Relating to one another

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by essvass

Hi BlueSky,

I am glad you addressed this. I've read most of your thread. I almost never post on SF these days and rarely read anything. I don't post because usually, I have nothing to contribute, often because of the age difference.

I was wondering what was it that you were looking for, more engaging conversations or a personal connection and/or friendship.

I wanted to know more about who you were but your profile said virtually nothing, if I am not mistaken. I am wondering if this has any meaning in the context of your thread.

I hope whatever you long for comes into your life.

Hello Essvass and thank you for your reply and kind wishes.
I think that I was wondering if possibly I am coming across in my words different than I think.
I think we all have something to share here. I hope you can feel that way too.
You only have me by a couple of years lol.
Thanks again and have a great day

[Jyotir]

Originally Posted by BlueSky

Thanks Jyotir. I hear you and agree with regards to expectations and that is why the first place I looked is within.
With me it's not that expect anything, it's just that in my non forum life it has always escaped me why close friends are do hard to find and why people have such a hard time accepting the differences we share so I settled on it just being the way I come across and the fact the people struggle with accepting others as they are. I guess I expect something different here and keep in mind that I am not suggesting that being why I am here.
I have a great life, a great family and I'm really happy. I just have always missed out on having close friends

Hi Blue Sky,

In my experience, a genuine friendship, especially an intimate one - that is truly mutually satisfying - is exceedingly rare, especially one with an extended continuity. I feel fortunate and try to be grateful for any fulfilling relationships - meaningful interactions of all kinds, including ones that last for only a brief moment. If they happen to continue and evolve that’s a further blessing, and all of that usually due to a God-ordained sanction and purpose for the participants - assuming participants are aware and sincerely responsive to that.

Otherwise what we call friendship is usually fraught with all kinds of challenging dynamics and frustrations - especially ones we find we cannot tolerate due to our own imperfections and deficiencies. Most so-called friendships (and that would include many marriages, etc.) are therefore less than healthy co-dependencies, subtle competitions, dominance/subservience/exploitation, demands/expectations, etc., mutual projection foils, etc. and are ultimately not progressive - except for the part where they (eventually) serve to reveal what needs to be worked on or walked away from.

Suggesting the spiritual view is that God/Highest Self is really the only true friend, and that being the case, all other human interactions are then within that purview. Deliberate focus on that dynamic is really the healthiest and most satisfying even if it takes a constant practice and vigilance to apply in real life - but then that's the point for those who have been awakened. In that sense, the best most successful and satisfying friendships are those in which both parties see and serve the divine in the other as the basis for any/all interaction.

As to the forum (and similarly internet in general) - same 'rules' or potentials would apply, but because the format is limited to abstractions of written communication, along with other constraints, in a way it's inherently more difficult to develop deeper relationships than simply intellectual/value agreement or discovery. That's why people voice that emotional satisfaction is often missing from their participation.


~ J

No one's bocked on my list. I'm far more likely to be on your ignore list than you are mine.

Like many here I concentrate on just a few sections and topics. I may be cautious about replying to a new member's post #1 if it seems to need a lengthy response because often they don't return to acknowledge the reply. But that's about it.

Hope you receive more attention in the future!

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by Jyotir

Hi Blue Sky,

In my experience, a genuine friendship, especially an intimate one - that is truly mutually satisfying - is exceedingly rare, especially one with an extended continuity. I feel fortunate and try to be grateful for any fulfilling relationships - meaningful interactions of all kinds, including ones that last for only a brief moment. If they happen to continue and evolve that’s a further blessing, and all of that usually due to a God-ordained sanction and purpose for the participants - assuming participants are aware and sincerely responsive to that.

Otherwise what we call friendship is usually fraught with all kinds of challenging dynamics and frustrations - especially ones we find we cannot tolerate due to our own imperfections and deficiencies. Most so-called friendships (and that would include many marriages, etc.) are therefore less than healthy co-dependencies, subtle competitions, dominance/subservience/exploitation, demands/expectations, etc., mutual projection foils, etc. and are ultimately not progressive - except for the part where they (eventually) serve to reveal what needs to be worked on or walked away from.

Suggesting the spiritual view is that God/Highest Self is really the only true friend, and that being the case, all other human interactions are then within that purview. Deliberate focus on that dynamic is really the healthiest and most satisfying even if it takes a constant practice and vigilance to apply in real life - but then that's the point for those who have been awakened. In that sense, the best most successful and satisfying friendships are those in which both parties see and serve the divine in the other as the basis for any/all interaction.

As to the forum (and similarly internet in general) - same 'rules' or potentials would apply, but because the format is limited to abstractions of written communication, along with other constraints, in a way it's inherently more difficult to develop deeper relationships than simply intellectual/value agreement or discovery. That's why people voice that emotional satisfaction is often missing from their participation.


~ J

So many people have no clue what higher self means and some of those same people have wonderful friends.
I hear you but I don't know.

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

No one's bocked on my list. I'm far more likely to be on your ignore list than you are mine.

