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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 12-11-2017, 05:10 PM
Soul Renew Soul Renew is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: In a state of renewal
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Face Readings? I Can't Stop Thinking About Him!

I was wondering if anybody here has the ability to look at a picture of me and a guy I have a crush on and help me figure out what exactly is he in my life?

I have a deep but confusing crush on a guy I see at a local market.
I never took notice of him until my friend called him Mr. Positive.
I was intrigued because positivity is a good quality that is hard to find in a place where i live....

So the more I was curious, the more the feelings grew.
I ended up having my bestie, who worked there, give him a letter explaining my feelings.

I basically said I thought he was cute and couldn't stop thinking about him, but he was interfering with important things in my life (I didn't want to tell him I was experiencing the dark night of the soul!)

He ended up txting me because my bestie gave him my phone number and we talked for a good while...I told him I didn't want my feelings to grow so we should stop interacting...

Well, after two days, I got really emotional and txted him!

We met once and I absolutely adore him, like he's so cute, like a puppy i want to adopt. Everything he does, smile, talk, laugh, walk, is so cute I just want to die!!

He told me he thinks I'm cute, but doesn't have same feelings for me as I do for him.

I told him I'm going through something troubling and he said he's also going through tough time too. So we agreed we shouldn't have a relationship together...

One week later, I txted him saying if we could be friends? He said yeah, but after that, I txted him a few days later to text me back if he wants to talk, but he has not replied back after.

I have conflicting feelings revolving around him and i don't understand why!!!! I feel really drawn to him, like a magnet, I need to be around him! I want to love him so badly...It hurts... Last night, i told myself, move on from him, don't love him, and now I have a huge tension in my head and my stomach hurts. If i imagine myself cuddling him, i feel better.

I need help!

When I developed feelings for him, it opened up a past wound... A guy i had a crush on in college played with my feelings. When I confessed to him, he didn't love me back and left me crying. I asked if we could be friends however and he said yeah, but he never talked back! I also cried because he never told me he already had a girlfriend!!! I don't want to be the other girl!!!!! How could he cheat on her with me!!!!??

Well, this guy I have a crush on, he has a child...but he's not with his lover anymore.

I have cried thinking that he loves someone else, that he would cheat on me, that something bad would happen at some point if we had a relationship, but i truly adore him, i want him in my life...even though his lifestyle is completely different from mine. But the one day we met, it felt so warm and fuzzy. I felt he enjoyed it too. He seemed so happy when txting me after we met each other, but after a few hours, he was cold in his texts.

But I think he stalks my Facebook because he hasn't been on FB in years, but suddenly it shows him being very active.

When I'm not around him or I don't' see him, I feel I have no peace of mind! I get scared he may be doing something bad behind my back...
But when I see him, I feel I can trust him and I get warm feelings...

I know we barely know each other, but i feel if we both were not going through tough time, we could get to know each other...

These feelings i have for him...the bad feelings, are they foretelling a bad future between us? Or are they just fears?
Should I forget about him and move on? Yet, why can't i stop thinking about him and why am I so drawn to him?
Something about him feels so cozy... Even his mother reminds me a little of myself lol! (She has a fb)

I guess what I want to know is- is there some significance for him being in my life? I feel like there is....or maybe I need to run away from him and forget about him, even though it hurts? Is is karma? Maybe he can help me? Maybe I can help him? Is there a thread connecting us together? I've never felt this way before with someone...it's driving me crazy...
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The soul is just as important as the body, but maybe even more so because it cannot be seen physically. Therefore, when it is in pain, it's vulnerable to the worse kinds of suffering.
The fragile is most precious.
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  #2  
Old 12-11-2017, 09:44 PM
Lorelyen Lorelyen is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,948
 
I sincerely don't want to rain on your parade but the way you've described initially meeting and interacting with the guy does seem a bit of a scorpion dance.
You found him attractive?
You met him and found you liked his ways?
Then instead of seeing if you support each other through rough times you thought it better not to carry on?
You were worried he didn't have the same intensity of feeling as yourself?

What was wrong with agreeing to keep in touch, be friends, talk things through?

Fears about a potential future with him? It does seem that he so preoccupies you that you're driving yourself negative and that will attract a negative result. So you need to affirm positive along the lines that if he contacts you again, you be cheerful and suggest meeting as friends, maybe something neutral like go out somewhere - the cinema where you're together in body but not having to worry about emotional chat. Affirm that you can be calm and approach this with no particular expectations.

It could take time and patience. A txt soon about how's he getting on? What's he doing these days?

But I think you also have to face the possibility that as it didn't seem to hit off on the right foot he may just have wandered off. Better to face the prospect now than do yourself emotional damage by dwelling on, what? a lost opportunity?

A difficult balancing act so maybe best to affirm positively that things are going to go better for you in the coming seasons, and if he does come into your life just go for friendship with no expectations at first. Smile a lot. See if he takes the lead. Find out what his interests are so you can be inquisitive!!

Wishing you the best with this.
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  #3  
Old 13-11-2017, 08:18 PM
Soul Renew Soul Renew is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: In a state of renewal
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorelyen
I sincerely don't want to rain on your parade but the way you've described initially meeting and interacting with the guy does seem a bit of a scorpion dance.
You found him attractive?
You met him and found you liked his ways?
Then instead of seeing if you support each other through rough times you thought it better not to carry on?
You were worried he didn't have the same intensity of feeling as yourself?

