negative energies (violent post warning

This story is an ugly time of my past, but something wants me to share it, so here goes.

My room-mate, Suzannah, killed herself. She used a hollow point bullet to ensure her death, and she killed herself exactly where she told me she would. And I did nothing to stop it.

She was behind on her rent and she had lied to me several times about having another job and paying me back soon. I was even paying for her groceries and gas. So I was fed up, but I was heartless. I was at an age of trying to assert myself as an independent adult, and I was more concerned with her paying her fair share than I was her mental health. All the signs were there. She had tried committing suicide before; she had a terribly family life; she was struggling with her sexuality; she even had a plan about how she would kill herself, where, and why. The most I did was tell her to go to the county for mental health services. After all, she owed me money. (God, what a jerk I was.)

So when the last deadline came and she had her line of excuses, I told her I wasn't hearing them and that she was to be out the next day. That night she shot herself in the head. I found her body; the blood, the mangled... It was horrible. She left three notes, one for each person she blamed for her suicide: me, her mother, and her ex. I never read my note. The police came, interviewed, took endless pictures. I'll never forget the snapping of bright lights as I sat across from the police at 3am.

When the victim counselor came to me, I completely broke down. I thought she, too, was going to blame me; afterall, I was not the victim. I was not the dead person lying on the porch.

I fled my home and moved in with my parents. Night terrified me so much that my own mother slept with me for a week (I was 23!!!) with the lights on mainly because I was convinced that Suzannah's vengeful soul would come back for vengeance.

In time, I controlled my fear of the dark and decided I needed to return home (well, it was either that or get rid of my dog as my parents refused to allow me to keep her at their house). Returning home was very difficult. I felt her negative presence everywhere.

(computer was acting funny, so I had to continue on a new post)

Anyway, I still slept with the lights on, but I wouldn't go into her area of the house. And I learned that I was feeding her negative energies by being afraid...heh, that's how I met one of my soulmates, by reaching out online for help.

After much advice and searching, I finally: cleared the house of all her belongings. (She had left some rather nasty and dangerous booby traps!) and I cleaned the house with sage, repeating what a Catholic priest told me to say, "This house belongs to Jesus; love and light live here." I also begged her forgiveness.

The presence didn't go away. If anything, I truly felt like it was developing a personality. Things started happening, like stuff being moved, noises at night, etc. And I wa told time and time again to face the energies before they became a personality.

So I finally sucked it up one night and faced her. After having the poop scared out of me, I started laughing because I was still alive. So my childish side kicked in and I mooned her!

Was all of that in my imagination, or could those energies have developed into an entity?

That was the last of the negative energies I ever felt.

I think... you approached it all in exactly the right way. Your friend, God bless her, was a sad lost soul and what was left was a thought form you 'fed' with your fears and guilt. Laughter is always the best medicine!

[Perry J]

Hi Nalan,
I have read this, and I am concerned about what you say here.

What I am doin myself to deal with negative energies, is asking Archangel Michael, like this, it really does help me:
(see: http://www.askrealjesus.com/persgrow...ilymatrix.html )

Archangel Michael, Set Me Free

Instructions: Give the following preamble once.

In the name of Jesus Christ, in the name of my I AM Presence and Christ self, I call to the heart of beloved Archangel Michael, all legions of the Blue Flame and the Will of God and the entire spirit of the Ascended Host, to protect me and all life from all imperfect energies, all forces of evil, all forces of antichrist and all forces of anti-peace. According to the will of God, it is done.

Instructions: Make a short call to direct the energies for a specific purpose. Then give the following decree nine times.

To Heaven’s mighty law
I call in humble awe,
to Michael now I shout
consume my every doubt!

In God’s name I command
Lord Michael now to stand,
your Presence in my field,
protected by your shield.

I call now to my Lord
with your blue-flame sword,
consume all darkness here
your Presence ever near.

Lord Michael take command,
with your blue-flame band,
defeat all forces who
are working against you.

Lord Michael take command,
my life is in your hand,
I put my trust in you,
to God I am now true.

I see the Christ within
I know that I will win,
my mortal life I give,
in Spirit now I live.

Lord Michael end all strife
and give all people life,
oh Michael raise the earth,
into her new birth.

Lead people from the cage
into the Golden Age,
the Christ will set all free
God’s children now to be.

I am sealing this prayer in the Heart of God for the manifestation of Christ perfection on Earth and in all aspects of my life and consciousness. It is done in accordance with God’s Holy Will. Amen.

What a horrible thing to go through! I defiantly think you faced your own fears and guilt in the end, and released the energy from you... Some people are just destin to kill themselves due to mental insecurities sound like nothing you could have said or done would have saved your flat mate... And when your childish side kicked in...she could see that you ment her no harm, and it was not your job babysit her...
That's a deep story to share, I could not begin to imagin how I would have coped...

I second what Perry J said. Summon Arch Angel Michael to remove her presence from your house and take her into the light.

I had to deal with the same situation. they commit a very selfish act they cannot turn back from and it causes us to suffer. if they are still around to understand this, forgive them.

My best friend could not hang with the fact his GF dumped him- so we had to clean up the mess and suffer his death? forgive your friend. don't punish yourself.

She has gone on into the next, whatever it may be.

I don't know if she has forgiven me, but she sent a sign via dream and then real life that indicated she did forgive me.

Most of all, I have so much to learn. As much as I want to say that I have learned my lesson, I know there is more to it; otherwise, I wouldn't have posted.

Thank you for your kind words.

I thought this thread was about negative energies becoming entities, but now I see it has a different purpose. Trouble is I don't know what that purpose is.

EDIT: this happened over 10 years ago, and I am fairly certain I have forgiven myself. I think.

oh forgive me for not reading all of it. yeah. I dont thing the energies always develop into entities, they(energies) become food for existing/external ones.....unless you act as a creator with thought forms.

Food for existing entities...that's intriguing. And no, I would NEVER act as a creator for such a horrid thing.