ever been around and I get to hang out with them every week.

Afterwards I stopped by the hospital to visit baby. I haven't been to the hospital in several days because I have been sick, so I was really excited to see her. She should be coming home within a couple weeks, she was born at 26 weeks, so very very early. But she has been just fine this whole time. We have watched babies come and go in the NICU over the months and they have all sorts of problems. She had to have a heart surgery early on but that has been her only issue. She is an old soul, I am super excited to learn from this one. She is here to heal my wife, but I feel honored to watch from the sidelines, and a little jealous

\\


Nice share..:) Congratulations and nice your baby is doing well..

[athribiristan]

Originally Posted by BrokenArm

Congratulations on your baby and happiness.

Going to bible study and not being a Christian intrigued me, as I have thought about doing this, mostly, because i love good debate and deep discussion. How does it work out for you? Do you tell them you aren't Christian?

Oh definitely. They find my fresh perspective refreshing. I just go in with a suspension of my held beliefs and attempt to understand Faith from their persepective. If they ask what I believe then I tell them, otherwise I assume we are just their to study the subject of the day.

[ocean breeze]

thanks for sharing. its interesting to hear about other people's journeys in life.

[Mr Interesting]

I've seen a little of what might be called your supporting evidence antibristian and if anything it just rounds out your essential goodness and kindness sitting in a humility we all might find nowhere near as uncomfortable as the media supports that environment to be.

I, for one, went into a kind of self enforced poverty a few years ago and if anything find it the absolute opposite of what we are conditioned to believe it to be. Though I could also say it was self inflicted by an ignorance it has over time become a very inspiring and enjoyable experience and one that when the money does come back, as it always seems to do, I will find myself a wider and more optimistic spreader of the possibilities having it at my disposal will bring and hopefully less inclined to inflict it's rewards upon myself as a saviour on my own indulgence.

[lenvdb64]

<< They find my fresh perspective refreshing. >>
:-)

I used to mix in many Christian circles after my Soul Awakening. I found that in my research the Old Testament is highly occultic/ Kabbalistic, but the New Testament has a lot of fabrications and forgeries.

I can take the Teachings of Jesus, which has a strong Kabbalistic influence, but the teachings of Paul, which is the basis of the Christian Church today, I had to discard.

As I started to share my views on the Occult (Kabbalistic - Seek first the Kingdom) teachings of Jesus, I felt that I was no longer welcome at their meetings.

I began to turn inward to my Soul, Higher Self for connection, guidance, and direction. Got myself a Tarot Deck and a few good books on the Tree of Life, and that set me on my journey.

[LadyMay]

Lovely read, very inspiring. :)

[athribiristan]

So, the transient who frequently crashes at the house has proven to be a challenge. I'm sure that he keeps showing up in my life for a reason, but I continually fail to make a connection with him. He is a weasel, he sweet talks his way into using other people. I can respect that, if you can live off the generosity of others I say more power to you. It is the fact that he will do these things and then smoke a cigarette in the non-smoking house, or that he will show up and complain about a pile of dirty dishes. It a perceived lack of respect for the household and the individuals in it that I seem to sruggle with.

The standard mantras come to mind. Don't judge, why do I feel the need to be respected. Moreover why am I so quick to defend the honor of my host? Its not even my house to be offended by this persons actions, so why does it hit me so hard. I know that respect is a button for me, always has been. I'm just not sure what lesson he is here to teach me. As a human, I want to punch him in the face. As a spirit I want to learn what is being presented to me. Good thing for both of us I spend more time in spirit mode than human mode I suppose. Time for some deep meditation on the subject I think, its been a while since I've done that.

Baby continues to do well. Doctors continue to frustrate with their 'in the box' mentality. The latest battle is vaccination. I say no, but they want to talk my ear off with statisitics and such. Funnily enough it was them that ultimately talked us out of it. They said they would prefer to give the vaccines at the hospital in case there are any bad side effects. I was like WHAT? If there is a .001% chance that this shot is going to cause my premature baby to have a negative reaction, I'm out. She is in no fit state to have any kind of setback.

[athribiristan]

Today has been a mixed bag. Mostly good news, found out baby girl is coming home next Monday , made arrangements for some full time(ish) work to start next week as well.

The day was not without its challenges though. Managed to fast talk my way into the cliff notes version of infant CPR but still had to sit through that. I have had the class before, so that was how I pitched it. Talked them into a one on one 'refresher' which was over in half the time. All these hoops to jump through before I can have 'permission' to take my baby home can be frustrating.

Then there was the new nurse who no matter how many times we explained that we have been doing this a while (baby is now 75 days into her NICU stay) still insisted on very sweetly explaining everything to us in detail. Accept that which you cannot change right? So this very quickly became a game between my wife and I to predict the next thing she was going to explain and then beat her to it, and tell her all about it. My wife does a LOT of research, she keeps the doctors jumping with very informed questions. Needless to say the nurse was a bit dizzy when we left, I almost felt sorry for her.

Wife became very frustrated later during an attempted breast feeding. Both of us being empathic means constantly being on watch for this sort of thing. Someone can walk through a room trailing some negativity and if one of us picks up on it without noticing we can very quickly feed off each other in a catastrophic spiral of spit and venom. Some deep breaths and a quick grounding session later: crisis averted.

Biggest challenge of the day waited until the end, just when I'm the most tired and worn down. Wife asks me to help hang some tissue paper decorations she had made for the baby shower and wanted to put up around the crib here at home. This pushes sooooo many of my buttons I don't even know where to start. It's really not about hanging the decorations.... I know that. It's about everything those decorations represent to me. First, I'm poor and I work hard.....two issues that I struggle with. So in my perception of lack, I invalidate her desire to have a nice party with decorations, which she made very cheaply and is now reusing. With this thought firmly in my mind, everything about those decorations now becomes an issue for me. The process was messy and invasive, there are still bits of tissue paper everywhere. Change that which you cannot accept right? I cannot accept being angry, resentful, or bitter toward my wife, so clearly I need to change something.

More grounding, centering, sat my booty down on my throne of awareness and had a good look at the whole process by which this resentment came into being: my perception of lack. I know this is a lie, there is no such thing as lack. Some certain pictures needed getting rid of.

I am poor. Blown up
Succes requires hard work. Blown up
I deserve respect. Blown up
Me first. Blown up
I do everything. Blown up

By the time I finished putting up decorations I was all smiles again. The universe is truly my mirror, always showing me what I really look like. Glad I learned to pay attention.