Three years ago I moved cross-country and have been super busy with school (phd student). I have finally finished my comprehensive exams and am ready to branch out and make some good friends. However, making friends isn't going as well as I had hoped.
I made quite a few friendly acquaintances over the years, but my environment is naturally competitive and not super healthy for making good friends. So lots of the people I connected with have either left academia or have decided they do not want to be friends with anyone in academia.
I have made some new friends this year and have put in the effort to meet them for lunch and hang out. But I'm not sure what to do after hanging out. Do I give a few days or a week before I contact them again? Should I not appear desperate? I feel like this is worse than dating. I'm not really sure what to do.
The people who I feel like I could be good friends with are on my facebook and before we started hanging out we chatted all the time and got along great. Now that I have hung out with some of them the chatting has stopped. Although when I hung out with them we talked in person for a really long time and I thought it went really well. They are mostly grad students like me so are probably really busy too, but I am not sure what to do.
I'm also at the age where everyone is in a serious relationship. I just got out of a six year long serious relationship. So the last time I made good friends I was either single but in my early twenties or was in a committed relationship and made friends with other committed people. Now that I have more free time I'm not even sure what to do or how to approach possible friendships. I am also feeling really insecure.