What about chaser's ego?

[username4this]

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Yeah, everything you wrote make sense to me too, thing is I sometimes get so overwhelmed that I tend to forget that :)

[jro5139]

Originally Posted by username4this

Basically what makes me angry is a idea that runner's don't have to deal with chasers since runners are soooooo fragile and sooooo sensitive.

On the other hand, (any given) runner can deal with his partner, his parents, his kids, his friends, his colleges, his boss, his neighbors, his barber, his mechanic, his fishing buddies, his soc.media connections....
Im saying this in a humorous way and jokingly :), trying to convey idea behind this that runner's are so fragile, so incompetent to deal with emotions, but yet they seam to be extremely adaptable in real life, successful and able to communicate their needs with anybody else in their life.

And also they have time, energy and space for all those people but not for the poor chaser :( - sigh- you know what I mean :)
Well, rant over :)

I like this topic because I feel like it is valid to assume that someone that cares about you will answer you if you message them or someone that is supposed to be your friend. But are you guys that feel this way sure your twins have good relationships with other people besides you? I ask because mine doesn't; he sucks at relating to people, he has very few friends, he hates his parents, and even though he does have a good job he has been in trouble at work for lack of socializing and inability to relate to others, also he is notorious for not answering people that email him about work. In his marriage I feel like she is emotionless and so he doesn't have to deal with emotions with her, whereas I'm an emotional rollercoaster. Although when I was around him in person he complained about her a lot(??)

When he considered me off limits (because of his job) but told me he felt the same he always answered me if I sent him a message and we would message back and forth a few times a week... when I stopped being off limits, he told me he was pumped to be my friend and he will answer me when I message him but if I send him a message 2 or 3 days in a row he will freak out and say he can't talk to anyone that much. And I am not allowed to bring up our past so I get really frustrated not being able to talk about how I feel.

I know what you guys mean about narcissistic tendencies too.. I stopped contact because I read a bunch of stuff about that, unavailable men and he just fit what I was reading so well, it suggested no contact but it didn't change my feelings at all...

[Shivani Devi]

There are a LOT of dynamics at play here.

With Dave and I, we have so many 'mitigating circumstances' governing our communications, that I have given up even trying to put it within a timeframe or expecting any reply outside of about 3 days...but we usually manage to speak with each other (on here) a few times a day.....even though the reply might not be immediate, it eventually happens.

1. I'm in Australia, he's in America - that's a big one for starters.
2. I cannot talk to him when my mother is around and he cannot talk to me when his family is around either.
3. We both are anti-social and pretty much notorious for not answering e-mails or texts.
4. We both have other commitments towards friends and family...our duties/responsibilities as well as our hobbies and jobs (he fixes PCs for people and I do volunteer work).
5. We both have spiritual lives and also need to take time out to meditate, pray, read, spend time in nature and do things that nourish our souls.
6. We both need to eat and sleep.

It is a wonder and a miracle we can even talk at all but we manage.


Last time I didn't hear from him for a whole day, I was a bit annoyed and angry...I was like 'why? what happened? why you ignoring me?'

He told me that he was very sad and upset because one of his best mates just died from cancer that morning and he needed time to grieve.

Kinda puts things into perspective a bit, doesn't it?

From that day on, I have never been so selfish as to wonder why my boyfriend isn't talking to me.

[Goddessa]

Right now my ego is itching to just drop him and run as far away from him as possible. Yes, to give him a taste of his own medicine. I've calculated that my twin, the runner, thinks its ok to check up on me once every 3 months. When he does text, email or call after the three months, there is no explanation as to why my attempts at communication with him have been ignored. And usually I'm in such a bubble of bliss for being handed these little scraps of attention by him that I usually don't ask. He does this, makes me feel happy and giddy for a few days and then he vanishes again. Really high highs and devastatingly low lows.

For the past 3 weeks however, he has been present. Its now escalated to thepoint of several times of communication during the day and I had to catch myself tonight in a moment of giddy happiness. I just angry for allowing someone to manipulate my moods like this! Really angry. I feel like telling him to back off and give me some space because he is now moving too fast and I don't know why. Most importantly, I have done a lot of inner work to try and be strong and to accept the fact that this is not a conventional relationship. I was getting somewhere and feeling a lot less stressed. It is true that they somehow seem to sense this because now he is all over me. He even told me that he feels that my "spirit is stronger and freer'. I just don't want him to mess that up, so my ego wants protection - it wants to run. It wants to give him a taste of his own medicine too.

[Inika]

I was getting somewhere and feeling a lot less stressed.

