When you're left wondering: "Did they even care?"

[AandN]

I really want to apologize for posting so many threads in such a short period of time. I have no one to talk to about this and as I'm trying to navigate this new situation, I feel the need to talk about it on here as a sort of outlet.

Earlier, his girlfriend posted a picture of the flowers he sent her before work, with a small love note. I almost fainted, because the pain was too strong that I couldn't handle it. I broke down crying thinking to myself: "All I ever wanted was for him to receive my love and treat me the way he is treating her. Why did I have to be the one to go through hell and rejection?".

It killed me to see that he is so romantic with her. You can tell he's in love otherwise, he wouldn't do it. I have not dated someone in two years and I miss the feeling of being in love. My heart breaks a little bit more each day thinking he's showering her with love and devotion, and I'm sitting here, all alone still thinking of him.

He treated me like dirt and never apologized. He probably thinks he's got nothing to apologize for. Now, seeing him in love makes me wonder if he forgot about me. If he compares her and thinks she's much better than me. If he probably looks at me like an uptight train-wreck he dated years ago, but doesn't care much.

When I think rationally, I know I've changed and he wouldn't be a fit at all. But then I see a picture of her or him, and I break down in the most unexpected way, it almost looks like I've lost it. I can't seem to contain myself.

I don't know why it hurts so much. Most of my exes are now paired up, some are even married and it never hurt me this much. I feel like a loser. The biggest loser in high school who is waiting for the quarterback to notice her. It's unfair. He gets to have a "happily ever after" with a beautiful and successful girl and my life is void of any love, though I am open to receive it. I've worked on myself for so long, I know I'm in a different place now, but nothing is happening. It's as though he got rewarded for his bad deeds and I'm the victim of the ramifications.

All I wanted was to love someone who would love me back and I can't even get that right.

Do you ever get over the pain of them not caring anymore? Do you ever recover from such ultimate rejection?

[Adrienne]

AandN, sorry for the pain and heartbreak you are going thru. It is said, time heals and it does.....sorry there is no quick remedy or solution to what you are going thru.

I am thinking it might be best for you to stop looking at Facebook, or wherever you are seeing these posts / pictures she/ he are posting. That would be a first step.

Things happen as they are meant to happen, perhaps things didn't work out with this guy and you because ..... there is someone much better for you that you just haven't met yet !!

I know .... not what you probably want to hear, but someone had to say it, lol .

Best wishes to you ....write a letter to the Universe requesting someone just for you, be specific on what you are looking for in a guy.

Originally Posted by AandN

He treated me like dirt and never apologized. He probably thinks he's got nothing to apologize for. Now, seeing him in love makes me wonder if he forgot about me.

Think seriously about what you said above .... do you really want someone who ' treats you like dirt ' ?

I wouldn't !!! Give yourself a little respect and some credit, you deserve better !!

Maybe it is time .... you forget about him.

[AandN]

Originally Posted by Adrienne

AandN, sorry for the pain and heartbreak you are going thru. It is said, time heals and it does.....sorry there is no quick remedy or solution to what you are going thru.

I am thinking it might be best for you to stop looking at Facebook, or wherever you are seeing these posts / pictures she/ he are posting. That would be a first step.

Things happen as they are meant to happen, perhaps things didn't work out with this guy and you because ..... there is someone much better for you that you just haven't met yet !!

I know .... not what you probably want to hear, but someone had to say it, lol .

Best wishes to you ....write a letter to the Universe requesting someone just for you, be specific on what you are looking for in a guy.



Think seriously about what you said above .... do you really want someone who ' treats you like dirt ' ?

I wouldn't !!! Give yourself a little respect and some credit, you deserve better !!

Maybe it is time .... you forget about him.

Thanks.

I have already written a letter about a year ago and no one crossed my path. I was specific, but nothing.

It's been two years since we parted ways and I can't forget about him. It's easier said than done. There's no magic recipe, sadly.

[tveg11]

The best wisdom I ever received about these kinds of connections is that they mirror yourself back to you. With uncomfortable clarity.

I know you've heard it all before, but it's really important. The way he treated you is the way you treat yourself.

You need to be willing to love yourself. Like seriously, be completely in love with yourself. Embrace how effing amazing you are in every way, exactly as you are. And equally honour yourself enough to keep getting better and making healthy choices to improve your life.

It's really hard to feel loveable when you don't feel you're receiving love. But you have to understand that feeling unloveable is a block to receiving love. You ABSOLUTELY ARE LOVEABLE. So start believing it. And love yourself first. Paying yourself lip service isn't enough, you need to really jump in. I promise you, if you can do this, you will find peace, and you will find love.

If that love is meant to be with him, he'll start reflecting it back to you. If that love is meant to be with someone else, then you'll find the obsession with him diminishes organically. But, either way, in the meantime, you will always have yourself. And you are enough.

