Not very supportive friend, feeling sad about this

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

olhosdeamendoa: I believe that as lightworkers we should be
careful on not projecting our own insecurities and fears into others and be
careful with the things we say when trying to help others.

i caution you to apply this idea to your own reaction towards your friend.
from what you've said, any and all overt behaviors resembling a desire
to be non-friendly have originated from you. you've merely assumed or
guessed at the motivations of your long term friend, and those may not
be accurate (i assume).
i believe that a strong relationship can withstand some sharing of unfiltered
opinions or observations. you can take it, and maintain your care for one
another. in fact, if you wanna be 100% positive and with good energy,
maybe you should apologize to your friend for holding the judgment you'd
formed against her [lol, but seriously].

i watched Doctor Strange the other day and there was a scene where
he was offered a position of responsibility, but he claimed that he wasn't
ready yet. the Sorcerer Supreme told him that that was always the case;
no one is ever fully prepared for the challenges that they must face.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

Originally Posted by shoni7510

I think your friend was naughty by trying to scare you with a card reading in order to tell you something that she was thinking all along, that was dishonesty. I think she should have had the courage to tell you directly as a friend instead of clouding it as a reading that it was not. Whether or not you are ready for it will be seen as you conduct your workshop and afterwards, this is your dream so you must pursue it to the best of your ability.

in general, i figure it's fruitless to ascribe poor motivations onto others...
it serves to disempower ourselves, since we can only control ourselves
and there's simply no way to correct an error that exists beyond our
control. it's been said: "change your thoughts and you change your world"
[Norman Vincent Peale]. there's literally no limit on the power of the mind
to implement change (imo).

[lilith]

Originally Posted by H:O:R:A:C:E

i watched Doctor Strange the other day and there was a scene where
he was offered a position of responsibility, but he claimed that he wasn't
ready yet. the Sorcerer Supreme told him that that was always the case;
no one is ever fully prepared for the challenges that they must face.

Yes. I agree with shoni and native spirit too. She doesn't sound honest. This actually reminds me on some teen movie where one cheerleader is manipulating the other because she is jealous and so on. You just do your thing and she'll do her work too, seems like she has quite a lot.

[Snow Goose]

Life coaching has been a love of mine for a long time, I don't sell it to others but it's always close to my heart.

Do you do tarot readings yourself? Get your cards out and have a play around, ask some questions. Tbh I only really trust myself and my own readings 100%, others feelings can intrude on readings. If you feel you need a reading go to a stranger.

[SaturninePluto]

Originally Posted by olhosdeamendoa

Thank you and I understand what you are saying, but what I felt at the time she said all those things to me wasn't that it was out of concern, but out of trying to make me feel insecure out of her own fears for herself.

She may even be concerned, but I am not exactly jumping off a cliff here. I am just doing a workshop. Worst case scenario, if it goes badly, I might learn valuable insights to apply in the future.

So, no need to say those things to me. I mean, if you don't have anything positive to say, just say nothing.

Because the question here is, it doesn't matter if I am ready or not, what matters is that I want to do this and I need to go 100% positive and with good energy.

I believe that as lightworkers we should be careful on not projecting our own insecurities and fears into others and be careful with the things we say when trying to help others.

I understand what you are saying, especially about going in with 100 percent positive energy.

And I do not know you or your friend personally, but as an observer by reading of your posts I wonder maybe if you're friend felt the reading as the only opportunity to express to you how she really felt, and so used it as a way of being honest about her feelings, but perhaps she simply lacked some tact in telling you?

My point though is if you really want to go in with 100 percent positivism that maybe some of the anger needs to be relinquished. Not on the side of your friend because you can not control her emotions. But you seem mature, honest, understanding and capable enough to work through some of your own.

We as human beings do not speak to each other in the way we mean 100 percent all of the time. We are capable of mistakes with the spoken word and in our speech as anyone else.

With what you said your friend seemed shocked by your anger, this does not tend to happen when someone is speaking with malicious intent. It sounds she may have lacked some tact in her behavior and speech. It is normal haha, it happens to to me with my friends and family all the time. But I do not hold it against them often as that creates resentment. Picking our battles in a way.

