Fate or a distraction from my true path?

Hi,

I'm new to the site and am looking for some advice from some like minded people, as I am really confused and sad. I'll try not to be long winded, and I hope this makes sense! Feel free to ask any questions if you need me to fill any gaps.

I was married for almost 7 years and have three children. While being in the marriage I gradually lost my spiritual self, until I was mundanely living day to day without feeling much positive energy. We seperated about 6mths ago, but the marriage was emotionally over well before that. I am grateful for the three beautiful children that came from that relationship and now continue a freindship with my ex.

Since the seperation, I have settled into life and have been finding parts of my true self that I had lost. I feel that I have been reasonably well balanced and enjoying life again. I have regained my confidence and have been meeting new people and generally getting out and about more that my usual introverted self would. Here is where the confusion starts, I met someone who I instantly felt drawn to. The second I saw his eyes, I felt a strong connection with him. He feels it too and since then, for various reasons, we have been both struggling with the immensity of it.

Just after we met, he was offered a very well paying job that was a long distance from where I am. He had made himself plans that this job would help him achieve, so I fully support his decision. We have been in constant contact since he left for the job, but being seperated from him has been painful at times and very distracting. It has also been made difficult by the fact that each time we plan to see each other, something stops it from happening.

We are opposites in the fact that he guards himself a lot, while I tend to bare my soul. I suspected that there was more to him guarding himself than meets the eye, which was confirmed when he revealed to me that he suffers depression. So in the short time that we have know each other there has been a lot of ups and downs, mainly downs. Which I've had trouble dealing with considering we are seperated by distance and am unable to help him when I am so far away.

The situation at present, is that he is going through a major period of depression and communication has gone silent. I'm as low as I could possibly feel, I don't even know if he is in a safe place or alone. He would not tell me where he is and told me that he will contact me as soon as he can. I am feeling in a state of depression myself, there is nothing at all that gives me any joy right now and my constant thoughts are whether he is ok or not.

My brain tells me that I am a fool for getting myself attached to someone that could bring me down so low and have so much of an effect on me, when I have recently freed myself to become all that I can become.

My spiritual self tells me that we were drawn together for a reason and that something so unusually strong could not be ignored because it is difficult. I strongly believe that every person meets for a reason, no matter how brief that meeting. I feel like I am meant to play some part in his progress in this life, and visa versa. I am willing to accept that our connection may be intended to be brief.

So the questions I am struggling to find answers for are:-

How can I determine that this is the path that I need to endure for now, rather than one that is meant to test my ability to make better choices for myself?

How can I turn my back on something that seems to be so destined and that I care so deeply about?

How can I find some balance while the situation is this stressful?

Is there any way that I can help him at this distance?


I have been meditating and sending him positive energy. I have tried some automatic writing in the hope of some guidance. But I really don't know what to do from here. Every waking moment I have in my mind, that I hope that he is safe.

Thanks for reading, any ideas would be appreciated.

[Saggi]

I have included Medium Laura's quote from another post on Healing because I think it's the best explanation I've read explaining Empathy.

If you lost yourself and you are discovering yourself, I strongly feel that it's because the loss of love helped you believe you lost yourself. When in actual fact if you turn it round you found a gift! And whether this is fate or a distraction you are discovering the connection between you and and your partner, regardless of whether it's together or at a distance.

Hope it helps and gives you a step in the right direction

Love and hugs

Jo

XxXx

Originally Posted by Medium_Laura

Depression, Anger Issues, Empath?



Many times in our lives we walk into a room and can feel the palpable energy of a fight or argument. You wake up one morning in the best of moods, but when you arrive at work, you feel like crying and hiding away from everyone. Has this happened to you?

Empaths are people who can read (and absorb) another’s energy in their own bodies.
If you don’t realize you are an empath, you can literally begin to “take-on” other people’s emotions, illnesses, sorrow, and anger without even knowing it. If the above happens to you more than a few times a month, you are more than likely an empath.



Empathic ability is inherited

People with this sensitive ability also have the gift of “knowing”. My great grandmother called it “Nawayee” in her Native tongue. She also thought that this ability was inherited and passed on through generations. Take a close look at people in your family; is someone just a little bit too sensitive? Do they get angry if someone else is? Do they cry when a friend of yours starts to cry; even if they don’t know the reasoning?



