Spiritual awakening advice

[sagee_1912]

This is my first post, I'm not really sure what to say or if I'm even posting in the right place, but I would really love some advice.

Just to preface, ever since I can remember I have always been able to see/hear/feel spirits. I just kinda got used to it, it was never a big deal or a real interference in my life. 4 ish months ago, someone I cared deeply for took their own life and his spirit attached himself to me. This seemed to be a catalyst for a spiritual awakening. (I think that's what it's called?) It has been very conflicting because I feel I have gained a lot of positive insight and I really really love this perspective I've developed.


At the same time, however, I am so miserable. I've heard that it is normal to feel terrible during spiritual shifts. It's very hard for me to explain everything and how I've been feeling. Basically, I know that there is life after death, and I know how incredible it is. And I want it. I feel stuck here, and I feel out of place, incredibly lonely and almost "homesick." I also miss my friend so much and I want to be with him.


This sounds dramatic, but the best way I can describe it is if you were to move to a new country, feeling insanely lonely, feeling like you cannot connect with anybody because they are so different from you. You miss your friends and family, you can see pictures of them on Facebook and send a short message to them once in a while, but you can never truly speak with them or see them again no matter how badly you miss them. You see pictures of them at home having such an amazing time full of love and hope and light, no worries no violence and no sadness. Then you see yourself here, feeling miserable and out of place. All you want more than anything is to go home and experience that too, but you can't.


Since I am able to see how wonderful it is there and compare it to the unhappiness of here, of course I want to be there. I'm just hurting very much and I feel very overwhelmed with emotion, scared, and not really wanting to live. I think it would just be nice to hear similar experiences? I feel crazy talking about this, I keep it to myself mostly because I do sound crazy. Anyway, thank you so much in advance for any advice, I really appreciate it so so much. I'm sorry that was all over the place.

[John32241]

Hello,

Welcome to the forum.

We are always spirit beings even when we are involved with a physical life expression. That may be a challange to appreciate. Our spirit does not go into a state of stagnation because we have a human form.

What I would encourage is to become more comfortable and at home with being in a physical expression. That way you can replace that unhappiness with joy and a true appreciation for the value of being happy in physical reality.

You wanted to be here and not there even if you can not remember why.

John

[happy soul]

I'm sorry about your friend sagee.

My advice is to just accept yourself as you are and do whatever makes you happy. Have fun and enjoy life. All is well.

[Golden Eagle]

Grace is a state of Consciousness only available to us in this World .......

No matter how beautiful the Higher Astral Realms are in appearance , that is the one thing not available there .......

This is the "WHY" in why here!!??

The "HOW" of Grace is not explainable with words ~ Experienceable ! is the closet term. But not Reachable without the Divine Source . ~

Fix your INTENTION relentlessly on GRACE (the Divine) ...... Intention and WILLINGNESS are needed or failure is certain.

[EnlightenedPursuits]

Keep in mind that all of your feelings and emotions are valid; you're feeling them for a reason and don't let anyone tell you that you should feel otherwise.

You are also in this existence for a reason. If you were meant to be somewhere else, you would be there already.

The fact that you exist is purpose enough in your life; your being influences much around you, a lot of which you might be unaware of.

I send you love, peace, and harmony and hope you find a community of like-minded individuals here.

It's understandable that a bereavement can affect a person so very deeply. Picture the elderly couple, inseparable on Earth, then one of them passes on. It can be devastating to the one remaining whose hope then lingers on joining them in time when their turn comes, perhaps praying for it. It can lead the remaining person to shift their beliefs very suddenly - not always negatively because they will live with the spirit of the one they've lost. How lonely might they feel in their community then, more than half of their fullness gone because their lives so overlapped but to them, that being is still there, talking to them, comforting them.

It doesn't sound much different from yourself. It sounds as if it's jolted you into an awareness you didn't have before. There's nothing crazy about talking about it or feeling it. It's happened. It's part of you and in its way, a wonderful thing has been brought upon you even as you grieve. You seem to be saying that.