But you certainly are right, as are others here. What is important is that you follow your dreams, and if they do not work out just keep picking yourself up and trying again, or try something else if you want. You seem to know exactly what you want from life. This really is a positive thing. Best of luck.

Whether you and your friend make amendments is up to you, but please try and let go of any resentment you may feel, so you can go forward from a more complete place of positiveness.

[olhosdeamendoa]

Originally Posted by SaturninePluto

I understand what you are saying, especially about going in with 100 percent positive energy.

And I do not know you or your friend personally, but as an observer by reading of your posts I wonder maybe if you're friend felt the reading as the only opportunity to express to you how she really felt, and so used it as a way of being honest about her feelings, but perhaps she simply lacked some tact in telling you?

My point though is if you really want to go in with 100 percent positivism that maybe some of the anger needs to be relinquished. Not on the side of your friend because you can not control her emotions. But you seem mature, honest, understanding and capable enough to work through some of your own.

We as human beings do not speak to each other in the way we mean 100 percent all of the time. We are capable of mistakes with the spoken word and in our speech as anyone else.

With what you said your friend seemed shocked by your anger, this does not tend to happen when someone is speaking with malicious intent. It sounds she may have lacked some tact in her behavior and speech. It is normal haha, it happens to to me with my friends and family all the time. But I do not hold it against them often as that creates resentment. Picking our battles in a way.

But you certainly are right, as are others here. What is important is that you follow your dreams, and if they do not work out just keep picking yourself up and trying again, or try something else if you want. You seem to know exactly what you want from life. This really is a positive thing. Best of luck.

Whether you and your friend make amendments is up to you, but please try and let go of any resentment you may feel, so you can go forward from a more complete place of positiveness.

Thanks SaturninePluto.

But please notice that I didn't mention here or felt angry with her at any time.

I felt sad and stunned yes, but not angry. Especially because what I feel is that she was projecting her fears on me. She wants to move on from her current job and go into tarot reading and Astrology but she is afraid of taking the leap and doesn't feel ready to do it. And because I am taking the leap in my life, she was projecting.

I understand that and so I am not angry, but yes I am a bit stunned and sad because still she should know that her words can have an influence on the other person.

Actually I told her I was feeling a bit scared of doing the workshop because I am coming out of my comfort zone, and she said that is just my intuition telling me not do it. Then I told her that actually fear and intuition are two very different things.

I am an intuitive empath and am very connected with what I feel, and she kept on questioning that, saying that the cards say a different thing. It felt like a tentative to take your power away from you, you know!?

As it says in the movie "Sing" (I have a 5 year old lol), we are always scared of doing new things until we actually start doing them.

She was in fact the one that got angry with me when I said to her that I don't want or need her telling me that (or anyone for that matter) days before I do my first workshop.

And yes she lacks tact and she should be careful with that when doing readings to other people.

I'm not stopping talking to her, but to be honest I don't feel much like sharing how I feel to her regarding the workshop or anything else in my life.

[Flexi-Girl]

I would NEVER get a reading or any advise from someone I am close to ESPECIALLY after sharing something important. I am not saying their bad but your history and their image of who they THINK you are is going to cloud their perception. Their is also the factor of her unconscious fears and insecurities influencing her.

UGH! I don't see why it matters anyways. It's not like your wanting to do something extremely dangerous like drug addiction. You're wanting to help people and get paid for it. Why would that be an issue?

And all that aside, let's suppose she is totally accurate. So what! You'll go out and try something, you might fail and learn some lessons, but then you'll be all that much better for it.

I have to wonder where this expectation comes from that our friends are supposed to be supportive. It's always just this assumption that "friends are supposed to be xyz". Who made up that rule? How can your friends or anyone other person possibly know what our heart calls us to do? I personally think we put to much of our own responsibility on our friends when we seek their council especially if that's not their area of expertise. You have this fixed relationship with this person, and now you're challenging her with new experiences. She may be you're friend but she is still human after all.

If I wanted genuine guidance on being a life coach, I would seek those already doing it successfully as friends. You'll get better and more honest support than someone who has never done it even if she is a psychic.

Also if you truly believe in this, why are you asking for a reading? It seems like her reading is probably just an indication of your own apprehension.

