Just got an update on my TF

[Jatd]

I just got a call from his grandmother who I am very close with. She proceeded to tell me that he has gone downhill. No job, Quit school (college), is pretty much doing nothing at all and is more than likely back in to drugs. This is HEARTBREAKING for me to hear because when we were together he was in school, loved it and doing amazing, had a job and was looking for others.. was motivated and happy. He had also given up drugs and even quit smoking.
I guess we have to reach rock bottom before we can start to work on ourselves huh? I just wish there was something I could do.
She also told me that he told her at one point a while back that he didn't think he could live up to what everyone thought he should be FOR me. Which is also heartbreaking. :(
All I can do is keep working on myself and send him love and comfort.

[Element 5]

Oh Jatd, I'm sorry to hear this. I think the best thing you can do is meditate on this and 'bring him in' and talk to him about it. Maybe you can help him on a subconscious level. Maybe the reason he is having such trouble is that he doesn't know how to cope on his own and can't seem to ask for help either. If he doesn't want the communication he won't accept it. But it's still worth a try.

Originally Posted by Jatd

I just got a call from his grandmother who I am very close with. She proceeded to tell me that he has gone downhill. No job, Quit school (college), is pretty much doing nothing at all and is more than likely back in to drugs. This is HEARTBREAKING for me to hear because when we were together he was in school, loved it and doing amazing, had a job and was looking for others.. was motivated and happy. He had also given up drugs and even quit smoking.
I guess we have to reach rock bottom before we can start to work on ourselves huh? I just wish there was something I could do.
She also told me that he told her at one point a while back that he didn't think he could live up to what everyone thought he should be FOR me. Which is also heartbreaking. :(
All I can do is keep working on myself and send him love and comfort.

Sorry to hear the news. Sounds like he's going through dark night of the soul so at least see that positive aspect of his situation. Personally I'd reach out to him without giving the specifics about what you know so that at least he has some HOPE in his situaiton. He's showing more than a few signs of someone that would at least be considering suicide even if he disguised it as an accident (OD'ed/car crash,ect). The main reason why people take their life is because they completly lose hope that the emotional pain will go away. They believe they will forever remain in their hell which is why the look for an escape from this life. I don't mean to make this even more difficult for you but if he does take his life you won't want to live knowing you stood by and said/did nothing . His grandmother clearly knows you're important to HIM and I see this as her way of asking you to help him.

[Andromeda27]

I agree with BL, this sounds like a cry for help from his grandmother. Can you write him a letter?

[Jatd]

Originally Posted by BeautifulLife

Sorry to hear the news. Sounds like he's going through dark night of the soul so at least see that positive aspect of his situation. Personally I'd reach out to him without giving the specifics about what you know so that at least he has some HOPE in his situaiton. He's showing more than a few signs of someone that would at least be considering suicide even if he disguised it as an accident (OD'ed/car crash,ect). The main reason why people take their life is because they completly lose hope that the emotional pain will go away. They believe they will forever remain in their hell which is why the look for an escape from this life. I don't mean to make this even more difficult for you but if he does take his life you won't want to live knowing you stood by and said/did nothing . His grandmother clearly knows you're important to HIM and I see this as her way of asking you to help him.

Thank you for saying that. Yes he has been suicidal. He has actually tried twice before and then we met.. and he told me he had never been happier and that he finally loved life. He was growing so much and now he's back down again. I was actually thinking about him yesterday and had the urge to tell him how much I love him and so I sent him an email with all the reasons why I love him. I don't know if he got it.. but I was glad I sent it after hearing from his grandmother today. I just don't know how much I can do other than love him and pray he comes out of this.

Originally Posted by Jatd

Thank you for saying that. Yes he has been suicidal. He has actually tried twice before and then we met.. and he told me he had never been happier and that he finally loved life. He was growing so much and now he's back down again. I was actually thinking about him yesterday and had the urge to tell him how much I love him and so I sent him an email with all the reasons why I love him. I don't know if he got it.. but I was glad I sent it after hearing from his grandmother today. I just don't know how much I can do other than love him and pray he comes out of this.

People that are this deep in a depression need HOPE not just hearing someone loves them. He needs to have hope that his current situation will change and that its only temporary. The fact that he's tried to take his life not ONCE but twice before put this situation into the URGENT category.
If his main reason for not being with you is because he doesn't feel he's worthy this is only going to drive him deeper and create more hopelessness in his life since he's now got even MORE reasons for why you two will never be together.

Would he flip out if he knew his grandmother told you about his situation? I'm guessing if you two are "close" he'd only assume that you knew the details..no? If that's the case I'd call him and tell him your worried about him and that you're there for him 24/7 if he ever needs someone to talk to. Even better if he doesn't answer the phone since you can leave a voice mail and i'm, guessing he won't delete it (I save EVERYTHING from my TF). If he's anything like me he'll listen to it over and over again espeically if he's deciding to try and take his life again. Focus on HOPE in your message to him since he needs hope more than love right now.

Just so happend to post this on FB last sunday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ahha3Cqe_fk

"All this money can't buy me a time machine (No)
Can't replace you with a million rings (No)
I shoulda told you what you meant to me (Whoa)
Cause now I pay the price"

[Jatd]

I called, left a message. I know he'll listen. It's all I can do.

[smARTistic girl]

Been there, Jatd. <\3 you message me if you need to talk, ok?

Originally Posted by Jatd

I called, left a message. I know he'll listen. It's all I can do.

Good job <3