Like many here I concentrate on just a few sections and topics. I may be cautious about replying to a new member's post #1 if it seems to need a lengthy response because often they don't return to acknowledge the reply. But that's about it.

Hope you receive more attention in the future!

thanks Lorelyen!

[Jyotir]

Originally Posted by BlueSky

So many people have no clue what higher self means and some of those same people have wonderful friends.

So it seems.
But it's transitory - - limited by temporary purpose (which we subjectively do not and often cannot know) or imperfection. However, we often do see more when things unravel.

Maybe someone will start a thread - or is this it?!? - on what internal guidelines and restrictions members employ to determine their own amount and type of participation. For instance I never respond to a direct inquiry when it's clear that the person hasn't taken the time to even read what I wrote and is simply reacting to key words while ignoring the actual content, etc. But I'll also not reply unless I feel that I can add constructively to what has already been stated. There's also simple time constraint - and style - I prefer being thorough as a means of challenging internal exploration - and less inclined to reactive 'chat' e.g. conversational response. I'm sure everyone has a whole mixed bag of parameters.

Btw, neither do I have anyone on "ignore". I think I can handle reading things that I didn't write.

~ J

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by Jyotir

So it seems. But it's transitory - - limited by temporary purpose or imperfection. We often don't see the entire story, but usually do when things unravel.

Maybe someone will start a thread - or is this it?!? - on what internal guidelines and restrictions members employ to determine their own amount and type of participation. For instance I never respond to a direct inquiry when it's clear that the person hasn't taken the time to even read what I wrote and is simply reacting to key words while ignoring the actual content, etc. But I'll also not reply unless I feel that I can add constructively to what has already been stated. There's also simple time constraint - and style - I prefer being thorough as a means of challenging internal exploration - and less inclined to reactive 'chat' e.g. conversational response. I'm sure everyone has a whole mixed bag of parameters.

BTW neither do I have anyone on "ignore". I think I can handle reading things that I didn't write.

~ J

Let's let this be the thread.
With me it's time constraints mostly, followed by the inability to get email notifications on subscribed threads. It works sometimes out of the blue but mostly not.
Writing style can throw me off but I try to get past that.

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by Jyotir

Hi Blue Sky,

In my experience, a genuine friendship, especially an intimate one - that is truly mutually satisfying - is exceedingly rare, especially one with an extended continuity. I feel fortunate and try to be grateful for any fulfilling relationships - meaningful interactions of all kinds, including ones that last for only a brief moment. If they happen to continue and evolve that’s a further blessing, and all of that usually due to a God-ordained sanction and purpose for the participants - assuming participants are aware and sincerely responsive to that.

Otherwise what we call friendship is usually fraught with all kinds of challenging dynamics and frustrations - especially ones we find we cannot tolerate due to our own imperfections and deficiencies. Most so-called friendships (and that would include many marriages, etc.) are therefore less than healthy co-dependencies, subtle competitions, dominance/subservience/exploitation, demands/expectations, etc., mutual projection foils, etc. and are ultimately not progressive - except for the part where they (eventually) serve to reveal what needs to be worked on or walked away from.

Suggesting the spiritual view is that God/Highest Self is really the only true friend, and that being the case, all other human interactions are then within that purview. Deliberate focus on that dynamic is really the healthiest and most satisfying even if it takes a constant practice and vigilance to apply in real life - but then that's the point for those who have been awakened. In that sense, the best most successful and satisfying friendships are those in which both parties see and serve the divine in the other as the basis for any/all interaction.

As to the forum (and similarly internet in general) - same 'rules' or potentials would apply, but because the format is limited to abstractions of written communication, along with other constraints, in a way it's inherently more difficult to develop deeper relationships than simply intellectual/value agreement or discovery. That's why people voice that emotional satisfaction is often missing from their participation.


~ J

Jyotir - I really feel this posting by you is spot on and it resonates with me and my life experiences to a "T". It's nice to have members on SF that can get to the heart of the matter with such skill and yet so understandable. I can appreciate feeling I've learned when reading your posts without it going completely over my head.

I pondered the same thing when i came here a year ago.
I don't have anyone on my block list and as lore said I'm far more likely to be on everyone else's list.

As of late I take this forum very lightly. Turned off all my notifications and i don't usually check to see if anyone even mentioned or replied to what i say out of habit of being "overlooked"

I could easily say my distance on here is a result of the community but really its me not second guessing myself or what my words offer. With that being said the dynamics of this forum have taught me much about my expectations of others and mostly myself.

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by Badcopyinc

I pondered the same thing when i came here a year ago.
I don't have anyone on my block list and as lore said I'm far more likely to be on everyone else's list.

As of late I take this forum very lightly. Turned off all my notifications and i don't usually check to see if anyone even mentioned or replied to what i say out of habit of being "overlooked"

I could easily say my distance on here is a result of the community but really its me not second guessing myself or what my words offer. With that being said the dynamics of this forum have taught me much about my expectations of others and mostly myself.

Yes for sure the dynamics of forums have taught me so much. In many ways good.
Thanks for replying, I hope to see you around