That's one major problem I have with readings. Even the best readings are just an indication of RIGHT NOW. When you're sure of something, you know it's going to happen, and you don't need to ask.

[olhosdeamendoa]

Originally Posted by Flexi-Girl

I would NEVER get a reading or any advise from someone I am close to ESPECIALLY after sharing something important. I am not saying their bad but your history and their image of who they THINK you are is going to cloud their perception. Their is also the factor of her unconscious fears and insecurities influencing her.

UGH! I don't see why it matters anyways. It's not like your wanting to do something extremely dangerous like drug addiction. You're wanting to help people and get paid for it. Why would that be an issue?

And all that aside, let's suppose she is totally accurate. So what! You'll go out and try something, you might fail and learn some lessons, but then you'll be all that much better for it.

I have to wonder where this expectation comes from that our friends are supposed to be supportive. It's always just this assumption that "friends are supposed to be xyz". Who made up that rule? How can your friends or anyone other person possibly know what our heart calls us to do? I personally think we put to much of our own responsibility on our friends when we seek their council especially if that's not their area of expertise. You have this fixed relationship with this person, and now you're challenging her with new experiences. She may be you're friend but she is still human after all.

If I wanted genuine guidance on being a life coach, I would seek those already doing it successfully as friends. You'll get better and more honest support than someone who has never done it even if she is a psychic.

Also if you truly believe in this, why are you asking for a reading? It seems like her reading is probably just an indication of your own apprehension.

That's one major problem I have with readings. Even the best readings are just an indication of RIGHT NOW. When you're sure of something, you know it's going to happen, and you don't need to ask.

Thanks Flexi-Girl.

I didn't ask her for the reading. She is learning tarot reading and she asked me if she could do me a general reading about how I feel and the current situation of my life. I said yes mostly because she needs to practice it, but I regret it.

So, no more readings from friends or close people, you're right. I am better off talking to a successful life coach.

[SaturninePluto]

Originally Posted by olhosdeamendoa

Thanks Flexi-Girl.

I didn't ask her for the reading. She is learning tarot reading and she asked me if she could do me a general reading about how I feel and the current situation of my life. I said yes mostly because she needs to practice it, but I regret it.

So, no more readings from friends or close people, you're right. I am better off talking to a successful life coach.

Yes I believe Snowgoose too had posted that when looking for a reading to ask a stranger. Flexi is very right that history between people can color our views. My family and friends do not usually ask me for tarot or other such readings I practice online and offer to do readings for those I do not know well. I like to go in knowing nothing about the person, and I have never ever told anyone not to do something- If I am concerned based off my intuition I tell them to be careful as most people are anyway, but to go in with a positive thought process. I never predict the future- I help people understand and offer support for what is happening with them now.

Yes expectations with friends and family can be iffy or a trifle tricky. We expect people to act in a certain manner and are often surprised when they do not meet expectations.

All of that aside though, I am glad you posted here- you do have support! I am very happy you are willing, ready and able to focus on your dreams. That is a great thing.

I was recently put in a similar situation where my brother offered me a job where he is the manager, for extra spending money for something just for me, as I go all out and give my money to my parents to pay the bills and keep food in the house etc. My brother told me he wanted me to have some extra for myself as I am out of work. I am excited and stoked, and instead of being afraid as I normally would, I am very shy, I am excited and looking forward to it.

But in the end the decision is up to my brother. He would be my boss.

If it doesn't work out it is no reflection on him and I will hold no resentments or regrets. I need to do this for me, to at least try and see what I am capable of. I have a feeling I will be delighted to learn what I can handle.

So best of luck with your career and on your path olhos. Get out there and do it. Many successes to you. You deserve them.

[olhosdeamendoa]

Hi guys,

Your support and responses here were amazing and just wanted to come here and share how the workshop went today.

It basically went AMAZING! I am so glad I did it and felt so ready and prepared as I was doing it.

I felt I created a safe space where everyone could open up and be vulnerable (including myself) and everyone loved it. No one wanted to go home at the end! lol

Maybe the reading from my friend was the stepping stone I needed to step fully into the energy of coaching and doing this.

Thanks everyone!