A Nondualistic Duality?

[sky]

Originally Posted by catsquotl

Akkosa had the decency to come to the Buddha and tell him to his face how he felt.

So there's not 1 but 2 differences.
I am no Buddha.. david isn't a decent man.
He isn't offering me anything. He is trying to paint a false picture of me.

Now Buddha was wise enough to explain what he meant if someone twisyted his words and coild rephrase them accordingly. I am not there yet so I confront david with the false image he is mistaken to accept as reality.

With love
Eelco

Ok

Originally Posted by sky123

Ok

I'm sorry sky123.
I didn't mean to dismiss your post.
I do appreciate the sutta exerpt and the sentiment with which I assumed you posted it.

With Love
Eelco

[davidsun]

Originally Posted by blossomingtree

This is getting a bit too abusive, davidsun.

FWIW for your consideration

BT

I don't share (what I see as being) your unrealistic attitude and philosophy, BT. I hope you can see my sharings as really being Life-cherishing someday. IMO, I am not being 'abusive' - just spreading some tough-love by potentially usefully calling a spade as spade.

Thank you in advance for your 'consideration', as you so 'disarmingly' - nothing 'wrong' with that 'tactic' either, aye what?! - put it.

[sky]

Originally Posted by catsquotl

I'm sorry sky123.
I didn't mean to dismiss your post.
I do appreciate the sutta exerpt and the sentiment with which I assumed you posted it.

With Love
Eelco

Not to worry, try and not take things to seriously

[slash112]

Originally Posted by davidsun

I don't share (what I see as being) your unrealistic attitude and philosophy, BT. I hope you can see my sharings as really being Life-cherishing someday. IMO, I am not being 'abusive' - just spreading some tough-love by potentially usefully calling a spade as spade.

Thank you in advance for your 'consideration', as you so 'disarmingly' - nothing 'wrong' with that 'tactic' either, aye what?! - put it.

I definitely see the purpose for tough love in the world. I practiced it myself for a little while, until someone reminded me the value of a gentle hand. I immediately saw that I was being a douchebag without realizing it.

The world needs more understanding and love. Sometimes you gotta be really understanding to provide a gentle hand.

If you continue to provide tough love, that's well within your rights, but in my opinion there's a better way. (but who am I to say what's better for you)

[Jyotir]

Hi slash,

I also view so-called 'tough-love' as problematic, especially in the context of spiritual discussion. Even if one's reply does actually constitute a statement of significance (which is often questionable anyway), does one really need to declare it as such? Pre-emptively? That's perhaps too much information!! And ultimately counterproductive anyway. Iow, it's telling in terms of the real attitude towards others behind the comment. "I'm superior and I'm condescending to coerce your much-needed agreement with my superior status which you may not realize now, but I'm saving you from a dire fate. You need this (my way, my view) even if you don't know it." Etc.

Declaring one's intention outright as "tough love" while not inherently abusive, is certainly condescending and paternalistic in that way. It presumes much about relative personal status (one's perception of it) as an actual content of the reply - including the usurping/pre-emption of others' own evaluation by the overconfident assertion of personal necessity (it's really a kind of aggression), instead of just making one's case in principle and assuming equality of reception; that others will make the necessary determination for themselves. It's a subtly intended coercion. Or that one views others as children.

If the comment really has merit, and is made clearly, it can stand on its own and be evaluated by autonomous recipients without the convoluted qualifications and moralistic goading.

~ J

[sky]

Originally Posted by slash112

I definitely see the purpose for tough love in the world. I practiced it myself for a little while, until someone reminded me the value of a gentle hand. I immediately saw that I was being a douchebag without realizing it.

The world needs more understanding and love. Sometimes you gotta be really understanding to provide a gentle hand.

If you continue to provide tough love, that's well within your rights, but in my opinion there's a better way. (but who am I to say what's better for you)

Tough love given with a gentle hand is perfect I think it's about getting the balance right.

[slash112]

Well said J!

sky, yeah true, there's always a balance to be had, isn't there

[swampgrl]

Threads with discord generally receive the most activity. Gee, I wonder why?

What to do. What to DO.

Baby, won't you lay, lay down
And watch this water boil
Let the others run around
Just this once
Lay down with me a moment

Before enlightenment, boiling water.
After enlightenment, "same same but different. But still same."

Soups on, who's doing the dishes?

[slash112]

Originally Posted by swampgrl

Before enlightenment, boiling water.
After enlightenment, "same same but different. But still same."

I like that one