What's happening at the moment?

Hello everyone, I'm new and I just recently registered here :).

My life is quite complicated at the moment regarding some health problems.(I already saw a doctor, I'm currently treated by an alternative practitioner) According to my opinion, it's quite serious but on the other hand I'm pretty neurotic and I easily obsess about things which can lead to not-so-rational fears.

But due to this situation I find myself in at the moment I discovered my spirituality again (a few years ago I was quite inclined to esoteric and stuff, but my interests shifted based on some strange events back then, which I later discovered to be Kundalini).

Well, as I said, spirituality is quite a huge concern for me at the moment and I started communicating with whatever there is guarding me as an individual again. (a few years ago I did aswell).

I'm very sceptical and wary regarding such things as I don't believe it to be some sort of angelic or fairylike entity watching over me - all I know is that there is something and the only reason I have faith in that is because I experienced it myself. I can feel energy, but that's all. I did a few guided meditations for getting to know your guides/angels and everytime the being that showed up was a different one(which impicates it to be my imagination). I've received some signs as you call it during some dark times..but then I'm not sure if it isn't only wishful thinking.

I'm sickly for more than 2 months now and my situation only worsens. I begged my spirit for help almost everyday or that he/they at least give me a hunch about what's wrong with me - and nothing happens. The only ''message'' I got during a meditation was something like 'Don't stress yourself so much'' But this could have been my subconsciousness aswell.

And now the communication has vanished - I can't feel any external energy anymore, I don't receive signs or whatever and I don't know why the spirit or the other dimensional world or whatever there might or might not be won't answer. I know that I sound quite demanding but it really isn't like that, I'm just very desperate at the moment and really ask myself why I don't receive help.

I'm trying stuff like automatic writing, I meditate. But I'm just stuck here and seemingly noone is supporting me...

Can any of you explain this behavior of the guides or spirit or whatever to me? Does anyone know why they won't even tell me what's wrong with me (I already thought of it to be a learning process, but I really can't think of anything to learn from that)

I received 2-3 names once, but now, as it seems .. it could all just be my imagination making this up.

Sorry for writing that much and Thanks in advance :)

Omyak

[Lynn]

Hello

At times we have to just let it all go and let things settle. We at times get ill to tell us that its time to take a break. I know that all too well. For me it will be an asthma attack that comes so I learned to listen to the messages the body gives.

We are never given more than we can take on but we can push doors open that we are not yet ready to have open. Keeping that in mind always listen to the body.

Lynn

along with Lynn said I willing to guess between your doubt and your illness it may be hard to communicate with you at this time and maybe the silence is also a message, relax continue your meditations and they will be back.

have faith in them and yourself.

meow for now (^..^)
Blessed be

[yellow]

As Lynn and Enigma said, take care and try to relax. I'm sure your Guides will come through as they did before. It's not your imagination. We all go through doubts.... I know I did before. It will come good.