[Mused]

You are not allowing yourself to heal. You are feeding the pain by reading the posts.

[Theophila]

oh a and n how I feel for you...
What can I say, I know how you feel and going through worse...
My sc married less than two years ago, and I had to see his pictures with her,
I had a reunion exactly two years ago yesterday where not inly did I have to meet her ( had never met his gf then) and they announced the same day their wedding...
my marriage had broke down before this and this year my ex meets someone! And he wasn't the way he is now with her like he was with me...he was a jerk with me...he was abusive with me...
I ended up ill constantly the whole time we were married..from the psychological abuse...
And now ,I'm alone with a child and both of them got paired off with life partners and living the dream.....
I've been feeling exactly like you mentioned....the loser .....everyone is being blessed by life and I'm cursed...
It's tested my faith and pushed my soul to its limits...
And I don't have your age where I can at least look far ahead a hope ...
You are young , and have your whoooooole life ahead of you.
You will overcome this and maybe like the others said its for you to learn and see what you need for yourself, a mirroring....
And I know you can't feel it now, but if you are going through this now early on, and you are transformed from this experience ...
You will recover and you will move on ..more confident and with a lot more self love and respect ....
And you will only allow yourself to be attracted to someone who will genuinely love you, and respect you and you you everything this person never did...
I've seen a quote flying about a lot in fb that says" one day you will meet someone who will make you understand why it never worked with anyone else"
I love it when that pops up, to remind me that no one, not even the deepest sc I ever felt really stepped up....only about themselves they though about not me.
And it was my fault. Because I allowed it.
Becuase I didn't love myself enough ....and respect my own self...
If we don't love and respect. Our own selves how will anyone else.
We allow them to do what do....
I agree with the previous posts , stay far away from fb .
After my sc got married he posted the wedding pics, I can't even explain what I felt when I saw them.
I sent him my wishes and right after I unfollowed him so his pics didn't show up on my feed anymore...
Best thing I ever did and don't go back to look ...
I won't let myself , I see how it hurts me so deeply.
Treat yourself like you would your best friend going through sth like this.
Wouldn't you stop her from hurting herself by looking at pics like that???
Love yourself , let time heal and know life does not end here...you got a whole lotta living to do still missy
Even in my position...which is farther down the road and with a child ...I still haven't lost hope...
So you shouldn't too!
I hope you find your peace soon and get back to life again

[lunapixie]

My two cents after having gone through hell and back: it was never about a person. It was always about me. As it has always been about you. Whatever they do or whoever they are with is of no consequence in the end. The love remains intact, no matter what. Of course I have days when I still long for him, but it's less and less as time goes by. Because I have found my path, my tribe, my true purpose is life - a path which TF and I used to talk about walking together hand in hand. His free will chose otherwise and that's okay because other soul connections were immediately provided to me. It's amazing how everything was always working out for me even while I was in the pits of despair. Have faith. Accept what is. You will get through this. One word of advice, though, like everyone else I also agree that you should not look at any of their social media anymore. No need to keep hurting yourself by looking at inanimate pictures that may or may not convey true feelings. Love yourself enough to walk away and let grace enter your life. The universe will guide you to where you need to be and to whom you need to be with. Much love <3

[cdoliveira]

Originally Posted by Theophila

:
I've been feeling exactly like you mentioned....the loser .....everyone is being blessed by life and I'm cursed...
It's tested my faith and pushed my soul to its limits...

That is how I feel. I even started to think that I am the problem. But I know I am not. I have many many flaws but I am a good and honest person who is, at least, trying to be a better person. And we deserve to be loved. Truly, 100%. And this day will come. :)

Never give up, please. I feel the same but we need to be positive now. If it is not working we need to try again, harder.

[Heart]

[QUOTE4=tveg11]The best wisdom I ever received about these kinds of connections is that they mirror yourself back to you. With uncomfortable clarity..[/quote]


Your words hold potency. This is THE fundamental truth behind these connections. To understand this alone is to have learnt a lifetime of lessons in the nature of ourself

[Spectral1212]

You will start to get over it when you see the reality. That this is all about how you reacted to this person based on issues you have. Try to read what you have written here as an outsider....what would you say to comfort this person? Of course you are loveable and you know this. You do NOT really want someone who treats you badly. This sounds like a canned answer but it's the truth! And you should just give yourself a huge break and stop looking at his social media. For one thing, it is not a good gauge of what is really going on and second, it is keeping you trapped in the past. Focusing on him really is keeping you from fully living your own life. I am one who came through this and made it to a truly good and happy life. It is not only possible, it is crucial. And I know how you feel, it took years for me to get here so please don't think I am telling you to "just get over it", as I realize that isn't possible. You deserve the best in life and you have the power to give it to yourself.