Exactly!
Here are some options to consider. You keep on with your progress while remaining in contact, putting all grievances aside. No carrying the past bothersome into it.
Or, allow ego to play its game.
Or, respectfully request time out to heal some more on your own, solitude soul time for reflection.
Or, decide that this soul connection hinders your growth rather than uplifts it and abandon ship. (This to me still runs under ego as all connections teach us, as we them. Naturally everything runs its course no matter how much we resist or persist)

In the end whatever is happening is for a reason.

[Traveler80]

I don't normally respond here as I'm kind of trying to stay away from screens, social media, etc., but this post really struck a chord with me. I guess you could call me the chaser, I mean, she is the one that left and I didn't want her to go. We were just friends and I was (and still) married so it's not like I could have just showed up holding a boom box over my head under her apartment window and begged her to stay. I spent the better part of four years trying to find an answer, making small talk over phone and text from a thousand miles away until she just stopped responding. I would actually look at my phone and want to throw it in a lake because the girl I loved so much was nothing more than a few memories in a tiny little expensive picture frame in my jeans pocket. Being friends, buds, whatever you want to call it we talked...about life, music, sports and relationships. I remember the day I asked her if she had ever been in love...she said "yes, I guess, once." In that moment it wasn't much more than a quick thought. It took me four years to realize she was talking about me. Four years for me to realize that by letting me go she was doing for me the only thing that somebody could do when you truly love another person...allowing me to build my relationship with my wife, my kids, everything that I have made a commitment to in my life before meeting her. This process has been the hardest, strangest, most eye-opening experience I have ever been through. I'm not sure if we will ever meet again in this lifetime, the last time I saw her I had a feeling our paths wouldn't cross again...that was way before I even knew what a twin flame was or had any knowledge of spiritual connections. I love this girl beyond any type of "love" that I've ever experienced in my 41 years...and yes that does put some guilt in my corner because I have a life and present reality far removed from looking up at the stars and thinking of her. I'd like to imagine that I would at least hear from her again at some point, but in a way that scares me more than not.

Enjoy this gift we have been given...it is for a reason.

[username4this]

Thank you for responding guys and welcome to new posters to this forum :)

Everything you all said - I can write one way or another... :)

Originally Posted by jro5139

But are you guys that feel this way sure your twins have good relationships with other people besides you?

Good question :) I cant tell for sure.
What Im sure is this, on the surface as a lets say "casual friend" my TF is good at being that to other people, meaning being nice, talkative, polite, charming, perfect gentlemen.

Deep down having real, close friends - I cant tell how really close he is or he isnt with others. He used to complain that there are people he likes as friends but "there isnt time for them to hang around". Honestly it felt more like they exulted him than time issue. Now with social media I wonder whether he connected with them since soc.media opens up new ways of being connected... (we split before soc.media was a thing lol)

What I know for sure is that he can be egoistical, nit-picky type of person, have this "im better than others" attitude but at the same time being so incredibly insecure about everything: the way he looks, the way he lives, what would other say about this and that... Im sure he is almost like a coworker from hell too lol to people who work with him, since he can be stubborn and nitpicky and all those things that makes you dont like other person as a coworker I guess... lol

Im gonna trow in some examples of how he behaved (since others may now or later when they found this thread to find similar at least)

So in the phase when we were just friends, this following phone call
So we are talking over the phone and at one point
He says: "Organization Im working with have this event down town next week"
Me:" Oh really? When exactly? Im free, I might as well come and we can gab cup of coffee afterwards after the events".
Him: "Never mind"
Me: "Ok"
convo keeps about other subjects
--Next week convo--
after other topics
He says: "So we had this event last Wednesday downtown"
Me:"Oh yeah, I remember you mentioned that, I asked you what time, I wish I knew when it was we could grab cup of coffee then"
Him: "Well, if PEOPLE wanted to know when it was, they could just google search and find info on organization's website page" (and he sounds offended)
Me: "But I asked you when, you said never mind ...."
Him: "People who cared enough to find the info they would find out"

......

Next time, when we dated, he used to complained I not just call him too much but "want him to call me" too much, so I decided to not call for a couple of days.
We had previously set the date when we are gonna see each other so I haven't called him for couple of days. Upon my arrival to the spot, his first sentence was
"Nobody loves me, nobody cares about me"
Me: "What? You know how much I love you and others loves you too what are you saying"
Him: "Nobody loves me, nobody cares about me, I had awful day the other day and nobody called me, asked me how am I doing"
Me: "You said I call too often, I wanted to give you space..."
He literally just repeated how "nobody loves him" one more time
Me: "So you wanna go to grab the dinner after this show (we attended)"
Him: "No, Im tired"

Traveler80
They say if you are TF you are always connected and there is always a way that you are gonna be connected again in life... You never know what time will bring :)

[jro5139]

Originally Posted by username4this

Good question :) I cant tell for sure.
What Im sure is this, on the surface as a lets say "casual friend" my TF is good at being that to other people, meaning being nice, talkative, polite, charming, perfect gentlemen.