Thoughts and feelings are energy

Going into large crowds or busy shopping areas can literally cause panic in an empath. We do not know why and tend to make many excuses as to why we can’t shop during the holidays. Empaths can also feel someone else’s pain. I have a very hard time if someone I’m near has just smashed their finger or burned their arm. A tingle goes through my midsection (solar plexus) and suddenly I can physically feel the injury as if it was my own. This also happens to me when I am doing spirit communications; spirit may give me shortness of breath or a pain in my stomach or chest. It can be informative for my client, I can then verify how this spirit passed.

Often just seeing a program on the T.V. will cause an empath to have reactions. The local news is especially hard for empathic people; seeing people crying or angry, affects us more than just the story itself. Fictional shows can also evoke feelings for an empath. We know that they are actors, but in order for that actor to cry, they must think of something sad or heartbreaking to develop real tears. We feel that and we cry. Your friends probably have remarked to you “You’re so sensitive! It’s just a movie!” Not to an empath, we connect to the people more than we do the show.

These empathic people often just know things about someone they know or are near; sometimes information you’d rather not know! Your friend is sleeping with her husband’s brother. This just pops into your head and leaves you feeling confused and wondering why you would even think something like that. It is almost as if her thoughts are floating through the air and you are receiving them like a radio does.

This is not very far from what is actually happening. Thoughts and feelings have energy. Negative words and emotions are the strongest and easiest to pick up. These transmit through the atmosphere; those of us sensitive enough can “tune in” even without trying. There are several ways to protect yourself from absorbing them, but still being able to “sense” the energies around.




Ways to protect your energy and clear it:

• Do a mental check before you leave your house. The thing you need to set is your mood for the day. If you are feeling happy and in a good mood, make a note of it. This will help you to distinguish when you are picking up feelings that don’t belong to you.

• Ask yourself “Do I have any reason to be feeling _____? Fill in the blank. Suddenly I can feel like I want to hit someone in the face and I have never been someone that uses physical violence. I ask myself “Do I have any reason to feel angry?” Usually I get a “no”, and I release that energy from my auric field.

• Learn to shield. You don’t have to do a 20 minute meditation or anything that is even noticeable to people around you. Many times I find a place to be alone and I close my eyes for a few minutes. Visualize a beautiful bubble of white light, like an egg shell that surrounds you, head to toe and around you. As if you are enclosed in a translucent egg. Say in your mind “I am Divinely protected. My feelings are my own.” This will help you to shield out any energies that don’t belong to you.

• Grounding your energy is also important. If you feel angry and you can’t shake it. Do another small visualization. This time, you are a tree. Feel your roots going deep down into the earth, branching out and absorbing the wonderful heat. Now send down those negative feelings down your feet and your tailbone and into the earth, down, down, deeper. Once you feel that you have sent all the negative away, pull up your roots and close the connection.

• Showering – funny enough, taking a nice shower and imagining that the water is washing more away from you than just germs and dirt. Use your mind to create white light within the shower water, washing down the drain and into the earth; all the negativity and emotions that do not belong to you. You can even say this in your mind “Water of light, please wash away all the emotions and energy that do not belong to me.”

Being an empath can be annoying and confusing. Why do I have to feel other people’s feelings? Just like other “gifts” in the world, it is an ability that is very important to helping people in their lives; knowing when someone is saying one thing and doing another, understanding a friend who is going through personal issues and much more. Learning to use it positively is the key. There are many books on the market about auras and empathy. Take the time to learn about your gift and you will benefit others and yourself in the future.

Thanks Jo, I appreciate your response.

Reading through the post, I found that a lot of it makes sense to me. I'm at the point that I feel like I have to protect myself from the negative energy that I feeling from the relationship. As hard as the situation has been, I'm beginning to see that I have experienced some personal growth through it all, but I really need to ground myself a little.

MagicalBlessing,

Too much ego in a relationship destroys it. It takes two open-hearted people to have a good relationship, two people who can be themselves, who they are in their hearts. Otherwise, it's just mask-to-mask, false persona to false persona.

[psychoslice]

Originally Posted by Carolyn90210

MagicalBlessing,

Too much ego in a relationship destroys it. It takes two open-hearted people to have a good relationship, two people who can be themselves, who they are in their hearts. Otherwise, it's just mask-to-mask, false persona to false persona.

I like that, Carolyn, well said.