As I reckon it, it needs time and patience and just not to be afraid. It isn't so much that time would be a great "healer" but a consolidation from which you grow, become acclimatised to what waking up brings. I doubt you'll ever lose contact with the spirit of the one you lost but they seem to be introducing you to their world and its values.

On the one hand a sad story, on the other a wonderful way to be awoken - by someone you recognise and whom you can cherish as you take your steps forward.

♥☼

Originally Posted by sagee_1912

Just to preface, ever since I can remember I have always been able to see/hear/feel spirits. I just kinda got used to it, it was never a big deal or a real interference in my life. 4 ish months ago, someone I cared deeply for took their own life and his spirit attached himself to me. This seemed to be a catalyst for a spiritual awakening. (I think that's what it's called?) It has been very conflicting because I feel I have gained a lot of positive insight and I really really love this perspective I've developed.


At the same time, however, I am so miserable. I've heard that it is normal to feel terrible during spiritual shifts. It's very hard for me to explain everything and how I've been feeling. Basically, I know that there is life after death, and I know how incredible it is. And I want it. I feel stuck here, and I feel out of place, incredibly lonely and almost "homesick." I also miss my friend so much and I want to be with him.

Sounds like me at around the same age, pretty damned close to.

Originally Posted by sagee_1912

Since I am able to see how wonderful it is there and compare it to the unhappiness of here, of course I want to be there. I'm just hurting very much and I feel very overwhelmed with emotion, scared, and not really wanting to live. I think it would just be nice to hear similar experiences? I feel crazy talking about this, I keep it to myself mostly because I do sound crazy. Anyway, thank you so much in advance for any advice, I really appreciate it so so much. I'm sorry that was all over the place.

"I am able to see." If you weren't able to see then you wouldn't be feeling they way you do, you would be blissfully unaware of anything to do with what's 'up there'. You know what's 'up there' and it feels wonderful but 'down here'? You have your whole Life in front of you and it's scary because you have no idea what's around the next corner never mind where you'll be in a couple of years' time. You can plan out a career for yourself but what kind of person will you be? That's the scary part, the not knowing.


Awakening is a destructive process for the most part because it can force us into facing things within ourselves we've either hidden away and pushed aside or didn't even know was there in the first place. It tears away the false facades we've built up and all we're left with is ourselves. Like being able to feel to this depth - feeling this level of scared, alone, longing to be anywhere else..... Often what can help with the awakening process is what are you awakening to? Are you awakening to your own depths?


When you've plunged to the depths you know where they are, when you hit the bottom there is only one direction in which to go. On the other side of that coin is the awakening to the depths you have within you. When you know what's 'up there' waiting for you what are you going to do in the meantime? You will move on, that much is inevitable and inescapable so the only question is how that will happen.

You see, the depths to which you are scared are the depths to which you can have faith, courage, strength...... Make the choice, because you do have one.

[soulforce]

Just to preface, ever since I can remember I have always been able to see/hear/feel spirits. I just kinda got used to it, it was never a big deal or a real interference in my life. 4 ish months ago, someone I cared deeply for took their own life and his spirit attached himself to me. This seemed to be a catalyst for a spiritual awakening. (I think that's what it's called?) It has been very conflicting because I feel I have gained a lot of positive insight and I really really love this perspective I've developed.

You might be a natural born medium. In my opinion I believe the Spirits on the other side choose their mediums, and for whatever reason they chose you.

Whether or not you want to pursue a career as a medium is totally up to you. You can tell them to go away. You just need to tell your Spirits guides to shut down that connection. However this is only a temporary fix. Naturally born mediums will always have the ability to connect regardless if they use it or not.

At the same time, however, I am so miserable. I've heard that it is normal to feel terrible during spiritual shifts. It's very hard for me to explain everything and how I've been feeling. Basically, I know that there is life after death, and I know how incredible it is. And I want it. I feel stuck here, and I feel out of place, incredibly lonely and almost "homesick." I also miss my friend so much and I want to be with him.

You're with him already. Just because he isn't alive doesn't mean he is separated from you. The immediate connection and strong feelings you've been experiencing is his way of connecting with you, and reassuring you that he's still there. Do you ever feel a pain in your chest when you think of him? That's your heart chakra vibrating at a very high level.

