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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Death & The Afterlife

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  #1  
Old 10-11-2015, 09:40 PM
harleyquinn harleyquinn is offline
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after death...reincarnation... still with us

i'm new to learning about the afterlife and what happens to us after death- so forgive me if this question sounds silly

as i'm sure most have read- my former husband Michael passed away July 1

i've read a lot about how our loved ones continue to be with us- which is *somewhat* comforting (i would be more comforted if i actually felt him with me somehow)

i've also read a lot about reincarnation.

so how do the two of those work together?

i'm relatively young (33) and Michael was relatively young when he passed (43)

he had emotional demons that ended up with years of drug abuse, homelessness and other pain while here on earth. the homelessness, loneliness etc was sort of resolved after we got together- however the pain from his past was there as was the drugs - basically, life was not easy for him.

if he chooses to reincarnate (from what i've read, it is a choice - please correct me if i'm wrong)

does that mean he is no longer with me - or anyone else in his family?


i guess i'm trying to see how it all gets put together
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  #2  
Old 10-11-2015, 10:28 PM
AndrewGaia AndrewGaia is offline
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First of all, sorry so much for your deep loss. Being separated from a loved one in such a way is never easy. I think the best way to think about it would be to take a different perspective. I am not entirely certain about your beliefs but if you have begun to realize the eternal spirit that dwells within you then you know how powerful that is and how it is not necessarily only tied to your body. The same truth could be said for your husbands spirit. I am sure their were moment in your time together where you felt your spirits were actually one instead of being separate. Which is why love is one of the best vehicles for spiritual development.

Spirit does not follow, or rather, is not confined to the same principals that our bodies and the physical things of this world follow. Spirit is one, but at the same time can be experienced in the many. When you and your husband were "one" in life, it did not mean that his spirit vanished but rather the realization of your connection together enabled it to break the physical boundaries and be within in him and you at once.

So even if he were to choose to revisit the world in another form his spirit is not entirely bound by that one body. Even in his new body their will be a connection to you and his family. And since spirit goes beyond time and space their could not be anywhere that he could not connect with you or you could not connect with him. Just be open and I am sure (if you don't already) you would see him in little things found everywhere in life.

The truth is that if you are able to go deep within and feel your soul, you would be feeling his as well and that would not change no matter how many lives or directions you choose to go. Go back to a time, just a split second is all that's needed, when you two were totally connected in an embrace or a kiss. Don't think about it, just remember and experience it when your mind is slowed and out of the way. Then you are connected regardless of what forms his body may take, or yours for that matter. Remember that we do not ever loose anyone in the first place, it is just their body that was lost, not their soul/love/heart/essence.

Hope that helped.
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  #3  
Old 11-11-2015, 12:43 AM
harleyquinn harleyquinn is offline
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Thank you so much for your response.

Not that it changes anything, but just for clarification- Michael was my ex husband. we divorced prior to his passing- and we were not speaking at the time he passed.

-that being said..... I continue to love him more than life itself and as I have reconnected with his Mother she has confirmed he continued to love me until he passed.

the fact there was so much unresolved makes me sad- it also makes me wonder why i don't feel him more.

understandably some might say, well, because you were divorced- however I know Michael and I know he would want to speak with me- he would want to resolve all the things that were left undone.

maybe i am blocking it somehow...i just wish i knew how to make a strong connection
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Old 11-11-2015, 02:15 AM
wolfgaze wolfgaze is offline
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One possibility is the notion that we reincarnate with a group of souls (soul group) that we have shared many lifetimes and interactions with. So it may be more of an organized, collective, and planned process - rather than souls returning individually and immediately after their last lifetime ended. There are many schools of thought out there concerning the concept of reincarnation - so you definitely have to explore a good amount and contemplate various ideas until you arrive at an understanding that is functional for you. It takes time.

Please don't blame yourself if you are not currently or constantly feeling his presence and connected to him. When my Mom passed I know I did not feel her presence for a long time. It was that sense of absence which motivated me to really seek out an understanding of the spiritual dimension of existence and this caused me to engage in a lot of introspection and contemplation. Over time this had the effect of elevating and expanding my state of awareness and this was very important. I'm thankful for how everything played out because I now see the purpose that it served. Based on my own experience and what I have seen others report, I would say that what you're experiencing is no uncommon nor unusual, so no need to second guess yourself... I believe we find ourselves feeling more connected to our deceased loved ones once we make progress transmuting the challenging emotions (sadness, grief) into healing emotions (love, gratitude, appreciation). For me there was definitely a point where I started to make a shift from primarily identifying with that sense of loss and the sadness - to instead celebrating the qualities of the loved on who passed and feeling gratitude and appreciation for the ways in which she enriched my life and helped me. Again, this takes time and patience...

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Old 11-11-2015, 03:09 AM
Tobi Tobi is offline
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Dear Harleyquinn,
My kindest thoughts to you and blessings to your husband's Soul. I am sorry for the grief you must have felt and any sense of separation.

Your husband's love is still with you. But it is in another dimension. The dimension of Heart, and Thought. (to us here anyway.)

Do not concern yourself with thoughts about his reincarnating, or any ideas about that because it's impossible to see how things in Spirit actually work. The chances are he will remain in Spirit anyway until you are also there. There is no 'time' as we comprehend it here. Time there is very different. It could be hundreds of years before there is a need for reincarnation! It could be longer! And it is always a choice. It is not like a bus one has to catch to go to work or you get fired!

