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Old 18-06-2018, 10:06 AM
Rainbow11 Rainbow11 is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 15
Question TF or obsession?long but Please help :(

Hi all, please forgive me if this post upsets anyone, as it is not my intention. Instead I am trying to better understand this Twin Flame thing because I had never heard of it before.

So far, online, I have seen multiple stories on forums from women (and some men) who refer to someone as their TF and call them a runner. I can't help but question this. How do you know it is a Twin Flame, and not a deep connection (obsession) you've created in your mind as a result of never having fully "had" them?

At this present time, I am trying to work out if my current "obsession" is a TF or just simply an obsession. I am in a long term relationship, but I feel so drawn to this other guy whom I barely know. I see him briefly every morning, we always speak, and there have been numerous times where we end up at the same place at the same time and we both smile big, then get nervous and thn i get tongue-tied and become awkward. One night, i randomly saw him again, and there were 3 rows of people between us. My friend said "if only these guys would move". As she finished her sentence, they moved. We laughed saying what are the odds? Now there were 2 groups between us. She did the same thing. Both times, as she finished her sentence, each group moved away. They couldnt hear us. So finally, there was no one between me and the guy and I finally got over the nerves and said hello, and we spent the next 6 hours talking. Nothing sexual or flirty.

The magnetic pull was ridiculous. The feeling I know him and have always known him is strong. The feeling that we've shared moments before is strong. He told me he feels like hes always known me too but maybe he was being polite.

When he talks to me his eye contact is so intense i have to look away because I blush and feel joy, nerve, anxiety, happiness, excitement, love... all at once.

My bf loves me, and I love him, but i feel disconnected from him. We dont connect on an intellectual or emotional level. He is working on being more physically affectionate because I need it, but it isnt enough. I have been physically ill from the knot in my stomach at the thought of hurting him. I am so confused, and bumping into this possible TF all the time is not helping: nor is seeing his name everywhere. I feel I am going crazy.

So yeah, after that ramble, how do you know if it is a TF or in your head? Thanks in advance.
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Old 18-06-2018, 12:33 PM
Lorelyen Lorelyen is offline
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,944
You've read a lot on line about what twin-flames are supposed to be...the story varies wildly and has also weakened over the past few years to allow more people to believe the person they suddenly fall for is a twin flame.

To me, genuine twin flames are rare. Both need to believe the same doctrine. They aim to share the same spiritual path. If they don't on meeting they agree to work towards that because that's how they help each other grow and evolve. They are "part souls" looking for another with a similar part soul so these parts fit together to make them (together) a whole, and once linked they are inseparable. Most write-ups I've seen on the www are variants of these common features.

Being acutely attracted to someone even if you're in a relationship is no guarantee of the person being your twin flame.

So I think until you meet this guy and get to know each other a little you can't know how well you'll get on let alone whether he's ready to accept something as spiritually inspired as "twin flame" and join you on your spiritual path.

Both my own experience and from reading many posts on the twin-flames section, men tend to get the heebie-jeebies if anyone let alone a woman with amoral (love) aims tries to push something spiritual on them and they back off - "run" as the saying goes. The other thing you have to remember is that guys will go along with everything you say if they want to get you to bed and only later those real motives show.

It doesn't sound like you're obsessed but you're in danger of it. Most people fancy someone like crazy at some time(s) in their life but when they can't get a date let it go. Others persist. I can't know how you'd react but I'd get too nervy about meeting someone I've fancied for a while, someone who's occupied my thoughts. Worse is if you start to build up expectations according to your needs from a male: you meet, things don't work out that way and you're disappointed.

It's very easy to fall for someone's looks, their outward manner but you need to inveigle a date if you believe he's THE one. Learn a little about him. Being circumspect, test how receptive he is to spiritual matters.

He may look great, seem great, but don't scupper what you have now just for that. If you'd like your b/f to be more romantic (and you believe you inspire him to that) and he's at this limit - perhaps it's time to move on. You're entitled to joy and fulfilment from life. It is not supposed to be clouded with anguish and hurt.

You can fritter your life hopelessly over twin flames. Read through a couple of dozen topics. You'll learn another term - "separation". It seems almost institutional in that community and will be a part of many of their relationships. With some, they're twin flames enjoying a painful break. Others though are frittering their lives waiting around in vain hope rather than going out to meet new people, those who've deluded themselves into believing the runner is their twin...where really he's lost interest, moved on.

