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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #21  
Old 18-09-2019, 06:06 PM
Lucky Lucky is offline
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Well, this is a funny update to my original post. It seems the more I am standing my ground and enforcing my boundaries, the stronger this person AND my own mother are trying to break me down. I now can see some similarities between their personalities and over the past few days or so I can tell how enraged they are by the postitive changes I've made towards protecting myself. Both of them have reached out to me angrily, I suppose because I'm no longer there to project their negativity onto so freely. Their intensity has been hot and heavy the past two days.

The thing is, somehow this is still affecting me, like a part of me feels badly that they're suffering right now and I'm not there to listen. It's affecting me energetically and I feel a painful block in my lower belly.
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  #22  
Old 18-09-2019, 08:21 PM
blackraven blackraven is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky
Well, this is a funny update to my original post. It seems the more I am standing my ground and enforcing my boundaries, the stronger this person AND my own mother are trying to break me down. I now can see some similarities between their personalities and over the past few days or so I can tell how enraged they are by the postitive changes I've made towards protecting myself. Both of them have reached out to me angrily, I suppose because I'm no longer there to project their negativity onto so freely. Their intensity has been hot and heavy the past two days.

The thing is, somehow this is still affecting me, like a part of me feels badly that they're suffering right now and I'm not there to listen. It's affecting me energetically and I feel a painful block in my lower belly.

Lucky - Things will unfold as they may in order for things to become more balanced. It's hard, especially with family members, but if one is trying to protect themselves from added stress and anxiety, sometimes one just has to pull out the stop sign for a while so that others realize how much they may have unloaded without want or consent.

I recently had to do this with a parent who has always needed me as a sounding block for her complaints about a sibling. It's called triangulating, I believe, and it's when a person doesn't want to deal directly with the person they have a problem with so they turn to a 3rd person to complain to. It's not the healthiest and for me it just got to be too draining.
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  #23  
Old 18-09-2019, 08:22 PM
MissCreativeSpirit MissCreativeSpirit is offline
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Location: Redding
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I really love to be alone part of the time. I consider myself to be about 65% introvert. I need actual time to process all of the stimulation that goes on in my life because my nerves are sensitive. AKA I'm called a "Highly Sensitive person." See Elane Aaron's books
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  #24  
Old 18-09-2019, 08:38 PM
Lucky Lucky is offline
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Black Raven thanks for your reply. "Triangulating" as you put it makes sense. I'm never the one on the chopping block but I do always feel like the "go-between" and sounding board A LOT. It's the story of my life. It has drained me severely but I have gotten much better at protecting myself and setting boundaries whereas usually there is no beginning or end between me and the other person's emotions. Ugh...empath problems and INFJ problems. Double whammy.
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  #25  
Old 21-09-2019, 02:19 PM
Mr_Determined Mr_Determined is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Australia
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Being alone for 28yrs is like serving a life sentence in prison solitary confinement, even though I've never set foot inside one. Times can be challenging abstaining from lustful tendencies and occupying the mind with active daily routines rarely goes astray.

Seriously though; I chose this would be the life after the passing of my first beloved in my mid teens, I've never got over it and don't think I ever will as the pain has never eased, although I have traveled a little and prefer being debt free.

I don't think you can ever really be alone if you have supportive family and friends to help find your self-worth and what your passionate about would be far better than winning the lottery or having a temporary relationship.
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  #26  
Old 21-09-2019, 05:23 PM
Lucky Lucky is offline
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Mr Determined, I'm so sorry for your loss and the pain you're going through. Thank you for sharing your perspective. It makes me look at some things in a different light.
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  #27  
Old 22-09-2019, 12:15 AM
Mr_Determined Mr_Determined is offline
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Location: Australia
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I appreciate your sympathy Lucky, thank you!

I won't go into any specific details, but I was compelled to know from her parents and siblings that she praised me up to them which strengthened and sealed her with hope just before she passed.

They told me not to ever change that character/trait as this hurting world seeks caring compassion above all else, no matter how small the amount is.

Perhaps I will tell the rest of this story some day!
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  #28  
Old 07-10-2019, 07:45 PM
rasheedam9112 rasheedam9112 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2019
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I do im always in my room by myself until my daughter come make me come out the room but most of the time im by myself I have a lot of friends and they are starting think I don't wanna hangout with them anymore its not that I call and text them everyday I just don't like going anywhere I like being alone
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