Raise up your heart and thought in peace and grace and love to him. Find times of 'secret sacred space' between you. The more you raise up your thoughts in a kind of peaceful joyful stillness, the better chance you will have of entering his wavelength, and sensing his company in Spirit.
You may be able to do this as you go through everyday life, or maybe on quiet walks....or maybe set aside some time each day for meditation and stillness of mind.

Love never dies, and those who deeply love are not separated. There is much joy. But it's a bit like tuning in a radio to the "Spirit Frequency". They are on FM for example, while we are on "Medium Wave"....just do some re-tuning.

But even if you do that, be prepared that there will be times when he will not apparently be with you. He is -and yet he also has things to do there which may require a certain focus. Be patient and ever loving.
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  #6  
Old 11-11-2015, 04:19 AM
harleyquinn harleyquinn is offline
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wolfgaze- thank you for your reply.
Your perspective is always so insightful and really makes me think. I appreciate the challenge of thinking outside my grief.

the group of souls is interesting. I think about the fact that Michael and i were born 10 years a part - which seems like a long time, but i know i've been told there is no time in the spirit world

tomorrow is his birthday...and it's going to be a huge struggle for me....

but if we don't remember that time- the time in between lives...does it really happen? will i be aware and know i am with him?


Tobi- thank you also for your reply
i think i need to learn to tune my frequency a bit more. i keep hearing grief can block any communication from loved ones on the other side. and i am definitely still deep in grief

i like the idea that there could be such a huge space in time before his soul has to come to earth again. similar to what wolfgaze said about soul groups....i like that he may be able to wait for me

this question might be bigger than what you can answer- but if not reincarnating what kind of other work would need to be done?
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Old 11-11-2015, 04:50 AM
wolfgaze wolfgaze is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by harleyquinn
thank you for your reply.
Your perspective is always so insightful and really makes me think. I appreciate the challenge of thinking outside my grief.

Welcome.... and thank you for the kind feedback...

Quote:
Originally Posted by harleyquinn
the group of souls is interesting. I think about the fact that Michael and i were born 10 years a part - which seems like a long time, but i know i've been told there is no time in the spirit world

My older sister and I are 10 years apart, and we have always shared a strong bond and a special feeling of kinship with one aonther... If 'soul groups' are the real deal, I would have no doubt that my sister and I are part of the same one.

And yes I agree that there is no perception of the passage of 'time' from the vantage point of the spiritual dimension.... 'Time' only seems relevant here in the context of experiencing the physical dimension, and it's our perception of it here is rooted in the influence of the physical mind (brain).

Quote:
Originally Posted by harleyquinn
tomorrow is his birthday...and it's going to be a huge struggle for me....

Birthdays, Anniversaries, Holidays, and other types of meaningful reminders can not only encourage you to think about and consciously connect with the loved one who has passed - but these instances also provide opportunities for you to process your difficult emotions and work towards releasing that energy. So if you do feel sadness tomorrow, even though it hurts in the moment, allow yourself to fully experience those emotions and try not to fight it....

Quote:
Originally Posted by harleyquinn
but if we don't remember that time- the time in between lives...does it really happen? will i be aware and know i am with him?

I suspect that the very act of inhabiting a physical body places a limitation on our ability to access information (memories) that we would have access to in non-physical form. It's like a temporary amnesia that occurs. You do have some individuals, particularly some young children, who at a very young age will recall details of either an alleged prior lifetime, or some information about experience just prior to incarnating (like choosing their parents). Then as these children get older and become more conditioned to experiencing the physical world, their ability to recall this information fades.

So just because you may not remember something righ tnow, does not mean that the information is lost or that you will not eventually return to a state of being of having full awareness of your experiences. In fact there are ample NDE accounts where individuals left their bodies and while experiencing a different environment/dimension - reported having access to much information and details that were not previously accessible & available to them during their regular, physical state of being.
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  #8  
Old 11-11-2015, 05:41 AM
harleyquinn harleyquinn is offline
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Quote:
Welcome.... and thank you for the kind feedback...
you're welcome. sometimes i get so wrapped up in my grief that my mind is clouded and it really hinders the growth and learning process.

Quote:
fully experience those emotions and try not to fight it....
that is something i need to learn to do. i constantly try to fight the grief and that just makes it more difficult.

tomorrow i am going to attempt to celebrate his life and the time we had together- even if it was too short instead of just grieving his death....however, it is going to be difficult
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  #9  
Old 11-11-2015, 05:55 AM
HMyBodhisattva HMyBodhisattva is offline
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Awww Harley. It may already be after midnight where you are. 1111 is one of my numbers. I see it all the time. I'll be thinking of Michael and you today. I am not looking forward to his bday, and can only imagine how difficult it is for you. I read your previous questions, but will respond on those later, if I don't please remind me. xoxoxo
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  #10  
Old 11-11-2015, 06:07 AM
harleyquinn harleyquinn is offline
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thank you HMyBodhisattva :) I know i am always supported by you and it is greatly appreciated

I don't know if I shared this with you already (so if i did i apologize for the duplicate) but this is the tattoo i got for him last month

http://imgur.com/A6nlEpQ

(That picture was taken less than an hour after it was done...so please excuse the redness and the little bit of ink leaking still haha)

it's the one thing that really makes me feel close to him.
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