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Old 19-06-2018, 10:50 AM
Rainbow11 Rainbow11 is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 15
Thank you for your honest response.
I agree with everything you said, and as I said I had never even heard of TF until recently and was curious as to how people who have found their TF would differentiate between crush/obsession and this connection.

As for my crush, he is anything but "good looking". I guess I am drawn to him for other reasons. Whether it is because of how I am feeling about my relationship or some other reason, who knows. And it is possible that all the signs pushing me towards him are from my brain paying attention to it for the same possible reasons as above.

I am waiting a few weeks before talking to my bf about all this, and maybe by then, I may not be feeling this way.

We shall see. Thanks once again for taking the time, I really appreciate it.

Have a great day :)
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Old 21-06-2018, 02:16 PM
Inika Inika is offline
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 2,117
but why tf, why must it need to be tf?what about soulmate?

you describe soul mate crush feelings. i refer to the soul in it because of the unusual urge toward him and the 'knowing' him yet never having knowing them.

the bf doesnt seem connected on many levels but one? I hope it can grow? What do you each bring to one another in your relationship? Has this new man opened your eyes to seeing that your current relationship has actually expired and you're in denial to address it?
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Old 22-06-2018, 01:45 AM
jro5139 jro5139 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 753
I don't think it's something that you can tell right away. Based on my own experience and what I have heard from intuitive's and the like that resonated, I would say that a tf turns your life upside down, they put you on the road to a better you by putting you through hell and help you accomplish or lead you to your soul mission. That is what my opinion is now of what a tf is. It's hard being a tf and yeah, most of the stories seem to include separation. It's not the instant romance that people think. So how do you know? If in a few years from now your feel like you have gone through hell and been chewed up and spit out a better version of you, then you might be a tf.
Also when I met my tf there was a lot of soul recognition. It wasn't just a crush or attraction, I cared instantly about him like he was a family member, and I had no reason to feel that way and didn't know why I did.

So how to tell tf from a crush. Crushes can be gotten over easily, they fade. They can fade pretty quickly. When they're gone, you get over them pretty easily.
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Old 22-06-2018, 09:47 AM
Morrigan Morrigan is offline
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 62
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I don't set much store by this "twin flame" idea. A lot of people cross our paths in our lifetime - I have had two marriages for instance, and a few serious relationships.
Most people do - and IMO there's not some special magic that sets particular relationships on another level from others. All long term relationships are hard work at times, as well as being wonderful, and all are challenging and cause you to grow personally, or should do, at best. Even bad relationships have stuff to teach you about yourself.
When you're young you tend to think you can get the magic without the hard work - and hence the "twin flame" theory. Just my opinion. There are others ;-)
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Old 25-06-2018, 07:52 AM
Rainbow11 Rainbow11 is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 15
Thank you all for your replies. I dont know how to respond individually, but

Inika, i think i believe more of him being a soul tribe thingy too. I don't know about the TF thing, I only asked because I came across it and was curious how people can tell. As for my bf... i think we have both gotten lazy... i think its hard to leave because we are used to each other, i dont know what we bringout in each other that nurtures growth anymore... i am very confused abouteverything and all my feelings and they change every 5 mins from knowing its over to knowing its a mistake and not wanting it to be over.

Jro - thats the thing i feel i deeply care about him... and i dont know if it is in my head but i think he feels it too. But again that could be me interpreting it that way cos of how I feel.

Morrigan - i think my views align with yours. Because I have experiencedd the love and relationship that people describe as TF. And i could easily say he was mine... but I dont think it could be that common? Maybe? It is a nice thought to have a part of your soul out there searching for yoi though lol
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Old 03-07-2018, 11:55 AM
Seenthelight Seenthelight is offline
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 217
Just quickly - TF theory is a theory, like any other. But only you know how you actually feel within your heart. It is complex and I am still trying to understand things 10 years since meeting this particular guy (very long story for another time perhaps).
However - just wanted to pitch in and say you might want to consider looking at another theory (even just to rule it out but I learned so much about myself regardless) - limerence.net There is also a forum with others on there sharing very similar stories, just without the spiritual aspect (which, if you are anything like me, is what really pulls this together). You can learn, nonetheless
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