What was wrong with agreeing to keep in touch, be friends, talk things through?

Fears about a potential future with him? It does seem that he so preoccupies you that you're driving yourself negative and that will attract a negative result. So you need to affirm positive along the lines that if he contacts you again, you be cheerful and suggest meeting as friends, maybe something neutral like go out somewhere - the cinema where you're together in body but not having to worry about emotional chat. Affirm that you can be calm and approach this with no particular expectations.

It could take time and patience. A txt soon about how's he getting on? What's he doing these days?

But I think you also have to face the possibility that as it didn't seem to hit off on the right foot he may just have wandered off. Better to face the prospect now than do yourself emotional damage by dwelling on, what? a lost opportunity?

A difficult balancing act so maybe best to affirm positively that things are going to go better for you in the coming seasons, and if he does come into your life just go for friendship with no expectations at first. Smile a lot. See if he takes the lead. Find out what his interests are so you can be inquisitive!!

Wishing you the best with this.

Ah this is great advice, thanks!
I am thinking if it's meant to be, he will txt me back and I was thinking cinema would be a perfect idea.
I will try not to have any high expectations because even if we do become friends and nothing more, that's fine by me!
I would love to talk to him again, but my intuition is telling me that I shouldn't....at least at this moment.
I remember praying to God and I got this feeling telling me I had to take things slow.
And that's what I am going to do.
In time, everything will be revealed, it's just not the right timing.

Thanks!
__________________
The soul is just as important as the body, but maybe even more so because it cannot be seen physically. Therefore, when it is in pain, it's vulnerable to the worse kinds of suffering.
The fragile is most precious.
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  #4  
Old 06-07-2018, 07:04 AM
moonchild89
Posts: n/a
 
My initial feeling reading this (and I could be wrong) was that you are drawn to this man because he represents traits that you feel disconnected from and desperately want to reconnect with at this time. His presence in your life may continue after you have resolve this within yourself or he may fall away from your life. I sense that you (either consciously or subconsciously) feel like you have lost the "sunny" side of yourself while you have been going through this dark period and because he externally represents that, you are extremely drawn to him and want to be around him. He makes you feel more "whole", like you are reconnected to this aspect of yourself that you may be grieving the (perceived) loss of. Just know that even though you feel as though you have a less joyful disposition at this time, people may not actually see you that way. Also, it is completely healthy to experience other emotions, it makes you human. You do not have to be happy all the time and part of the dark night of the soul is breaking down things that you have made your "identity" and that can be painful. I get the vibe that you are a very empathetic individual and so, you often allow others to experience the full range of emotions without judging them for it, but do not allow yourself that same level of humanity. More self-compassion is definitely need to traverse this period and once you allow yourself to be human just like you do everyone else, you may not have the same level of "awe" that you currently have for this man. With that being said, if he is still around after that, you can then reevaluate your feelings towards him and proceed from a place of holding a clearer perspective.

I really hope this is helpful and resonates. If not, I do wish you the best of luck in finding the answer that "clicks" in your heart.
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  #5  
Old 08-07-2018, 08:01 PM
Lorelyen Lorelyen is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,948
 
..............sorry.
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  #6  
Old 11-07-2018, 10:37 AM
interim interim is offline
Newbie ;)
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 12
 
It's called mental projection. In spite of talks about hearts, feelings, butterflies in the stomach, or whatever, it's just a work of your own mind. I guess you are young, and your mind still has this naive wish to externalize, to unite with something else. This is sadly not possible in this world, and you will just accept it with time...

One advice - learn how to not put too much in this stuff while young. It's draining, and this is wasted energy that will never return. Ask older people - emotions are draining, once they go, they go, especially this kind of emotions. To make this happen, you must first understand why you do these projections. And most often they are selfish, since we are selfish species. This means that in most cases you just can't be helped outside. Neither it's possible, nor anybody will really care... There is the opposite topic in the forum - how to prevent someones "romantic advanced" in the "best way". There is no "best way"... The person will hit the wall of his own mental world one way or another... This is just how life here works... Everyone is living in his own mind... So it's important to understand and accept you are alone, and start digging where your feelings of insecurity come. In 99% - it's the childhood. Since this is the period we felt fragile, dependent, we were forced to make these projections toward our parents, so we can survive. After the puberty, we start making them towards other people, based on the biological sexual drive. For some, it works, for many - it doesn't... Sooner or latter, you understand in which category you are, and just accept it...

There are objective reasons for not working for some. IMO, too sensitive people fail. Too loving people fail. Too introspective and deep people fail. Success is about being more pragmatic and self-centered, even selfish, move easily from person to person. The most people you "try", the better chance to find someone that will "work" on practical level. It's a numbers game, it's chaotic, it's messy, it's egoistic. This is how actually life works... If you grow up and preserve some of your deeper emotions, maybe you will create "normal" relationship some day (if that is your goal). Even if it fails for you, you must be still grateful, since IMO, success in the Earth's "love game" rarely shows good character...
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