Losing Friends Along The Way

Hi all,
In some threads, I've seen people mention losing friends as part of spiritual development. In what specific cases has this happened to you, if you don't mind sharing?

I think in my case, I sense a couple things hindering my development, at least things that are external. It's not that my friends are bad people - they have really good hearts, it's just something about their friendship does not evolve. I feel myself expanding and I want to get out and explore the world while they will never leave their small city and they will always have the same 'problems' and never try to resolve them.

I think the reason why I feel I need to break free from them is because I see a side of myself in them that I don't like, and that's a side of me that's too timid to ever experience anything, if that makes sense.

I know it's up to me to handle my own situations, but do you think it's selfish to "end" friendships because of these feelings? Or is it just a psychological thing where I think I need to break free, but really could trick my mind into thinking otherwise?

I'm a bizarre case but for me, I can agree with the hinderance of development.

The main thing is though in my case - I am simply not the person they knew. I am a whole different 'identity' due to the soul exchange (a whole different person).

I don't keep in touch with another as often as I used to. I decided to give her a call last night to see how she was doing - but, in this case, it is simply a 'parting of ways'...I think. Neither of us have ill feelings towards each other, but because of the soul exchange, the connections that were there prior to it, are now gone...so the spiritual bond that was 'felt' is no more.

Like I said...I'm a bizarre case...

Hehe, that is a bizarre case. But it also must have been very difficult.

Though I agree, even if I was to eventually cut ties with some friends, it would be in a friendly way, like "see you later" with no hard feelings. And I would always be there if they were ever in need of anything or in an emergency.

[Lazarus72]

I can understand where you are coming from, Ive been through this too.

Buddha said "People are like clouds".

One way of looking at this is simply ..... 'things change'.

Originally Posted by Lazarus72

I can understand where you are coming from, Ive been through this too.

Buddha said "People are like clouds".

One way of looking at this is simply ..... 'things change'.

Hey, I like that! Thanks

To me... One can not figure out who they really are, unless they turn within and take some "time" to do so. That may result in dropping many "things" from one's life. The resonance just isn't there anymore.

Many of my "friends" have shown little to no interest in anything that I have brought into my life. Thus, there is little to discuss anymore.

Other friends have expressed interest on their own, but are all on their own paths.

I have spent the most time "alone" than I ever have in my life, yet I have never felt more at peace with myself.

Some friendships that I thought would last for a very long time, shrivled and went away within a month or two. I personally didn't feel bad. No hard feelings. The empowerment realized from these experiences has been invaluable.

I encourage you, Mava, to do whatever the heck your heart tells you to do. Those who stand in judgement are only fueled by their own fear.

Love.

Lad

I can relate to what Lad wrote about the resonance not being there anymore. That's like what I mentioned only mine was a bit more extreme...so yes it was difficult in its own weird way.

I can also relate to what he said with there not being much to discuss anymore. That's where I'm at now with the friend I called. She's involved with caring for her mom and I'm here dawdling online and off...

I too have spent much alone time and it's been very helpful for me in cutting away distractions and really seeing what is going on with me (which is good because things have been chaotic enough as it is). Due to this, I've become more at peace too with things.

So all in all...yeah, what Lad said.

Originally Posted by Ladofthelight

To me... One can not figure out who they really are, unless they turn within and take some "time" to do so. That may result in dropping many "things" from one's life. The resonance just isn't there anymore.

Many of my "friends" have shown little to no interest in anything that I have brought into my life. Thus, there is little to discuss anymore.

Other friends have expressed interest on their own, but are all on their own paths.

I have spent the most time "alone" than I ever have in my life, yet I have never felt more at peace with myself.

Some friendships that I thought would last for a very long time, shrivled and went away within a month or two. I personally didn't feel bad. No hard feelings. The empowerment realized from these experiences has been invaluable.

I encourage you, Mava, to do whatever the heck your heart tells you to do. Those who stand in judgement are only fueled by their own fear.

Love.

Lad

Yea, it's almost like I met them at a time when I needed to, and now I have moved on, grown, and changed. There's nothing we really have in common, no strong bond keeping us together. And even though we've been friends for a few years now, I still feel like they don't even know me. I think it's time to let go.

On the other hand, since moving to college, I've been able to meet an amazing group of people. These are the people I can see myself being friends with for a good amount of time. It's also a great balance between, like you said, spending time by myself and spending time with them. I feel like when I'm alone, I grow so much, but I still feel like I'm evolving when I'm with these friends because they bring it out of me, whereas my old group of friends never did.

Thank you, Lad.

Originally Posted by Kapitan_Prien

I can relate to what Lad wrote about the resonance not being there anymore. That's like what I mentioned only mine was a bit more extreme...so yes it was difficult in its own weird way.

I can also relate to what he said with there not being much to discuss anymore. That's where I'm at now with the friend I called. She's involved with caring for her mom and I'm here dawdling online and off...

I too have spent much alone time and it's been very helpful for me in cutting away distractions and really seeing what is going on with me (which is good because things have been chaotic enough as it is). Due to this, I've become more at peace too with things.

So all in all...yeah, what Lad said.

That's wonderful you've been able to become more at peace. I hope everything works out with your friend and who knows what things will happen in the future.

Hi Mava

Most everything in this Life is transitory, and friendships are included. How many of the friends you first made at school are still friends with you now? There may be some - if any, but that's just the way people are. We grow, we change, we grow apart. There's nothing wrong with that, it's natural. You don't have to end it as such, the other option is to let it come to a natural end It's not being selfish to end if if that's what you choose to do, it's simply recognising that you and they are growing up and growing apart. It happens. You want to leave that goldfish bowl (I know that one very well) and they want to stay. They walk their Path and you walk yours, it really is that simple.

I also believe in echoes and reflections, what we see in other people is a reflection of ourselves as you have found out. Leaving a small city for the big wide world can seem daunting, and living the rest of your Life in a place you don't want to be can be pretty close to hell. While a part of you wants to leave it all behind, there's another part of you that's apprehensive.

Stop thinking. Listen to your Heart and use your gut feelings. Only you know how you really feel, and if you feel you want to get out there and experience then do it. If your Heart tells you to stay put then do that. For most of my young years I wanted out of this one-horse town. There was no logical reason other than it wasn't where my Heart was. Being honest, I'm glad I got out when I was young enough to. I'm back again many years later, but I don't ever regret getting out of it and experiencing things that many people never could.