Constant Paranoia

So the past 4 days I have been feeling on the "edge". I feel as if I'm being watched or something. I close my eyes and I think I'm being watched so I open them. It's getting really frustrating as it's keeping me from going in the state of sleep paralysis. The thing I don't get is that I'm consciously not afraid of anything? It feels like my subconscious doesn't want me to know something, or it's protecting me from something. But I don't have any possible idea of what it is? It's holding me back from practicing astral projection. Is my subconscious telling me I'm not comfortable with it yet and I should wait longer or what? Any help with this is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

[Tobi]

It's possible you may feel slightly uneasy, stepping into aspects of spiritual awareness which you may not have been conscious of before...?

Try not to be scared because you already have -as a Spirit -had lifetimes of experience, and inter-dimensional experience in-between lives. You already are a multi-dimensional Being. And have lived more 'time' like that than you have spent in the physical world. The physical world is like the tip of an iceberg, compared to your Spirit's knowledge of inter-dimensional existence, and what exists and is possible beyond the physical reality.
The ego/personality in this life takes some time to catch up -that's all.
That can all feel a little scary to someone who is beginning to become conscious of their potential. There are bound to be unsure sensations, or even attempts by the ego to dissuade you!

Try not to force anything but allow yourself to grow and learn at your own speed, and take it sure but steady.

I don't think I'm afraid of anything because I know lots about it all and I know how to leave fear behind. The thing is, is that it's like staying in my subconscious as a "file" and that "file" will slip out of it's folder in to my consciousness then bringing fear. That's a really silly way to word it but it's the best way I can explain it. Although I think I'm not afraid of anything, I have been pushing everything off and waiting for that fear to disappear. I haven't been forcing anything on to myself at all, I give it time. The way I picture this "fear" is that it's in a shell, and within that shell, is nothing at all. With that being said, I am going to give this another week to go away. If it still remains I'm just going to simply ignore it and proceed with practicing everything once again.

When I was a baby, I might have thought, "I've seen the bigger kids run and jump and all sorts, I think I'll skip trying to walk and go straight for the running and jumping". Well, I probably didn't. If I thought anything at all, it will probably have been more along the lines of, "lets just get balance and coordination sorted and build from there".

You are talking about astral projecting, but you have bits of your mind that are closed to you and feelings you don't understand. I doubt you'd ever project under such circumstances, but if you did, I'd expect it to be a pretty bad experience as whatever it is that's locked in your mind will manifest in some way in the astral.

So before worrying about astral projecting, how about practicing some more basic meditation techniques to let the mind unlock itself first. I can tell you, you don't want to be heading out onto the astral plain if there are unidentified and unresolved negative mental energies in there.

Hey Badger1777,

Thanks for the advice! I can clearly understand the point you're trying to give. I'll do some meditation and see how everything goes from there.

[Tobi]

That's the whole point about what is called 'initiaton'. It's a process where subconscious elements of ourselves emerge to be seen and then integrated and consciously managed (I won't say 'controlled' because that doesn't convey it somehow.)
This of course, is a work-in-progress. But what you describe is something everyone has. Stuff -under the surface. Make friends with it.
Badger makes a good point. On the Astral, subconscious parts of ourselves/desires/fears etc come to the forefront. We can go out with the noblest of intentions, but what we really are/feel etc deep down is likely to be the reality we find ourselves in to a great degree.
Meditation will help to put you in touch with your eternal self....who is the perfect Manager for all this stuff.