The saying a "broken heart" is actually what people experience when the heart chakra becomes open and very excited. This happens when their is a soul connection with a loved on on the other side. Sometimes there is a blockage in that area, and that loved one helped free that blockage giving you a sense of euphoria and feelings of yearning for something.

Allow yourself to experience this, because this is part of the healing process.

This sounds dramatic, but the best way I can describe it is if you were to move to a new country, feeling insanely lonely, feeling like you cannot connect with anybody because they are so different from you. You miss your friends and family, you can see pictures of them on Facebook and send a short message to them once in a while, but you can never truly speak with them or see them again no matter how badly you miss them. You see pictures of them at home having such an amazing time full of love and hope and light, no worries no violence and no sadness. Then you see yourself here, feeling miserable and out of place. All you want more than anything is to go home and experience that too, but you can't.

Facebook is about curating an image, which deviates from real life of that person. Facebook encourages instant gratification and validation. It can give you a false sense of purpose. You don't need facebook to make friends and you don't need facebook to find purpose. When I was 19, we didn't have facebook, and it wasn't something we ever needed to socialize. Even if your facebook friends look like their having the time of their life, honestly it's only a small window into their actual world.

We come to this world to learn, and perhaps what you need to discover is how to feel full filled and secure within yourself. If you exit this world before learning this lesson you would have passed up a great opportunity for spiritual expansion. At 19 your just beginning to live. Your soul is just starting to feel comfortable in this body. You have no idea the great things that are waiting for you down this road. There is so much this life has to offer that you need to experience. Don't deny yourself this life. Allow this life to show you what it has in store for you. If you decide to pursue your psychic abilities you might help a lot of people. 19 years is too early to decide that your done.

Since I am able to see how wonderful it is there and compare it to the unhappiness of here, of course I want to be there. I'm just hurting very much and I feel very overwhelmed with emotion, scared, and not really wanting to live. I think it would just be nice to hear similar experiences? I feel crazy talking about this, I keep it to myself mostly because I do sound crazy. Anyway, thank you so much in advance for any advice, I really appreciate it so so much. I'm sorry that was all over the place.

Okay, I'm going to share something with you which I debated with myself sharing on this board. Just 8 months ago, I was practically an atheist. I didn't believe in God or life after death. I didn't care about Spirituality. But I was generally content with that. I lived this way for about 9 years. Before that I use to be a Christian hence after leaving the religion I had no desire to return to Spirituality.

On Oct 1st 2017. A woman I've never met died in a mass shooting. She was a young mother, and married. For whatever reason, her death, caused me a tremendous amount of pain, and guilt. I felt it should have been me not her that died. It felt as if I had lost some one I loved, but I couldn't tell anybody about it, because who would understand?

So I suffered in silence, thinking I was crazy or at best delusional. My rational brain couldn't wrap itself around how I could feel so much guilt and sadness over this persons death whom I never met before . I started to fall into a deep depression, and I isolated myself from family and friends. And the pain came in waves. It was soul crushing pain. It was I think the worse pain I've ever felt in my life. It felt like it would last forever. It got so bad I became desperate to look for answers. I did a tarot reading, and I wrote about it in a journal. I was trying to figure out why this was happening to me. Remember I didn't believe in life after death. I didn't believe in God. So the fact I want toward Spirituality was how desperate I became for answers.

A tarot reader said, this person knew me and connected with me as she transitioned in to the light, to say hi. I was incredulous as I was skeptical, because deep down I use to make fun of people who believed in this stuff. But now I know I wanted to believe this was true, because it would mean I wasn't crazy, but if I'm not crazy, then why did she connect with me now?

Hence you're not alone feeling isolated and confused. What I can tell you is 8 months after her death. I'm a completely different person then who I was 8 months ago. I'm certain now there is life after death, and we have friends who we never met.

During one of my mediation sessions I got a glimpse of the other side. It is beautiful and loving. Everything what people say about it is true. However, I felt like I have to stay until my purpose is done. The more I focus myself to be apart of this world the closer I feel connected with God.