Deep down having real, close friends - I cant tell how really close he is or he isnt with others. He used to complain that there are people he likes as friends but "there isnt time for them to hang around". Honestly it felt more like they exulted him than time issue. Now with social media I wonder whether he connected with them since soc.media opens up new ways of being connected... (we split before soc.media was a thing lol)

What I know for sure is that he can be egoistical, nit-picky type of person, have this "im better than others" attitude but at the same time being so incredibly insecure about everything: the way he looks, the way he lives, what would other say about this and that... Im sure he is almost like a coworker from hell too lol to people who work with him, since he can be stubborn and nitpicky and all those things that makes you dont like other person as a coworker I guess... lol

So him being charming could be a show, like with mine, he is very charming, charismatic, funny and lots of girls have crushes on him, people like him a lot... I just know him well enough to know a lot of that is a show... mine is also insecure about what others think, his looks, etc etc. So insecure and egotistical at the same time. He tells me he doesn't have many friends but then tells me he is cutting people off for being negative or acting goofy. They sound a lot alike lol.

[Star Aura]

Originally Posted by RedRose

My apologies to the OP too if my responding to this is inappropriate on this thread.

StarAura, I'm new to all this at my physical age so I'm right there with you, learning about all this!..lol...But much research after going through 2 different eye locks with meeting 2 Soulmates within a year has told me that physical age means squat to Souls..lolol..;)

I don't know if you've tried this but I've been told to meditate and speak with my Spirit Guides to get guidance...Have you tried that to get answers on how to heal the karma between you and any Soul Connection?...i, myself, need to learn to talk to my Spirit Guides..lol......But I went to a reputable Psychic recently to get my answers on how to handle my (Karmic) hubby because our marriage had always been difficult but just recently it's gotten super bad (he might've been borderline narcissistic early in our relationship but lately he's been a full-on narcissist) and 2 yrs ago I had a gut feeling I really needed to divorce him...I had all my instincts/feelings and "knowing" all confirmed by this Psychic...She told me at this point, our relationship had plateaued (where there were no more lessons to be learned) before it got super bad between us, so therefore, she told me that "divorce" would end the Karma between hubby and me...Now, if only the narcissist would only move forward with it..lol

StarAura, having your self-awareness at your age is awesome!...It's already working very well for you!..:)...If you're aware enough about these connections being different than your "normal" encounters, I'd always trust your gut on it..;)...it's always been there for me even as a teen...I've always known that there's something deeper than skin deep...I couldn't put my finger on it but I just knew!..Continue to trust yourself, it's all there within you..:)

Wishing you luck on your Soul Connection journey!..Sending light and love your way!..:)..

I can really relate to you with a lot of things you shared with me! He pops in my minds eye i find it weird cause it's so random haha I've never had a spiritual type of connection to ppl as a teen ,if I did I wouldn't have been aware back then, but only in the past few years I've learnt a lot about different energies and their impacts on you and the spiritual journey I've felt what energy vamp ppl and negative spirit energy are like to what love from the heart of ppl and pure divine love feels like, even what the grounded love feels from hugging trees ehehe (I love trees ) I've learnt the feel in your solar plexus when your connected to someone and someone's face comes right into your minds eye view and it's like your souls pulling... idk how else to describe it really lol I know a lot of peep go through this stuff too it's just apart of the spiritual awakening journey isn't it... I guess with this connection I have to this particular person strikes me because it's not physical and there is karma between us which I believe is why I'm drawn to it strongly for healing, I don't think some people are meant to be in your life... And something about finding out about what the karma is freaks me out a lil but I need to just get over it and go heal it with him and move forward on our journeys :) ... Hehe anyway thank you for sharing a bit of your story with me I wish you loads of luck and goodness too thanks for the awesome advice and kind words ❤️❤️

[Shivani Devi]

Another problem occurs when one is living in a different dimension to their TF.

For example, if you are in 5D and they are still in 3D or vice versa.

Oh the times I have been in 5D and I have to wait for days/weeks for those in 3D to be able to catch up and 'be on the same page'.

The 'dimensional rift' is terribly frustrating.

In 5D, time moves differently and if one is to just remain there and continue on regardless without waiting for anybody else in 3D, they'll just leave them all far behind.